I turn on my heels and walk out the door. My heart may have just been left in his apartment, but I’m going to work and I don’t need it. He can have it, since it’s dead anyway.

The hotel in midtown Manhattan is arranged perfectly while everything else in my life is a mess. I look around and want to leave already. This is the worst possible place for me, being in this room, all dressed up but feeling naked and exposed. I was on camera when I found it all out, everyone saw. But more than that, he ripped me wide open when we spoke.

I hear people moving around me but I don’t see faces. “Cat, there’s a small problem in the bar area.” Taylor’s hand touches my shoulder and I jump.

“Sorry, Tay. What did you say?” I close my eyes and dispel all my issues for the moment, willing myself to focus.

When I finally look up, Taylor smiles and repeats her previous statement. “The rooftop bar is claiming we didn’t reserve it exclusively. I handled it, but I figured you’d want to know,” she says and looks at me, waiting.

Everything is in slow motion.

“Catherine? Can you handle this?” she questions me.

“I don’t know,” I say, looking up into her eyes, begging her to help me in some way. I feel lost. “I’m going to need you to stay by my side.”

“Is he coming?”

“I couldn’t tell you. I assume he is, but please,” I grip her wrists and plead, “Keep him away from me. I can’t.”

She twists to hold my hands in hers. “I think one day you’ll see the strength you actually have. You’re going to get through this, but I’ll be by your side the entire night.”

I attempt to smile but fail. “Thank you.”

“You look beautiful, by the way.” She releases my hands and grabs her phone and answers. “Yes, I’m aware but the contract states differently.” She pauses letting the other person speak. “Oh, that’s fine, but then I want a full refund.” Another pause. “You seem to have me confused with someone who cares what your problem is. I’ll either be getting a full refund or you’ll secure the roof. Figure it out.” Taylor disconnects the phone and I’m impressed.

“Well, looks like my sweet, timid assistant has found her New York attitude.”

“After spending enough time around you, it was bound to happen. Besides, when you get this new job, I’m hoping I’ll be moved up as well.” She smiles and I make a mental note to make sure that happens.

“If I get the promotion.”

“You’ll get it. I believe in you.”

A few guests start to filter in and when I glance around the room, making sure everything is running smoothly—I see him. He’s sitting at a table watching me. I want to look anywhere else, but my eyes don’t move. We assess each other unsmiling and unwilling to break the only connection we have right now. His eyes don’t waver even as someone approaches him. The hurt radiates through me remembering why we’re like this. This morning, the sight of him made my heart race, but right now it makes me sick. Refusing to give him any more of my attention, I turn my head and walk to the bar.

“What can I get you?” the bartender asks, wiping the granite counter.

“A lemon drop.”

“Martini or drink?”

“Shot.”

He looks at me with a brow raised. Yes, I said shot. If I’m going to spend the next however many hours in the same room as my client, I need a little liquid courage.

“One lemon drop shot coming right up.”

“You know what, fuck it. Just give me a shot of vodka.” No need to pretty it up.

The bartender turns and places the shot in front of me, and before he can say anything, I throw the shot back and savor the burn. At least I can feel it. The alcohol flows through me and warms me.

“Another,” I demand, and instead of any commentary, he refills my shot glass. “Thanks.”

Without wasting any time I take that shot and place the glass down.

This is going to be a long night.

“So you’re going to get drunk?” I turn and see Taylor looking at me with wide eyes.

“That was so I’d be able to be in the same room as him. Is it hot in here?”

Taylor shakes her head, “I think that’s the shots. You need to introduce everyone in five.”

I nod and head back into the staging area behind the curtain. The party is meant to be a fun way for everyone to see everything and get to meet the members of the company. We wanted to show that as much as Raven is a corporation, they’re more of a family. Ironic. It seems that statement is true in more than one way.

The room quiets and I take my place back on stage. I wonder what fun information I’ll learn this time.

“Good evening and welcome,” I smile somehow and hope it’s sincere enough. This is your job, Catherine. Keep it together. “On behalf of Raven Cosmetics, we want to thank you for all being here to celebrate the launch of the new line. I’d like to introduce the CEO, so please put your hands together for Jackson Cole.” I clap and wait for him to stand as Taylor hands him a microphone.

I close my eyes and try to block out the sound of his voice. “Thank you, thank you.” He pauses and waits for the applause to end. “I wanted to personally thank you all for being here, and I’m grateful to be able to spend this evening with you as well. This product line has been something that we’ve worked on for a few years and are extremely pleased it’s ready to be launched. Sometimes the timing isn’t right,” Jackson pauses and looks directly at me. “I wanted to be sure everything was in order before going forward and ensuring success.” His eyes don’t move from mine. This is not the speech I wrote for him.

Son of a bitch.

“There are many things I planned to say tonight, but I’m having trouble remembering them all.” He chuckles and the crowd joins him. “This was never a company I thought I’d have a hand in. As life happens, things change. We have to make choices and they aren’t always the right ones, but we have to live with that.” He pauses and looks around the room. “Today was a great day for Raven and I appreciate you all being here. Please enjoy yourselves and we look forward to many more celebrations together.” He raises his glass and everyone claps.

I stand there dumbfounded at his words spoken directly to me. He’s mingling with the guests but manages to look over and cement me to the ground.

Hate.

Love.

Anger.

Pain.

Lies.

Swirling around like a funnel cloud in my heart. Each twist tears another piece of me to shreds. He continues to hold my gaze until I hear someone behind me.

“Come on, Cat.” She grasps my elbow and pulls me over to the side.

I draw a deep breath and when I let it out, a sob breaks free. Standing where no one can see me, I lose it. I fall apart. The tears stream down my face and Taylor pulls me against her.

“Oh my God.” My breathing is short and I begin to hyperventilate. “I can’t be here,” I say aloud while I struggle to catch my breath.

“Go. I can handle anything that might come up here. Everything’s basically done.”

“I’m so sorry, Taylor.” I hold my torso hoping to keep myself together long enough to get out of here without falling apart again. “Just being in the same room as him right now …” I trail off when I see him standing in front of me.