Beholden Page 15


Not one bone in my body thinks he’s done any of the bullshit she spewed, but I want to hear what happened from him.

Jackson looks confused for a second before he composes himself. “I fired her.”

“I’m aware of that, but why?”

“Because she was no longer needed. I hired you and I don’t need to keep her on my payroll when I have you there to help me make the same choices she would be advising,” Jackson says without any hesitation. “Also, I was preparing for when you came back to me. I wanted to keep her the hell away from you.”

Somehow I manage to mask my emotions. It was his way of protecting me, or at least showing me he cared. “Well, Piper tried to tell me it was because she wouldn’t sleep with you.”

“That’s a fucking lie!” Jackson yells and tries to move too fast. He groans while gripping his leg, clearly in pain.

I rush over and place my hand on his cheek. “Babe,” I say softly, “I never thought you did. I told her she was full of shit. I recorded the conversation, which I don’t know why I thought I should, but it was good I did. I’ll send it to Gretchen too in case she needs it. But I need to handle this and make sure this doesn’t get out of control. With you in the hospital, we need your image to appear commanding.”

“Catherine.” His voice is warm and washes over me. He grasps my hand that’s holding his face before speaking. “I never touched her. We never even had a moment where it could’ve happened. I was so mad at you. You infuriated me that night. But never, not once, did I even think of going near anyone else. She walked in my office and I fired her before I even knew I wanted to. Just the sight of her, knowing she hurt you in any way …” He takes a deep breath. “I never wanted to see her, so I fired her. I told her I no longer needed her advice and to leave immediately. I don’t want you anywhere near either of them.”

“I never thought you did. None of this is relevant to what’s going on now. I’m telling you Neil is apparently after something. Gretchen has this under control and so do I.” I’m not conceding to him. I ultimately don’t care about Piper or Neil. They’re non-issues. My focus is Jackson and getting home. The launch is coming soon and he refuses to push it back again, so we need to get him ready.

“You need to stay away from him. I’m not kidding.”

“I’m not arguing,” I say back quickly.

“Stay away from him.” Jackson’s voice is cold as ice.

I can keep going back and forth with him or I can end this how he wants it. I’m going to handle Neil once and for all. He’s pushed me to the point of no return. When I get back to New York, he’ll be dealt with. However, I’m not going to keep fighting with Jackson about it either.

 

Time passes slowly while we wait for the charge nurse to release Jackson. The last week he’s improved and of course also overdid it. He’s going to drive me up the wall with his defiance. No matter how many times he’s been told to slow down and take it easy, that seemed to only spur him to go at it harder. The poor look on the physical therapist’s face when he tried to put pressure on his leg.

“What are they doing? It’s a simple damn form, not an act of Congress,” Jackson says, aggravated and impatient.

Which is his new normal attitude.

“Relax, she said it would be a few minutes.”

Jackson sighs heavily while rubbing his hand down his face, “I want to get home.”

I smile and try to diffuse his irritation. “I know, baby. I’m sure they want you out of here just as much as you want to be gone.” My last words slip out a little harsher than I mean, but he’s been less than easygoing. I know men are babies when they’re sick but I’m really ready to slap him.

“What does that mean?” he says clearly surprised at my little dig.

“You’ve been an ass, and that’s me being nice. Yesterday, I think you made the nurse cry. I know it sucks being reliant on people, but I swear, if you talk to me like that I will poke you in your bad leg.” I grin trying to soften my tone and sound playful while ensuring the message is delivered.

He looks taken aback as though he has no clue what I mean. “She wasn’t listening to me.”

“Jackson, you’ve snapped at every single person. You yelled at Mark on the phone yesterday because he did exactly what you asked for. Poor Danielle called me asking why she got an email with a list of things she already did.” I pause and sink down to look him in the eyes. “I know this is hard for you. God, I get it.”

His eyes harden and he purses his lips. “No. None of you get it. I can’t fucking walk. I can’t use a wheelchair, or crutches. I need you to help me take a piss.” He throws his hands up before rubbing the back of his neck. “I fucking hate this. I can’t sleep, I have one leg and one arm that work, but they don’t work together.”

I reach out and gently rub his cheek. “Hey,” I wait for him to look at me. “I have two arms and two legs, and I’m here. Don’t push me away. I love you.”

Jackson draws a breath and leans his head against mine. “I love you and I’ll try not to make you stab me in the leg.”

I laugh and kiss him, “I hope you try hard because I’ve refrained a few times already and I can’t promise I have much willpower left.”

Before he can respond the nurse appears.

“Okay, Mr. Cole. You’re all clear. You have all the medication for the ride home. Dr. Allison already spoke with the doctor in New York who’s going to follow up. All I need is your signature on this form and you can head home.” She smiles brightly.

Jackson signs the form and we exit the hospital that’s kept him alive. The ride to the airport is quiet as we both enjoy the freedom of the outside world. It’s been a rough few weeks and it’s not over yet. Luckily, it’s not a long ride and we get on the plane easily, thanks to two sailors who rode with us to help. I knew I couldn’t lift him, so the SEAL team in Germany sent help.

We head to the bedroom in the back of the plane and Jackson sleeps holding my hand. They gave him a mixture of painkillers for the long journey, and thankfully, he didn’t argue about taking them because he knew it would be rough. I lie here looking at him and allow myself this time to let out the emotions of the past few weeks. I let the tears fall and watch each one stain the pillow. They’re not tears of weakness, they’re tears of strength. There is no shame because this has been hell. I’ve never been more scared yet determined in my life.

I run my fingers through his hair as he dreams. I listen to his breathing and marvel at him. This strong but damaged man who loves me. Jackson came into my life like a force of nature. Pushing me to feel and refusing to give me a chance to run away anymore. I’m sure I’ll run again, only this time I’ll run to him.

 

 

“Jackson!” I shake him as he’s gasping and clutching his chest.

This is the fifth night in a row he’s had a thrashing nightmare. Even with the sleeping pills the new doctor prescribed, he still wakes in a pool of sweat and doesn’t remember what happened—or at least that’s what he says.

“I’m fine. Go back to sleep.” He pushes the hair out of my eyes and cups my cheek.

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