She’s lying face down against L, wiggling and scooting, and Amy comes over to assess her. “This is a pretty amazing process that’ll happen over the next hour. As she’s lying here against you, she’ll begin to scoot on her own so she can latch onto your breast. Some babies do it quickly while others take a while. She’s already started to make her way down so I bet she’ll be a fast one.”

“If her delivery is any kind of indicator, then she will be.”

L is cleaned up and put into a more comfortable position while Maggie James remains on her chest, exploring and searching out L’s breast. It’s an amazing process to watch—this newborn infant slowly migrating in search of her first meal.

Amy’s right. It takes about an hour but Maggie James eventually scoots low enough to find L’s breast. It’s something to see her latch onto her mother for the first time. “Look at that.”

L is beaming. “She’s incredible.”

“This is it—the life I saw when I dreamed of our future. It was always you, me, and her, but this is just the beginning. There’s so much more to come. More life together. More happiness. More babies.”

L helps MJ latch on with a better suck. “You were once my beauty from pain, before you became my beauty from surrender. Now you’ve adapted into something different once again.”

“And what is that?”

“My beauty from love—both of you. Forever.”

Epilogue

The tub filled with water for a long time. Red currant fragrances the air, so I know L won’t be leaving her refuge anytime soon. Too bad the scented candles don’t disguise the odor I’m encountering.

Damn, L. What did you feed this kid today?

Luke’s lying on the changing table, his blue eyes watching me as he waits for his nappy to be removed, and I’d swear he’s grinning and giggling because he’s amused by the deposit he’s left for me. I put my finger under his chin and tickle his neck, making him burst into laughter. “Your mother knew you were going to do this. She fed all of you the same thing today and that’s why she asked me to change and bathe you.” I look over at Luke’s clone crawling on the floor and wonder if he’s already done the same thing. My guess would be yes. “Hudson, have you blown up your nappy like your brother?”

He crawls toward me and uses my pant leg to pull up. “Da.”

I reach down and muss his dark hair. “You’re next, little buddy.”

I survive the toxic waste left for me by my two sons and wonder how in the world nine-month-old babies can do what they just did. It shouldn’t be physically possible but then I decide the universe must be against me when I find that MJ has done the same thing, but on a larger scale.

L plotted this. It’s retaliation for me telling her I was ready to try for another baby, I know it.

I guess it’s too soon for a fourth. Our hands are pretty full with a two-year-old and nine-month-old twins. The boys are rambunctious, beginning to get into everything, and I’m certain it’s only going to get worse. However, MJ is the sweetest child ever born. She’s daddy’s little girl and has been since I saw her tiny little face when she was still inside L and we thought we’d lose her.

It’s true. A little girl can wrap her daddy around her finger. That’s what Maggie James has done to me, but what else would you expect from a little angel with warm chestnut hair, the ends kissed with curls? My heart melts every time her caramel eyes look my way but the doozy is hearing her call out for me, her daddy. There’s never been a more precious sound.

The trio is bathed and ready for bed when Laurelyn comes into the twin’s room. She sits in the rocker for me to hand them off for their last feeding. This is our nightly ritual, so I already know Luke will nurse for ten minutes before he’s out with Hudson following five minutes later, and then L will lie with MJ in her bed until she falls asleep.

I can’t believe L ever feared that she might be a shitty mother. No one could do a better job with our kids.

But she needs a break.

When the threesome is down for the night, we go into the living room and fall onto the couch, L on one end, me on the other. I bring her feet to my lap for a good rub. “Did you enjoy your alone time?”

L’s head rests on the arm of the couch, her eyes closed. She looks as though she could fall asleep any second. “Very much so. That tub of bubbles was much needed. Am I still pruny?” She examines her fingertips. “Thank you for taking over with the kiddos tonight.”

She seems more tired than usual. “Is something going on, love?”

She doesn’t open her eyes. “I’m just exhausted because one of the boys was into something all day long. I almost wish they were immobile again. Things were so much easier then.”

She needs a break before she breaks. “Let’s take the kids to my parents and go away for a few days.”

Her eyes pop open and she lifts her head to look at me. “You know we can’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m still nursing the twins.”

“They can take bottles for a few days. It won’t hurt them.” I don’t give her the chance to argue before I continue with more reasons we should get away. “Our kids need you to be well rested so you can be the best mum possible. You have to take care of you so you can take care of them. As your husband, it falls on me to recognize when you need a break, and it’s time.”

Leaving the kids at my parents was a mess. All three were crying and L was too. I practically had to drag her out the door so we wouldn’t miss our flight, but all is good now that we’re on the plane.

“I’m glad we’re doing this.” Her tune has changed.

“You didn’t look so happy about it an hour ago.”

“I’m sorry I lost it, but we’ve never left them for more than a few hours. I just started thinking about their confusion when we don’t come back for them. They could think we’ve left them forever.”

She’s going to start again. “Stop, L. They’re fine. My parents will spoil them rotten. And don’t forget that Evan and Emma are bringing the kids over tomorrow so they can play together.”

She’s so emotional, convincing me further that this trip is exactly what she needs, so I’m going to do everything I can to take her mind off the kids while we’re away. “Our lives revolve around our children twenty-four seven, so I don’t want to talk kids while we’re away. This getaway is about you and me.” I wish I’d booked a private plane. I’d take her to the back and give her something to make her forget it all.