~~

The next two weeks of my life fell into a sad little routine. I went to class, came home. I went to work, came home. I did the one thing I swore I would never do, no matter what happened. I quit my job at Barton's. I just couldn't be around Jordan after everything. I knew I was being a coward but I just didn't have it in me to see him. Because he hadn't tried to contact me since the night of the mixer.

Not once. No texts, no phone calls. Nothing. Talk about making a gal feel special.

My life had become an endless source of misery. I knew people were talking about me behind my back. I could see the stares I got when I walked into the commons to eat lunch. The whispers that would suddenly go quiet when I would enter a room.

Jordan's fraternity brothers were the worst. They leered at me as though they were picturing me naked. And they didn't stop there. One of the guys, a new pledge, came up to me while I was reading my Shakespeare homework on the quad before class.

I had looked up in surprise as he dropped down beside me on the bench. I didn't even know the guy's name. He smiled at me and I smiled back, unsure what was going on . “You're Maysie Ardin, right?” He had asked, his smile wide. I had frowned, not sure where he was going with this.

He had put his hand down on my upper thigh, his fingers brushing the edge of my shorts. I moved backwards in shock. “Get your hands off of me,” I had told him angrily, swatting his hand away. The guy had only laughed and pressed toward me again, his hand snaking around my waist and pulling me toward him. I pushed on his chest. “Who the hell do you think you are? Get the f**k away from me right now!” I said as calmly as I was able. I had started to tremble, my anxiety peaking precariously.

I darted a look around, there were people everywhere. If I screamed, a hundred people would be there to help. The guy leaned toward me and stopped just short of my lips. I clenched my mouth shut, prepared to bite him if he tried to kiss me. He pressed something into my hand and then put his lips by my ear. “I'd like to use this sometime. My name is Derek. I'm over at Olin Hall. Room 312. I want to see what those lips could do for me.”

Then he had pulled away, got to his feet and walked toward a group of Pi Sigs who were howling with laughter. A few of the guys clapped him on the shoulder. The guy had puffed up his chest and threw a look my way as if to say, you know you want this.

I had looked down at what he put in my hand and I blanched. It was a condom. A f**king, foil wrapped, ribbed for her pleasure, condom. The Pi Sigs were heading across the quad. I wasn't sure what had possessed me but I had run after them.

“Hey!” I called out. The douchy pledge had turned around, a look of pure arrogance on his face. As though I were going to blow him right there on the quad. I flicked the condom at him and it hit his chin before falling to the ground. “I'd rather staple it shut than let your tiny penis anywhere near me,” I yelled.

“Denied by the skank!” One of the guys, who I recognized as Greg, a Pi Sig senior, taunted the pledge. I shrank at the word he used to describe me. Skank. They thought I was a skank. But then I got mad.

“Skank? Says the guy who pays for f**ks.” Greg turned red and he clenched his fists. I laughed harshly. “Yeah, everyone knows about that,” I mocked. The rest of the Pi Sigs were in fits of riotous laughter.

I turned to the pledge again. “So take your condom and use it to go f**k yourself,” I spat out. Wow, where had that come from? I had been kind of proud of myself. The pledge leaned down to pick the condom up off of the ground.

Tucking it into his pocket he sneered at me. “As if I'd let my dick anywhere near that. I have standards.” And without another look in my direction, the guys turned and walked away. Leaving me standing in the middle of the quad pissed but completely humiliated.

I had turned around and ran across the grass. I blew off the rest of my classes that day and gone back to my apartment. I wouldn't leave for another two days. My show of bravado faded as quickly as it had come and I was done with it all.

I was depressed. Hurting. I stayed away from the Chi Delta house. I stayed away from people in general. I ate my meals at home, avoiding the commons. I didn't hang around after classes like I typically did. I had become a damn pariah. Nobody spoke to me. It was like I had a contagious disease. And as much as I wanted to scream and yell at each and every one of them, I kept my mouth resolutely shut. I convinced myself that doing that would only make things worse. No matter how good it may have made me feel.

Rinard was a small campus. Only 700 students. It was that reason that I had chosen the college in the first place. I wanted the intimate class sizes and more hands on learning. I wanted to feel that sense of community. Now, I wished nothing more than to be lost in the crowd. Instead of being stuck in a place where everyone knew my business and judged me for it.

“You need to leave this apartment!” Riley declared one evening. I was on the couch, my normal place of occupancy over the last few days. I scowled at my roommate.

“I'm perfectly happy right here, thank you very much.” I mumbled, turning my eyes back to the television.

Riley grunted in disapproval and turned off the TV. “Enough! Go get dressed! Gracie and I are taking you out. She's going to be here in ten minutes, so go get dolled up.” She pulled on my arm, yanking me to my feet. I gave her my best evil glare.

“Since when do you and Gracie talk? And when do you ever go out together socially?” I asked, annoyed that my evening of sedate nothingness was being foiled.