I wasn't used to this level of negative self-talk. I had never felt so down on myself. And it disgusted me that it was all tied to a guy. Even if said guy had the face of a god and the lips made for sin. Shit! I was making myself nauseous. I mentally smacked myself in the face.

“Yeah, Olivia is really nice,” I said to Jaz, noticing how even without trying, I sounded completely sarcastic. Jaz looked at me a little funny.

“Yeah. I mean, you want to hate any girl that is able to snag a guy like Jordan. But she's so sweet. Never has a hateful thing to say about anyone. Makes me feel like a conniving slut for wanting to get down on all fours in front of her boyfriend,” Jaz giggled.

“Wow, I had no idea you were such a perv,” I joked, tossing a sugar packet at my friend. Jaz caught it and opened it up, pouring the contents into her mouth.

“Yuck! You are disgusting!” I screeched, blanching.

Jaz laughed and got to her feet. “Yeah, well let's go talk to Moore. The place has really died down and I just saw Dina and Leo come in for their shift. No sense in us staying on the clock.” I followed her into the back, where we found Moore on the phone.

“Moore. Our tables are empty and we haven't had any new customers in ten minutes. Can we leave?” Jaz whispered loudly. Moore barely looked up, waving us on. Normally I would have been stoked to cut out early but today I'd actually rather be working. Because now I had to go out to the bar and have a drink with Olivia. I'd rather slide down on my back over razorblades into a giant vat of rubbing alcohol. Okay, I was a little morbid in my metaphors, but whatever.

After saying goodbye to Jaz I headed back to the bar, and almost turned around and headed back the way that I had come. Olivia was leaning over the bar, her hand fisted in the front of Jordan's t-shirt, kissing him passionately while Milla and Tabby hooted at them.

Jordan broke away with a chuckle and Olivia sat back down, clearly a little breathless. She looked up and saw me. “Maysie! Come on chica! I've got a beer with your name on it.” Olivia waved me over. Jordan looked up as I came over. Our eyes met and he looked a little sheepish. Embarrassed even. Which was stupid. I mean he was just kissing his girlfriend. Nothing wrong with that, right? Only it didn't feel alright. It felt horrible.

“Hey,” I said quietly as I hopped up on the stool beside Olivia. Jordan looked as sick as I felt. His eyes darted between Olivia and me. I picked up my beer and held it up in a mocking salute. “Cheers,” I said coldly as I downed it in one go, never breaking eye contact with him.

He frowned but didn't say anything. “Hell yeah!” Olivia shouted, draping her arm around my shoulders in a show of affection. Olivia and I had never been close but she had always gone out of her way to be nice to the new pledges. She was a senior, as was Jordan, so we ran in different social circles. But we still got along. Which is what made this whole situation completely messed up.

“So, how's it working with our girl, Maysie?” Olivia asked Jordan. She was obviously a little buzzed. I saw Jordan swallow. His Adam's apple bobbing up and down.

“Uh, it's fine,” he answered noncommittally. I wanted to smirk at him, treat him with a cold indifference. But I didn't think I could pull it off. So instead I simply looked away, feeling uncomfortable.

Olivia had already turned to say something to Tabby and Milla, leaving me all but forgotten. Jordan had picked up my empty glass and put it in the sink behind the bar. He met my eyes again and I saw it. The simmering heat that left me panting for more. It hadn't dimmed in the slightest. Not even with his girlfriend sitting two feet away.

I broke the eye contact and joined in the conversation between my sisters, making a point to ignore the bartender who, unbeknownst to him, had stolen my heart. “I think we need to have a final party before school starts back up. I mean we only have a week and a half before classes start. Let's plan something,” Milla suggested. I nodded in agreement, not into the discussion at all but not wanting to be rude. Olivia squealed and clapped her hands.

“That's a wonderful idea! Jordan!” she called out.

Jordan looked up at her. “Yeah?” he asked from across the bar.

She crooked her finger at him. “Get your fine ass over here, baby. I want to ask you something.” She waggled her eyebrows seductively, laughing huskily. And I wanted to crawl under my stool and lay there in a fetal position.

I didn't miss the exasperated sigh Jordan let out before making his way over. “What is it Olivia? Some of us have to work, you know,” he stated a little shortly. I was surprised by his terseness but Olivia seemed oblivious to it.

“I want to have a party. So we're having it at your place. Tomorrow night. K?” She didn't ask, she told him. Was this how their relationship worked? She said it was so and he just agreed?

Jordan's mouth tightened and was clearly not pleased with her suggestion. “I have to work tomorrow night, Liv,” he said, his words clipped. Olivia waved away his objection.

“So? I can take care of it. I know Fred and Gio would help me,” she said, mentioning the Pi Sig brothers who shared the house with Jordan.

Jordan's shoulders stiffened. Olivia batted her eyelashes at him. “Please, Jordie. I promise to show my gratitude,” she teased, running her finger up his arm. Oh yuck. And what was up with calling him 'Jordie?' It made him sound like he belonged on the Jersey Shore or something. I saw Jordan glance at me quickly. He needed to stop doing that. He was being way too obvious.