But it’s not El ie. It’s Meredith.

Étienne springs off me. She turns her head away, but not before I notice that she’s crying. “Mer!” She runs away before I can say anything else. I look at Étienne, and he’s rubbing his head in disbelief.

“Shite,” he says.

“Shite is right,” Rashmi says. I’m startled to discover she and Josh are here, too.

“Meredith.” I moan. “El ie.” How could we let this happen? He has a girlfriend, and we both have a friend who is in love with him—the secret that isn’t a secret and never has been.

Étienne jumps to his feet. His shirt is covered with dried grass. And then he’s gone. He races after Meredith, shouting her name. He disappears behind

a copse of trees, and Josh and Rashmi are talking, but I don’t comprehend their words.

Did Étienne just leave me? For Meredith?

I can’t swal ow. My throat is closing. Not only have I been caught with someone I had no right to be kissing—and not only was it the greatest moment of

my life—but he’s rejecting me.

In front of everyone.

There’s a hand in front of me, and in a daze, I fol ow it to its wrist, its elbow, its skul -and-crossbones tattoo, its shoulder, its neck, its face. Josh. He grips my hand and helps me stand. My cheeks are wet, and I don’t even remember starting to cry.

Josh and Rashmi don’t speak as they steer me onto a bench. They let me blubber about how I don’t know how it happened, and I didn’t mean to hurt

anyone, and please don’t tell El ie. How I can’t believe I did that to Mer, and she’l never talk to me again, and I’m not surprised Étienne ran away because I am so, so awful. The worst.

“Anna. Anna,” Josh interrupts. “If I had a euro for every stupid thing I’ve done, I could buy the Mona Lisa. You’l be fine. You’l both be fine.”

Rashmi crosses her arms. “Your lips weren’t the only ones working out there.”

“Meredith, she’s so,” I choke. “Nice.” Again, that word. So inadequate. “How could I do that to her?”

“Yeah. She is,” Rashmi says. “And that was pretty crappy of you guys to do that just now. What were you thinking?”

“I wasn’t thinking, it just happened. I’ve ruined everything. She hates me. Étienne hates me!”

“St. Clair definitely doesn’t hate you,” Josh says.

“Though if I were Mer, I’d hate him.” Rashmi scowls. “He’s been leading her on for way too long.”

Josh is indignant. “He’s never once given her the impression that he liked her more than a friend.”

“Yeah, but he’s never discouraged her!”

“He’s been dating El ie for a year and a half.You’d think that’d be discouragement enough—oh. Sorry, Anna.”

I sob harder.

They stay with me on the bench until the sunlight dips behind the trees, and then they walk me from le jardin back to Résidence Lambert. When we

arrive, the lobby is empty. Everyone is stil out enjoying the nice weather.

“I need to talk to Mer,” I say.

“Oh, no, you don’t,” Rashmi says. “Give her time.”

I slink into my room, scolded, and pul out my key.The night I lost it, I’d just left it in my room. The Beatles thump from the wal between Mer and me, and I remember my first night here. Is “Revolution” covering the sound of her crying? I tuck the key back into my shirt and flop onto my bed. I pop up and pace my room, and then lie back down.

I don’t know what to do.

Meredith hates me. Étienne has disappeared, and I don’t know if he likes me or hates me or thinks he made a mistake or what. Should I cal him? But

what would I say? “Hi, this is Anna. The girl you made out with in the park and then ditched?You wanna hang out?” But I have to know why he left. I have to know what he thinks about me. My hand shakes as I put my phone to my ear.

Straight to voice mail. I look at my ceiling. Is he up there? I can’t tell . Mer’s music is too loud to hear footsteps, so I’l have to go up. I check my reflection.

My eyes are puffy and red, and my hair looks like an owl pel et.

Breathe. One thing at a time.

Wash your face. Brush your hair. Brush your teeth, for good measure.

Breathe again. Open door.Walk upstairs. My stomach churns as I knock on his door. No one answers. I press my ear against the drawing of him in the

Napoleon hat, trying to hear inside his room. Nothing. Where is he? Where IS he?

I go back to my floor, and John Lennon’s scratchy voice is stil blasting down the hal . My feet slow as I pass her room. I have to apologize, I don’t care what Rashmi says, but Meredith is furious when she opens her door. “Great. It’s you.”

“Mer . . . I’m so sorry.”

She gives a nasty laugh. “Yeah?You looked real y sorry with your tongue lodged down his windpipe.”

“I’m sorry.” I feel so helpless. “It just happened.”

Meredith clenches her hands, which are oddly ring-free. She’s not wearing any makeup either. In fact, she’s completely disheveled. I’ve never seen her

look anything but polished before. “How could you, Anna? How could you do this to me?”

“I ... I ...”

“You what? You knew how I felt about him! I can’t believe you!”

“I’m sorry,” I say again. “I don’t know what we were thinking—”

“Yeah, well , it doesn’t matter anyway. He’s not choosing either one of us.”

My heart stops. “What? What do you mean?”

“He chased me down.Told me he wasn’t interested.” Her face reddens. “And then he went to El ie’s. He’s there right now.”

Everything turns hazy. “He went to El ie’s?”

“Just like he always does when there’s trouble.” Her voice changes to smug. “Now how does it feel? Not so hot anymore, huh?” And then she slams her

door in my face.

El ie. He’s choosing El ie. Again.

I run to the bathroom and yank up the toilet lid. I wait to lose my lunch, but my stomach just churns, so I put the lid back down and sit on it. What’s wrong with me? Why do I always fal for the wrong guy? I didn’t want Étienne to be another Toph, but he is. Only it’s so much worse because I only liked Toph.