A Wallflower Christmas Page 39


“Sebastian” she protested, while he weighted her naked body with enough gold and rare gemstones to purchase a small country.

“Be still.” His mouth searched between strands of pearls, pausing here and there to lick and bite gently at her skin. “I’m decorating for Christmas.”

Evie smiled and shivered. “You’re not supposed to decorate me.”

“Don’t discourage my holiday spirit, darling. Now let me show you something interesting about these pearls …” And before long, her protests had faded into pleasured moans.

CHAPTER 12

Hannah!” Natalie was in bed, drinking her morning tea. A housemaid was stirring the coals and lighting the grate, giggling as if she and Natalie had just shared an irresistibly funny joke.

Having come in from a long walk outside, Hannah entered the room and smiled at her cousin fondly. “Good morning, dear. Finally awake?”

“Yes, I stayed up much too late last night.” A group of the younger guests, including Natalie, had spent the evening playing parlor games. Hannah had neither asked nor wanted to know if Rafe…for that was how she now thought of Mr. Bowman…had been among them.

In the past few days since their astonishing interaction in the parlor, Hannah had avoided Rafe as much as possible, and she had tried not to speak to him directly. She had gone on many solitary walks and had done much soul-searching, unable to comprehend why Rafe had engaged in such an intimate act with her, why she had allowed it, and what her feelings were toward him.

Although Hannah knew little about physical desire, she understood that it resonated more strongly between some people than others. She couldn’t perceive whether Rafe felt the same desire toward Natalie. It made her miserable to contemplate it. But she felt certain he had not made that kind of advance to Natalie, at least not yet, or Natalie would have told her.

Above all, she understood that ultimately none of this mattered. For a man in Rafe’s position, feelings of desire and attachment would make no difference regarding the course he would take. When he married Natalie, he would no longer be the black sheep of the family. In one fell swoop he would please his father, secure his rightful position, and garner a large fortune.

If he chose someone else, he would lose everything.

A woman who cared about him would never ask him to make such a choice.

That afternoon when Hannah had picked herself up from the library floor and painstakingly restored her clothing, she had acknowledged that she was falling in love with him, and the more she knew of him, the deeper the feelings cut. She had retrieved the little toy soldier, and she carried it in her pocket, a small and private weight. It was her token nowshe would not offer it to Rafe again. In the future she would be able to close the piece in her hand and remember the dashing American scoundrel and the attraction that had exploded in a passion she would never forget.

I’m a woman with a past now, she thought, amused and wistful.

Regarding Samuel Clark and his proposal…Rafe had been right. She did not love him. It would be unfair to Clark if she married him and forever compared him to someone else. Therefore Hannah resolved to write to Clark soon and turn down his offer of marriage, much as she was tempted by the safety of it.

Natalie’s merry voice recalled her from her thoughts. “Hannah! Hannah, are you listening? I have something delicious to tell you…a few minutes ago, Polly brought the most astonishing little note” Natalie waved a scorched and half-crumpled bit of parchment in front of her. “You’ll blush when you read it. You’ll faint.”

“What is it?” Hannah asked, slowly approaching the bedside.

The young dark-haired housemaid, Polly, answered sheepishly. “Well, miss, it’s part of my chores to polish the grates and clean the hearths in the bachelor’s house behind the manor”

“That’s where Mr. Bowman is staying,” Natalie interjected.

“and after Mr. Bowman left this morning, I went to the hearth, and while I was sweeping out the ashes, I saw a bit of paper with writing on it. So I picked it up, and when I saw it was a love letter, I knew it was for Lady Natalie.”

“Why did you assume that?” Hannah asked, nettled that Rafe’s privacy should have been invaded in such a way.

“Because he’s courting me,” Natalie said, rolling her eyes, “and everyone knows it.”

Hannah turned an unsmiling gaze to the housemaid, whose excitement had dimmed in the face of her disapproval. “You shouldn’t snoop through the guests’ things, Polly,” she said gently.

“But it was in the hearth, half burnt,” the maid protested, flushing. “He didn’t want it. And I saw the words and thought it might be important.”

“Either you thought it was rubbish, or you thought it was important. Which was it?”

“Am I going to get in trouble?” Polly whispered, turning a beseeching gaze to Natalie.

“No, of course not,” Natalie said impatiently. “Now Hannah, don’t turn all schoolma’amish. You’re missing the point entirely, which is that this is a love letter from Mr. Bowman to me. And it’s a rather dirty-minded and odd letterI’ve never received anything like it before, and it’s very entertaining and” She broke off with a gasp of laughter as Hannah snatched it from her.

The letter had been crumpled up and tossed onto the grate. It had burned all around the edges, so the names at the top and bottom had gone up in smoke. But there was enough of the bold black scrawl to reveal that it had indeed been a love letter. And as Hannah read the singed and half-destroyed parchment, she was forced to turn away to hide the trembling of her hand.

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