“Thank you,” she said, sitting next to him and letting the spray fill her lungs. “But I need to decide for myself too.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

She didn’t want to talk to Baojia about her reservations toward Lucien because most of them involved sex, her confusing feelings about their relationship before her change, and her illogical hunger for him. But who else was she going to consult with? Her contact with her sisters was limited—she didn’t know what she’d say to them anyway—and Natalie was human too.

Why weren’t there any female vampires at the compound? The thought brought an irrational spike of anger.

“Why aren’t there any vampire women here?” she asked. “Do you and Lucien have a problem working with women?”

Baojia raised an eyebrow but only said, “No. My top lieutenant in San Francisco is a woman, and in case you didn’t realize it, so is my boss.”

Makeda forced herself to relax. She was being unreasonable, reacting before she thought. A majority of the human staff at the lab were female. It was likely the lack of immortal women was purely chance.

“But…” Baojia looked thoughtful. “Lucien may. I don’t know. He’s a lot older than me.”

“You think the son of the most powerful vampire in the world—who is a woman—has a problem working with women?”

“Not working with them,” Baojia said. “But if I’m reading you correctly when he’s around, you’re attracted to him, and I don’t believe he takes vampire lovers as a rule. Is that what’s bothering you about accepting his offer of protection? Because we both know that rationally he’s the better choice.”

Well, it looked like she’d be confiding in Baojia after all. “I’m very… aware of him. I don’t like it.”

“It could be purely chance,” Baojia said. “He is a male of no blood relation who is in close physical proximity, and your body is still coming into balance. Immediately after my turning, my sex drive was very high. I took a number of lovers, all of them immortal.” His voice softened a little. “It was not emotional in the sense of attachment, but they understood the heightened senses. One of them is still a very good friend. It could be the same with Lucien.”

It was likely Baojia was right and this vicious pull she felt toward Lucien was simply the product of her physical transformation and her mind’s ongoing attempts to reorganize itself.

“However,” he continued, “I do think you have to acknowledge that before your turning, you and Lucien were drawn to each other. You were antagonists, but that is still an emotional relationship. I don’t think you should discount that.”

He was right. Hate was not the opposite of love. That was indifference. And she and Lucien had never been indifferent toward each other.

“And you don’t seem to have this problem with any of the other staff. Ruben guards you most nights when I’m not with you, and as far as I know—”

“Oh my gosh, Baojia, Ruben is like… my brother or something.”

“Well, that’s another thing you shouldn’t discount.”

“I won’t discount anything.” Makeda watched as the waves crept up the rock, fascinated by the small eddies and currents created by the grooves and dips worn by time and erosion. A small pebble spun around a pocket worn into the rock, smoothing it on a microscopic level as she watched. Given enough time and water, that small pebble could wear a hole in the massive boulder where she sat. That tiny pebble would be joined by others. A crab could take up residence. Anemones could find shelter.

“Amazing, isn’t it?” Baojia said. “The places where earth and water meet can often be the most violent.” He lifted a tiny starfish from a crevice in the rock. “But the most delicate things can thrive within that violence. Some can only thrive there.”

Water meeting rock. Could she and Lucien’s relationship be a simple reflection of that dichotomy? Him, the immovable object, and her, the force of change? Or was he the volcano and she the cooling sea? There were no easy answers to what their relationship was or what it might become should she choose his aegis. But she knew choosing his protection was the far wiser choice. For herself and her family.

“I know what I need to do,” she said quietly. The weight of reason had never felt so heavy before. “Will you speak to him?”

Baojia reached over and closed his hand over hers. “I will always be here. No matter what.”

“You’re a good friend,” Makeda said. “And a good sire.”

“He’ll take you away.”

“I know. It’s probably for the best right now.” Not being able to see her family and friends was agonizing.

“I wish I could come with you, but I can’t.”

She patted his hand and finally felt a hint of mischief as the burden of decision lifted from her.

“I know. Thanks anyway… Dad.”

“Okay, now you’re just being weird.”

Makeda woke to a low light and the quiet drone of the cargo plane. Lucien hadn’t told her where they were going, but hopefully it was someplace with far fewer humans and far less temptation.

Lucien was sitting in a corner of the plane, reading a stack of papers and taking notes.

“What are you reading?” she asked.

She had no need to clear her throat. Biological processes appeared to stop during vampire sleep, which meant mucous production and its resulting hoarseness did as well. She wondered why Lucien and Baojia were so insistent she drink half her ration of blood before she went to sleep. Perhaps it had something to do with cell repair.