She could hear Carlos’s voice carry down the hall as he spoke with someone passing by her door. He was everything she’d ever wanted, and he always did what she’d asked him to do. He’d loved her. He’d married her. The agreement was that she’d support them so he could go to school and get a good job. Carlos did just that. And she must have told him to walk away, because he wasn’t the kind of man to walk away without being pushed. And now he was marrying someone else because she’d asked him to move on.

Madeline pressed her hand to her flat chest. As it was, even if she won the battle against the disease that wanted to kill her, she’d still never win back the love of her life.

Madeline ambled up the front steps of Alan and Emily Keller’s house. She couldn’t remember a time she’d been more nervous. Even the day she’d gone to the doctor’s office to confirm that she had cancer, she wasn’t as jittery.

She blew out a breath. There was no reason for her to be uncomfortable. Not a day had passed since she was fifteen years old that the Kellers hadn’t been completely accepting of her. She’d turned down dinner invitations every month for five years. She’d been surrounded by Emily, Regan, and Arianna at every social event for her children for those same five years. She was at the fiftieth wedding anniversary party for Alan and Emily. When Zach’s father died, she and the kids were at the funeral and reception to help. She helped Arianna host Regan’s baby shower. She even made a trip with Matt to New York to see Arianna perform more than once. This was as much her family as her children were.

So why was she so tied up in knots?

In her closet she’d found a hat she’d bought for Regan’s wedding. She hadn’t worn it then, but it looked casual enough she figured she’d get away with wearing it to Sunday dinner. Only that morning she’d taken a mirror and looked at the back of her head. Her hair looked horrible. It was time to consider doing something about it. She tugged the hat down more snugly.

When the door opened, Clara greeted her.

“Mommy!” She clung to her and Madeline laughed.

“I dropped you off at your dad’s house yesterday. It’s only been eighteen hours since you’ve seen me.”

“I know.” Clara smiled up at her. “I just missed you.”

All of the knots in her muscles relaxed; she was at home with her children here. “I missed you too.”

Clara walked her through the front door by the hand and back to the family room where everyone had gathered around the television.

“Super Bowl,” Clara whispered.

“I had completely forgotten,” Madeline whispered back.

A roar erupted from everyone in the room when the team they’d been rooting for missed the field goal.

“Damn! When am I going to pick a team that has a chance?” Alan sat back in his recliner and looked up, noticing her first. His eyes lit up, and he struggled from his chair to be the first to greet her. “Well, look who graces our presence again.”

“Alan, how are you?”

“I’m old.” He kissed her cheek and then looked her directly in the eye. “How are you?”

“I’m going to be just fine.”

“I know you are.” He patted her cheek and stepped back as her sons gathered around her. Each member of the family kissed her and gave her a hug. Regan held her tightly, and Madeline could feel her body shake from tears.

“Don’t be sad for me,” Madeline spoke softly in her ear.

“I can’t help it. I didn’t know you were sick, and I really think I should have been there for you.”

“You have a new person to think about. Tyler needs you more than I do.” She kissed Regan on the cheek. “Thank you for worrying though.”

Regan stepped back and wiped her eyes. “I’m overly emotional lately.”

“It’s lack of sleep. I remember it well.”

“All he does is eat. I never sleep anymore.”

“It won’t be forever and you’ll miss it.” She looked around the room at her nearly grown children. Regan would soon look back on it and wonder where the time had gone.

“That’s what everyone keeps telling me.”

“Hello, Madeline.” The soft female voice came from the direction of the kitchen, and Madeline looked up to see Kathy standing only a few feet away with a tight smile directed toward her.

“Hello, Kathy,” she said returning the smile, realizing they were both incredibly uncomfortable in each other’s presence.

Madeline had met her a few times. Kathy had been there for Regan’s baby shower, the first Keller family event Kathy had attended. It had only been four months earlier, but to Madeline it seemed like a lifetime ago. Back then, she was pleased to meet Kathy. Her heart had been full of optimism for Carlos. She’d been happy for him.

Now as she stood before the small blonde with her thick, full hair and her full chest. She envied her—not so much for the beauty she possessed and Madeline had lost, but because Carlos loved her.

Kathy took a hesitant step toward her. “I’m glad Carlos convinced you to come.”

“I wasn’t sure I should.”

“You’re part of the family,” Kathy reminded her.

“Thank you.”

It was then she realized she hadn’t seen Carlos. She glanced toward the living room, but he wasn’t there. Her face must have shown her thoughts.

“He ran to the store to get some more milk.”

Madeline nodded. Regan moved by her with Tyler in her arms.

“I thought you could use this.” She lifted her son toward Madeline, who took the baby and cradled him close to her empty chest. The warmth from his body filled her. The scent of baby lotion filled her nose and calmed her nerves.

“You have no idea.”

Carlos pushed through the back door, bags of groceries slipping from his fingers.

Kathy raced toward him and grabbed a bag before it could fall. “What did you get?”

“I couldn’t help it. They had ice cream on sale.” He grinned.

“You are no help to my waistline.” She kissed him on the lips and helped Emily unload the bags. “She’s in the other room,” Kathy said quietly as she tilted her head toward Carlos.

“Really?” A surge of mixed emotions ran though him. He was happy. He’d wanted her to be there more than he could have admitted, but even though Kathy was smiling, the sadness in her eyes burned him. How could he have such contrasting emotions?