Jenna was attending New York University, on the literal opposite side of the country from me, and the more we talked about professors and campus dining, the more I missed her. It was the first time we’d been apart since we were toddlers, and I was still having a hard time building a friendship with my roommates. I had three of them, one a volleyball player here on scholarship from Virginia, one an animal-rights’ activist from northern California, and the other a soft-spoken Christian from Kansas. None of us had found much common ground to walk on yet, but I was trying to be hopeful.

“When can I come visit you? I miss the beach already,” Jenna said with a longing sigh.

“My twin bed is yours to cuddle in anytime you want it.”

“I’m serious, I’m going to just pop up on your doorstep one day.”

I smiled. “And it’d be the best day ever.”

After our phone call, I shot off an email to Mom with details on how classes were going. Our schedules hardly ever lined up enough for phone calls, but we had been emailing pretty steadily. Interestingly enough, our relationship had grown stronger during my last year of high school. Part of that might have been me disconnecting my father from my life completely while the other part was likely from me finally forgiving her for my name. I wasn’t ready to embrace it again just yet, but after many late-night talks, I understood her motives. My mom had been a young, scared teenager when I was placed in her arms. And though I was born out of a tragedy, she found beauty in me, and she’d given up so much for me to chase my dreams.

I earned a few scholarships that helped get me to California, but I had still fallen short of what I needed. That was, until I found out Mom had been saving for my college fund religiously since I was born. Dad didn’t have anything to offer me, other than a pat on the back at graduation, and I hadn’t spoken to him since.

It hurt letting go of my dad, because for so long I’d lived in that space in-between, where I wasn’t sure how to feel about him or what he did to my mom. But even in that space, we’d grown apart, and I didn’t want the good memories I had with my dad to be replaced by awkward, tension-filled ones. So, I decided after graduation to just let him go. He’d only called once since then and I ignored it. Maybe we could reconnect later, but right now, I was content focusing on me for a while.

I’d just picked up my flashcards again when my bedroom door swung open.

“Ethan’s here,” Marie said without looking up from her phone. She was the animal-rights’ activist and the one I thought I’d get along with the easiest. I mean, I was getting a minor in Women’s Studies, embracing my feminist side, and she was trying to save kittens. We were a match made in heaven, right? Except she hadn’t said more than thirteen words to me. Including the two she’d just used to introduce my boyfriend.

“Hey, beautiful,” he crooned as he let himself into my room, closing the door behind him.

I smiled as he leaned down to kiss me, running my hands up his arms to hook around his neck. Ethan was strong, built, not much taller than me but so solid. His skin was the same as my mom’s, dark and smooth, and he had full lips that I loved to kiss. He also had what I liked to call a “News Anchor Smile”, blinding white, almost too wide and genuine for comfort.

We met the summer after I graduated high school when he was in Florida for an internship, after he spent a night at a Palm South University party sweeping me off my feet with cheesy pick up lines and random fruit facts. I shit you not, the man wooed me with mango and nectarine trivia. He kind of tasted like nectarines, actually — a tangy sort of sweetness.

“Please tell me you’re almost done studying,” he sang into my neck, still holding me close.

“I’m almost done studying.”

“Yes!” he celebrated, pulling back to face me but keeping his arms around my waist. “We’re going to a beach house party tonight.”

“We are, are we?”

He nodded. “We are. It’s casual, there’s a pool and stuff, so just dress in a bathing suit and cover-up or whatever. I can pick you up and we can ride together.”

I chewed my lip. “I don’t know, Ethan. I may be almost done studying, but I still have that paper to write before Monday.”

“And? Come on, it’s Thursday, and I happen to know you don’t have classes on Friday, and you don’t work this weekend,” he pointed out. I couldn’t argue that. I’d picked up a job at the coffee house and bookstore on campus, but I’d requested the weekend off to write my paper and get in some last minute studying. “So take tonight to have fun with your sexy, eager-to-party boyfriend and then you can work the rest of the weekend and I won’t bother you. Promise.”

He puckered out his lower lip and batted his eyelashes over dark midnight eyes. I just laughed.

“Fine.”

“I win!”

I swatted at his arm but he caught my hand, placing a kiss on the back of it. Ethan was always sweet that way. He touched me gently, whispered sweet nothings into my ear, always called me names like “beautiful” and “gorgeous.”

“What time should I be ready?”

“Let’s say around six. Jamie will be there, too, so you’ll have both of us. And this is the perfect chance for you to get to know more people.”

I swallowed, my pulse racing at the mention of Jamie. You’ll have both of us. Now that was a fantasy I could get behind.

“Sounds good.”

He smiled, pecking me once more before letting me loose. “See you tonight.”

Ethan let himself out and I plopped down at my desk, staring at my flashcards for fifteen seconds before giving up and packing them away. I grabbed the key to unlock my bike, the only transportation I’d brought to California after my car pooped out senior year, and made my way to the bike racks. I had about four hours before Ethan would be back to pick me up, and I had some shopping to do. The only bathing suit I brought was my old black top and two mismatching bottoms from high school, and neither would do for the party.

It might have been the wrong person to be thinking about in that moment, but I couldn’t stop obsessing over how Jamie had been ignoring me. If he was going to keep with that plan, I was going to do everything I had in my power to make it damn hard to follow through with.

I WAS READY EARLY, which was surprising for me, and I tried chalking it up to eagerness to see Ethan and not nervousness to see Jamie. The truth was probably somewhere right in-between. I pushed all thoughts to the back of my mind as I checked my outfit in the one mirror in our dorm. It was a shared mirror, laid out in front of two sinks between our two showers and it cut off at my knees, but it was enough.