You fell for it.

This wasn’t love.

Now you know.

I wiped my tears as each insecurity I’d ever felt dug a hole into my heart.

I floored the accelerator, wanting nothing more than to escape. I had to leave, get out of California. There was nothing for me here.

The gate leading out of the compound clanked shut behind another departing SUV. I was less than a few car lengths behind and had to stomp on the brakes to avoid colliding against the wrought iron bars.

The were guard made no effort to part the gates. Instead he stepped out of his tower and knocked on my window. I lowered it, still on edge and desperate to leave.

He looked down at me like I was something foul and beneath him, disdain deepening his scowl. “Aric says you’re not to leave. He’s coming.”

I slipped out of the car, ready to jump the gate if I had to. “I’m not your hostage. Open the gate.”

“And I’m not one of your bloodsucking pussies you can order around. If the boss says you stay, you stay, freak!”

It wasn’t enough to be rude. Or call me names. Or insult my allies. He poked me hard in the chest to emphasize that he was bigger, stronger, tougher.

His mistake.

I glanced at his beefy finger just once before I grabbed it and twisted it. Bone crunched as I shifted him into the ground up to his neck. I ignored his snarls and stepped into his tower long enough to punch the button to open the gate.

“Who’s the pussy now?” I hissed as I passed him, sticking one of my fingers out of the window.

I was turning onto the dirt path that led down the mountain when a fast-moving object thundering through the woods caught my eye. It was the same something that ran out in front of me. I slammed down on my brakes.

Mud splattered up like a wave, drenching my front windshield. I hit the wipers to find Aric panting back at me with furrowed brows. He must have run full-out to catch me. I was panting, too, from the sheer terror of almost mowing him over.

Kill him.

My head whipped to the side.

Kill him!

I turned, expecting someone to be there behind me.

Kill. Him!

I gripped the wheel. What was happening? That was my voice ordering me. My freaking voice.

Kill him now!

Aric swore, trying to clear his eyes of the mud caking his face. He couldn’t see anything. He was vulnerable.

He deserves to die!

“No!” I roared.

Something ripped from my chest so hard, its sheer force left me momentarily paralyzed. I slumped into the seat, breathing hard.

Aric swore again, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. He blinked back at me, trying to clear his vision, then walked around to the passenger side.

I stared blankly ahead, confused. What just happened? I couldn’t remember anything. I didn’t know what day it was, or the time. I’d come with lunch for Aric. I made soup and bread. Why was I driving away? Did we already eat?

Aric reached for the handle, trying to open the door, but the sound seemed to come from far away.

My mind tried to force its way through the fog, showing me flickers of the day.

“Celia, open the door,” Aric said.

His voice was closer, but still further than it should have been. I was mad at him, right? I had fought two weres… the ones who wanted to sleep with him.

Aric tapped on the window. “Celia, please, love. We’ve spent too much time apart. I don’t want to spend the time we have now fighting.”

Wasn’t I just speaking to Makawee?

I couldn’t remember. I only remember the females, and Aric denying he’d been with them.

He’d denied it, right?

Aric knocked again. “Celia, please. Let’s talk.”

I glanced around the cabin, so confused I could barely find the switch to unlock the door.

Yeah. There were two weres and a club devoted to getting him in bed.

He should have told me.

Aric climbed in and angled his body to face me. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I never meant to hurt you.”

When I didn’t answer, he realized I needed a moment. He removed his shirt, keeping his eyes on me as he used the clean side to wipe the mud coating his hair, face, and arms. “I’m sorry,” he said again.

“You should have told me,” I said aloud, my voice thick with tears. “To see them there waiting for you, knowing what they wanted, their bodies barely covered.” I sniffed. “That was a horrible way to find out.”

“I didn’t sleep with Lindsey or Dara, Celia. I swear it.”

“What about the rest?” He opened his mouth to object, but then shut it quickly when something or someone triggered his memory. I smacked my palm against the steering wheel, bending it slightly. “Damnit. How many of them did you sleep with?”

Aric rubbed his eyes. “Celia, don’t do this.”

My face flushed with my growing anger. “Don’t do what? Have an honest conversation with you? Just tell me. What’s the magic number? How many of these goddamn bitches have you screwed?” My breath caught. I wasn’t a perfect person. I did curse, but I wasn’t what most would have considered crass. Nor was I in the habit of yelling at Aric.

My heart slowed to a painful thump. What’s wrong with me?

I tried to settle my tigress, but when I reached in to feel her, I barely registered her presence. She wasn’t the one riled.

It was all me.

Aric turned from me to stare straight ahead. “I don’t want to do this with you, but I won’t lie to you. If you want to know, I’ll tell you.”

The truth was, I didn’t want to know. I knew Aric had slept with a lot of girls before I came along. When he committed to me, I told myself that it didn’t matter. If that was the case, why did I need to know now? “Just tell me.”

He sighed. “The truth is, I don’t know.”

My lips parted. “How can you not know? Have there been that many?”

Aric met my stare. “Yes,” he answered quietly.

Nausea claimed my belly, but it wasn’t his fault. It was mine for asking.

Aric reached for my hand, taking it carefully within his grasp.

Neither of us spoke for several minutes. And it really sucked.

The longer he held my hand, the more I wanted to tell him I was sorry for asking, for freaking out, and for embarrassing him in front of his peers. My behavior seemed so ridiculous and out of character. He couldn’t change his past any more than I could.