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He gathered her hands in his and gave them a squeeze, undaunted by her continued silence. “I know you, El. You love the excitement of court, being surrounded by educated, accomplished people, the bustle of the cities and big castles, and all the luxuries of wealth because you know what it is like to be without them. Can you see MacGowan at a salon in Paris or sitting at the king’s table during a feast in one of the royal castles? He doesn’t even speak the same language.” French was the language of the nobles. “Being tucked away in a small village somewhere will kill you. Is that what you want?” He let the question linger for a moment. “Randolph will give you everything you’ve ever dreamed of. Do you really want to risk that for an uncertain future with MacGowan?”

  The picture he painted had tapped into her darkest fears. Could she be happy like that? Would his love be enough?

  It might . . .

  Perhaps sensing her hesitation, Jamie dove in for the kill. He wielded the one blade that focused everything into sharp reality. “What about children, El? What kind of life would you want for them?”

  Children? Elizabeth stared at him in horror. She hadn’t thought about children.

  Or maybe she hadn’t wanted to think about them.

  All of a sudden she felt ill. Jamie’s question unknowingly evoked painful memories. Memories of those dark days when no one would help them.

  It must have been so difficult for her stepmother, alone with three children to protect—two of them barely more than babes—but she’d hid it so well. The formidable Lady Eleanor, who throughout their difficulties had never showed a hint of fear or vulnerability, had seemed the strongest person Elizabeth knew.

  But even her seemingly indestructible stepmother had been broken by Hugh’s cries of hunger. Elizabeth would never forget seeing Lady Eleanor’s tears and worse, her helplessness and fear in the face of her baby’s empty stomach. She’d given up, and were it not for the bag of coins provided by the abbess that took them to her uncle at Bonkyl, they would have ended up in an almshouse.

  A baby. Children. How could Elizabeth best protect them? What duty did she have to them?

  She looked up at Jamie wordlessly, her heart feeling as if it was being squeezed in a vise. Tears shimmered in her eyes, but there had only ever been one answer.

  21

  THE NEXT DAY when Randolph came to her with his proposal, Elizabeth accepted. The stark contrast between Thom’s heartfelt offer and Randolph’s businesslike one perhaps made it easier to bear. There was no confusion; she knew exactly what she was doing. This wasn’t romance, this was duty, security, and advancement. The things she’d always wanted.

  Jamie had sent for her just before the midday meal. He was in the abbot’s private solar with Randolph, but as soon as she arrived, he left.

  After offering her a seat on a bench, Randolph began in a formal, no-nonsense tone she’d never heard from him before. “Lady Elizabeth, I am sure it comes as no surprise that your brother and I have been discussing the possibility of an alliance between our families. As you know, my uncle has bestowed many new lands on me of late, and it is well past time that I had a wife to help me run them and to sit beside me at the high table.” He gave her a small smile, as if the concession to the impending doom of his bachelorhood should please her. “Your brother assures me that you have been trained well in your duties, and everything that I have seen bears this out. You are undoubtedly the most beautiful woman at court, charming, and will be an asset to my career and future. I can think of no reason why we will not suit.” She frowned. Had he been looking for one? “With your brother poised to hold much of southern Scotland, and my holdings in the north and midlands, the connection between our families will create a formidable alliance. Your brother has provided a generous tocher, with which I am very pleased. Indeed, all the important details in the betrothal contract have been worked out.”

  All the important details but one, she thought wryly. Namely the minor little matter of her agreement. But why shouldn’t he take that for granted? Only a fool would refuse him, and he knew it.

  “If you are amenable,” he continued, “we can sign the betrothal contract tomorrow.”

  Amenable? For all of the gallantry and emotion in Randolph’s proposal, he might have been discussing the sale of cattle at market. Coming from one of Scotland’s most renowned knights, a man known for his courtly graces and chivalry, the proposal was almost ridiculously unromantic. Shouldn’t he be dropping down on one knee and spouting allusions to the heavens and her beauty?

  Unable to resist, she found herself asking, “And what am I to receive in this bargain, my lord?”

  She was mostly teasing, but he answered matter-of-factly, clearly appreciating her businesslike attitude. “You will become one of the wealthiest women in the kingdom, and gain a royal connection—as will your children. You will be chatelaine of five castles—at current count—and act in my stead when I am away. You will receive five hundred merks as part of your terce on our marriage, and on my death, you will receive the rest: one-third of our property at that time.”

  Elizabeth was glad she was sitting or she might have slid to the floor. All thoughts of teasing fled. She stared at Randolph in white-faced shock. Five hundred merks was a small fortune, and one-third of their property? It was the maximum a widow might be provided, and well beyond what she could have anticipated given his vast wealth. Whether Randolph was alive or dead, she would be a very wealthy woman.

  She had what she wanted: her future and that of her children’s was secure.

  Seeing her expression, he gave her a wry smile. “Aye, your brother was a tough negotiator. He made sure you were well provided for—no matter what happens.”

  “I don’t know what to say,” she said, still reeling.

  “Yes seems somehow fitting,” he said with another half smile.

  She stared up at him, the simple word sticking in her throat. She thought of Thom as she’d last seen him working at the forge, a little sweaty, face streaked with soot, wearing a simple leather apron and breeches, and more sinfully attractive than any man had a right to be. She thought of his expression as he’d cradled her face in his hand, and the way her chest had swelled until her dress felt too tight. She thought of his mouth on hers as he’d kissed her, and how her body had melted against his as if they belonged together.

  I love you. I will always love you.

  She pushed the memories away, reminding herself as she’d told Jo not so long ago that she wasn’t a romantic. Love alone wasn’t reason enough to marry. Duty, security, family, power, and alliances—those were what was important. She’d always seen the bigger picture. People like her just didn’t marry whomever they wanted. Her marriage had to have a purpose, and personal happiness wasn’t it.

  Taking a deep breath, she looked up to face Randolph. “Yes. What else can I say, but yes.”

  If he noticed the odd wording of her response, he gave no indication. He nodded. “I will inform your brother. He will be pleased. I know he is anxious to have this matter settled.”

  Elizabeth was sure Jamie was. But what of Randolph, was he pleased?

  She couldn’t tell from his expression—which seemed unusually unreadable—but she thought he must have something else on his mind. The siege perhaps?

  With the matter decided there was nothing left to do but celebrate. The betrothal was announced at the midday meal to a resounding cheer and a steady stream of congratulations from the well-wishers who passed by the high table throughout the meal.

  If the mood seemed a little subdued, Elizabeth attributed it to the season. There were only so many toasts that could be raised before the abbot during Lent—not that the king and James were letting it stop them. They, and many of the men from Randolph’s retinue, seemed intent on extending the celebration well into the evening.

  Sitting at the high table between the king and her soon-to-be husband, Elizabeth plastered a brilliant smile on her face and did her best to appear as she should: happy, excited, and honored by h