Oh. My. God.

As soon as his hot mouth surrounded my sensitive skin, I moaned uncontrollably. Each flick of his tongue mixed with the pressure of his fingers inside me in a deadly dance. My moans turned to screams, and though I gripped the sheets and tried to hold on, I flew off the edge, losing every ounce of balance left in my already unsteady world.

It was like a wave, slow and steady at first and then crashing down on me all at once. I was drowning, suffocating, fighting for air as the electric current ripped through me. I didn’t just scream Rhodes’ name, I moaned it, and cried it, and offered it up to the gods as an excuse for the sin I knew I’d never let go.

When the sensation passed, my legs fell lax against the sheets and I closed my eyes tight. I had no idea what I sounded like to Rhodes, but my cheeks blushed from embarrassment the moment the unbridled passion faded. He kissed up my body slowly, taking his time, leaving no inch of skin to feel jealous of another. When his lips found mine again, he kissed me slower, softer, and his eyes were open, fixed on mine.

“That was incredibly sexy.”

I shook my head. “That, I, I’ve never, I don’t—” Words were lost. I was lost.

Rhodes’s eyes widened and he pulled back, propping himself up on one elbow. “Wait,” he said the word tentatively, brushing a strand of my fallen hair from my face. “Was that your first orgasm?”

“Is that what that was?!” He laughed a little at my reaction and I blushed harder, covering my face with the sheets. “I thought I’d had one before. I thought I knew what it felt like. But that…”

“That… what? Say what you want to say, Bug.”

Dropping the sheets, I leaned up to mirror his position. “That was the hottest thing I’ve ever experienced.”

Rhodes grinned, slowly dragging his teeth over the tender, swollen flesh of his bottom lip. Sliding his hand up my neck until his thumb brushed my jaw, his smile faded. “You’re the first girl I’ve ever wanted to take my time with,” he whispered, shaking his head. “But then again, I feel like I’m racing against time. Like I only have so long to touch you.”

I covered his hand resting on my cheek with my own, leaning into him. I didn’t know what to say, because as much as I wanted to tell him he had all the time in the world, he was somewhat right about what he said earlier. I did feel what he felt — like what we had was fleeting.

A soft smile found his lips again when I didn’t answer. “That was nothing, by the way. You have no idea, Natalie.”

And maybe I didn’t.

But I couldn’t wait to find out.

So that’s how it was.

Rhodes trained me like normal, and he never touched me inappropriately in the gym. We were client and trainer, behaved and natural. He pushed me harder, and I fought him less. He smiled more, which made me do the same.

Rhodes loved to touch me when we weren’t in the gym.

He brought me pleasure in ways I’d never experienced before, yet we still hadn’t gone all the way. In fact, I had yet to give him a release, which bothered me. When I would try, he would tell me to wait. For what, I didn’t know. But, I didn’t argue — the truth was, I enjoyed his attention. We were practically inseparable, and I was learning more about him every day. He was even opening up about his sister, though those conversations were few and far between. When he let that part of him be seen—when he opened himself to me — those were the times I loved the most.

With Mason, sex was always rushed. It was sloppy and purposeful — we went until he grunted out a release and collapsed on top of me. I thought that’s all sex was, but before Rhodes had even touched me — when he had only heated me with his gaze — I knew there was more.

And God, did Rhodes show me more.

I lost the desire to talk to Mason at all. After the way he let me down at the fair, I wasn’t even sure who he was anymore. And the more attention I got from Rhodes, the less I cared about the lack of attention I was getting from Mason. Soon, his texts became fewer and fewer, he gave up trying to get me to talk to him, and I fell easily into my new reality with Rhodes.

But every now and then, Rhodes would slip into the same person I met at the beginning of the summer. He would shut down, block me out, or be evasive. Sometimes, he would have to leave my house to “go somewhere” or “do something”, but he never told me what. I questioned him a few times, but he would always change the subject or tell me not to worry, which in turn only made me worry more. I didn’t want to suspect another woman, not with the way he looked at me, but that’s where my mind immediately went. Sometimes I could talk myself out of it, but then my mind would go to even darker places. Because if it wasn’t another woman, what exactly was it? Mostly, I just felt this uncertainty deep in my stomach. Something was off, but he wasn’t telling me what.

It was just over a week later at our Sunday weigh-in session that I knew I was losing him again.

“Oh no...” I stared at the number on the large glass scale in Rhodes’ training office, the same one I’d seen the Sunday before, and I felt my stomach sink. This was it, I’d hit my limit. I was failing.

“It happens, Bug,” Rhodes said, but he seemed distracted as he scribbled something on my file. “We’ll switch up your diet and cardio, see if that helps and go from there.”

“What if it doesn’t work?”

Rhodes pursed his lips, shaking his head slightly. “Then we’ll figure it out.”

“How are you so sure?”

“Because I know what I’m doing. I’ve trained hundreds of women. This happens to everyone. It’s called a plateau.”

I flinched when he mentioned how many women he’d trained, because we both knew what usually went with that. I shuddered once more when I realized that, technically, I was one of them.

But that was a lie.

Because I knew, deep down, that I was more to him. Or maybe I just wanted to know that. I longed for that reassurance. That was what both terrified me and gave me hope at the same time. Rhodes wasn’t an easy break. I knew there was more of him to discover. But just like he didn’t treat me like any of the other women in his life, I was determined to help him find his own value. He looked at me as if I were an investment — something he believed in — and I saw him in the same light.

“I feel like I’m failing.”