“What do you think is going on, then, Quain?” Kerrick asked.

“Don’t you pull that stunt on me. I’m not Flea.”

“How can you be so smart and so dumb at the same time?” Loren asked him.

Quain hopped to his feet and loomed over Loren as if he wanted to punch him. Unfazed, Loren peered up at him in amusement.

Belen chuckled. “He found all the pieces, but can’t put them together.”

Quain whirled on him, clearly upset.

“Avry isn’t the only one here gifted with magic,” Belen said.

Understanding dawned. The furrows in Quain’s brow and bald head smoothed. “I’m such an idiot.”

“Can I quote you?” Loren asked.

Quain tackled him and they wrestled, rolling on the ground.

Kerrick peered at his friend. “How long?”

“Since you were sixteen. Loren and Flea didn’t figure it out until Avry came along and made things…interesting.”

“Hey,” I said, pretending to be affronted. “If you don’t want interesting, I can leave,” I teased.

However, his response was dead serious. “But would you? If I sat on Kerrick and let you go, would you?”

“I gave my word.”

“Under duress. I’m offering you the chance to walk away. Would you take it?”

The monkeys stopped wrestling. Everyone’s attention focused on me, burning into my skin.

Belen wouldn’t shut up. “I watched them arrest you back in Jaxton. You didn’t resist or try to get away. Not the Avry I’ve come to know.”

“What do want me to say?” I whispered.

“Do you want to leave?” Belen asked.

Don’t do this to me.

“Do you want to leave?” he asked again.

Conflicted emotions knotted in my throat. I wished to go back and make amends with my sister, but I didn’t want to leave the guys, either. They had become my family.

“The truth, Avry.”

“No. Pathetic, isn’t it?” Unable to meet anyone’s gaze, I stumbled out into the snow.

Breathing in deep lungfuls of damp air, I kept close to the cave’s entrance. Storm clouds blocked the moon, and a silent blackness surrounded the area. Snowflakes struck my face with tiny pricks of cold. While I wished to put distance between me and the others, I knew I’d just get lost in the darkness.

Although, I already felt lost. Perhaps confused was a better word. Belen forced me to admit I had a reason for living. Since I’d been with them, I’d healed people, found my sister and made a friend. As I gained more incentives to live, I also learned more about the uncertain future of our world. It would be so much easier to agree to heal Ryne if I had nothing to lose.

Belen’s heart was in the right place. He didn’t know the consequences if I healed Ryne. If he had, it would tear him apart. I was sure that’s why Kerrick hadn’t told him, and I wouldn’t, either. However, I’d made the mistake of getting too attached to them. I needed to keep my distance. To stay uninvolved.

No one said a word when I returned to the cave. I brushed the snow from my hair and cloak, then set up my bedroll. Pulling my blanket up to my chin, I vowed to keep my emotions in check. To keep my distance from everyone. To gather as much information about Ryne as I could to make an informed and logical decision regarding him. I would also learn more about the plague, if possible. My confusion was replaced by determination.

After another full day of snow, the winds came. The fire pulsed, and the cave echoed with the shrill keen of the wind. I passed the time by sorting through the crate Quain had found in the records room.

The Guild healers had listed all the remedies, medicines and techniques that had failed to heal the plague. Scanning the list, I was impressed by the sheer number of different things they had tried. Each trial had exhaustive notes about the patient’s response. Nothing cured the disease. Although crushed ginger root mixed with white birch sap helped ease the horrible stomach pains—a small concession.

I created my own list of what I had learned about the plague. It hadn’t discriminated as far as age or gender. No one survived. Those living now never had any symptoms at all. The last known case had been over two years ago. I wondered about the magicians who had survived. Did the plague strike only certain types of magicians?

“I don’t know,” Kerrick said when I asked him. “A few are in hiding, although I’ve no idea who they are. The others have either joined up with Estrid or Tohon.” He sat next to the fire, repairing the leather tie on his boot.

“Do you know what their specialties are?”

He paused, frowning. “Tohon has one earth mage, one rock hound and one fire. Estrid has Jael, a water mage and a moon mage.”

“What’s a rock hound?” Quain asked between gulps of water. He was taking a break from his practice bout with Belen.

“They’re magicians whose power is a gift from rocks, gemstones, ore, coal or any hard substance found in the ground or mountains. They can also cause earthquakes if they’re strong enough.”

“Wouldn’t they be called earth mages?” I asked.

“No. Earth mages are linked to the soil and the creatures that live in the soil.”

“I’d rather be a hound,” Quain said.

“You certainly smell like one,” Loren teased. He stirred the stew.

After more than a week on the road without being able to do more than splash a few handfuls of water on us, I suspected we all did.