Thoughtless Page 33


I breathed in the crisp autumn air as I looked around the quaint little area. The leaves of the trees were a brilliant orange and red, and quivered slightly in the soft breeze. It wouldn't be too much longer before they started to fall. I unzipped my light jacket. The weather was still unseasonably warm for this time of year, I was starting to become a believer in global warming, but there was a purity and a cleanliness to the cooler air that was refreshing and cleared my head. It really was the perfect place to study a bit before work. I laid myself out on the grass and rifling through my bag, found a baggy of grapes and started popping a few.

Several groups of people were clumped around the park, enjoying the perfectly sunny day, as it may be one of the last for awhile. Some were playing catch with their dogs, some, like me, were studying, and others were enjoying a late picnic.

I noticed a group of teenage girls giggling not far from me and I turned to look at what had their attention. A man had his back to us, his shirt off, doing push-ups against a park bench. I watched him idly for a minute while the girls continued murmuring. He finished and grabbed a full water bottle from the bench. Turning a little towards me, he took a drink from his bottle. His body was unbelievably perfect...and all too familiar. I laughed and rolled my eyes.

Of course, I thought. Of course I would pick the park Kellan used to work out at on his runs. Of course he would be here now, while I was trying to study. He turned and instantly spotted me on the grass, still openly staring at his body. A slow, sexy smile spread on his face and he cocked his head to the side adorably as he started walking over to me, water bottle in one hand, shirt in the other. The girls he passed on the way over giggled louder at his alluring smile and turned to watch me curiously. I sat back in the grass and watched him come over, my heart beating a little faster.

He sat down in the grass next to me as I sighed loudly. "Can't I go anywhere without running into you?" I teased.

He laughed and extended his legs out straight, leaning back on his hands. "This is my park...you're the one stalking me." He half-smiled over at me.

I smiled and popped another grape, gazing at him. My focus started on his impossibly sexy hair, slightly damp around the edges from his workout, but eventually my gaze drifted down his perfect cheekbones, strong, smooth jaw, and down his neck to his bare, lightly damp chest. I lingered there, following every line, starting at the top and slowly mentally tracing them all the way down to the deep lines of his lower abdomen disappearing pleasantly into his track pants. I couldn't stop the intimate knowledge I had of touching that body, from leaping into my head. I bit my lip.

"Hey." Kellan's voice snapped me out of my near trance and I glanced back up at his amused eyes. Raising an eyebrow, he asked, "Are you objectifying me?" I blushed and looked away as he chuckled. "It's okay if you are. I was just wondering if maybe you were thinking about renegotiating our rules?" He met my eye and grinned. "Can I kiss you yet?"

I smirked back at him and he laughed more. Grabbing the shirt out of his hands, I threw it back at him. "Put some clothes on..."

He frowned at me. "I'm hot..."

I smiled back. "You're indecent...and people are staring." I pointed over to the young girls still gawking at him.

He looked over at them, making them giggle, then shook his head as he looked down at his half-naked body, muttering, "Indecent?" He sighed. "Fine." Then he grabbed his water bottle and dumped it on his shirt before putting put his wet shirt back on. "There...better?"

I looked at him with my mouth open, until I got back my control and shut it. "Yes, thank you." No, it wasn't any better. The wet shirt clung to every delightful muscle, so he may as well have left it off. I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing how good he looked though. I was pretty sure he was well aware anyway.

Sitting up, he reached into my baggy and grabbed a couple of grapes. I smiled at him wryly. "Go ahead...help yourself."

He smiled as he popped them in his mouth. "I frequently do," he said, raising an eyebrow and grinning mischievously.

I sighed and rolled my eyes at him while he came over to sit right beside me. "And what are we studying?"

I smiled and blushed deeply as I looked over at him. "Human Sexuality."

"Ahhh...really?" He nudged my shoulder playfully. "One of my best subjects." I cringed away from his wet, cold shirt. He laughed at my reaction, then, without warning, he tackled me, pressing his wet shirt firmly against me and laughing.

"Oh my god, Kellan! You are so cold! Get off me!" I screamed at him, and tried pushing him away, laughing so much my eyes were watering. He kept on laughing and didn't move away. Grabbing my wrists so I couldn't push him off, he held me down on the grass.

Eventually our laughing slowed as we gazed at each other. He eventually smiled adoringly at me and lowered his forehead down to mine. I suppose that wasn't specifically against my rules. We breathed softly on each other for a minute and he moved his hands so our fingers were interlaced.

I felt like we were starting to cross a line and was about to say something, when the girls a short distance away yelled, "Kiss her!"

He pulled back and swallowing, laughed a little. "See," he nodded his head over to the group of teenagers, "they want us to renegotiate." He grinned wickedly and I pushed him off of me.

"You," I pointed to his chest, "go finish your run." I pointed vaguely to the direction of our house. "I do need to study...and you're far too distracting." I blushed and looked down.

He laughed and stood up. "Okay, have it your way then." He smiled, and turning back to the girls, shrugged at them and winked. They giggled and then groaned as he turned to leave the park.

I rolled my eyes again and brushed off my now-dampened shirt. I zipped back up my jacket as the dampness made me shiver a bit. Well, I'm pretty sure it was the dampness.

My head drifted in and out of pleasant thoughts of Kellan's body for the rest of my study session. I found myself daydreaming and staring blankly at the same paragraph for a good ten minutes. I sighed; he was distracting even when he wasn't there. I shivered a bit, remembering his body pressed against mine, his forehead against mine, his breath against my skin...

I shivered yet again and stood up. This wasn't the sort of studying I needed to be doing. I may as well go in to work. At least the bustle of activity would change the direction of my thoughts.

Being at work didn't change my thoughts at all. In fact, I found myself glancing over at the doors, waiting for the band to arrive for their performance tonight. It seemed a little silly to me, that I was actually anxious to see him when I saw him all the time - I couldn't seem to get away from him. That thought made me smile. I think I had a goofy grin plastered on my face all night as I slyly watched the doors.

"Okay, what did he do?" Kate asked, coming up behind me awhile later.

"Who?" I asked uncertainly.

"Denny - you've been grinning all night. That usually means the boyfriend did something good." She and Rita leaned across the bar expectantly. "So spill - flowers, jewelry? Oh my god, did he propose?" Kate's light brown eyes sparkled at the idea. She put her head in her hands as she leaned against the bar, looking lost in that dreamy thought for a second.

I blushed deeply. Denny and I hadn't even talked about marriage yet. He was the practical type who wouldn't even bring it up until he was set in his career. And he wasn't the one who was making me grin. "No, no proposals. Nothing special, I'm just happy."

Rita and Kate exchanged disappointed looks then Kate tossed her long hair over her other shoulder. "Fine, keep your secrets." She winked as she stood lithely and went back to work.

After she left, Rita looked at me conspiratorially. "Okay...she's gone, you can tell me."

I blushed again. "There's really nothing to tell, Rita. Sorry, my life is pretty boring." I smiled inwardly at how untrue that was.

It wasn't too much longer that the band did filter in, and I swear my heart skipped a beat when I saw him. You would think I hadn't seen him in days by my body's reaction, not just the few hours it had been since the park. He came up to me, looking all too sexy in his black long-sleeve shirt, layered under a light gray shirt, and asked how the rest of my studying went. I blushed and told him it went much better once he had left...which of course, it hadn't. He smirked at me and then laughed. Ordering his beer, he headed over to his table, where the rest of the guys were discussing something apparently really funny; I could hear their laughter from the bar. He clapped Sam on the shoulder as he walked by and I noticed that my shoulder was pleasantly warm. And then I realized that that was because he had put his hand there when he'd ordered his beer. My goofy grin stayed with me the rest of the night.

Actually, my grin stayed with me for the rest of the weekend.

Thinking about how wonderful the weekend had been, had me ducking out of class a half hour early on Monday afternoon. I couldn't seem to help it. I was anxious and wanted to see him. And knowing he was just sitting home alone, maybe bored, maybe thinking of me... Ugh, it drove me crazy all throughout the lecture. Our weekend had been fun and a little torturous. We had hugged in the morning over coffee and held hands when Denny was in the shower. We had all lounged around the house for most of the weekend and whenever Denny had fallen asleep while watching TV, Kellan and I would go in the kitchen and hold each other while we talked. Denny got called out early Sunday morning by Max and we had taken that time to snuggle on the couch. I loved it...I loved being near him. It was fun and flirty and as innocent as I could keep it, even though my heart usually started beating just a smidge faster when he was touching me.

I came into the living room and smiled at Kellan stretched out on the couch watching television, one arm on his chest, the other extended over his head. He turned to look at me when I entered the room and my breath caught as he grinned adorably at me.

"Hey, you're back early," he said sleepily. "I was going to pick you up."

I walked over to him as he sat up and scooted back on the couch, patting the cushion between his legs. "You look tired...everything okay?" I asked, as I sat in-between his legs and lay back on his chest. He played with my hair and held me tight. Flirting did have its perks.

"I'm fine...just a late night, didn't sleep well."

"Oh." I turned my head around to look at him with a wry grin. "Feeling guilty about something?"

He laughed a little and pulled me tighter. "About you? Every day." He sighed, and then pushed me forward, away from him. I started to turn and protest, but he put his hands on my shoulders and made me face front. Then he started massaging them.

"Hmmmm....I could get used to this flirting thing." I relaxed into his strong hands as he moved along my shoulder blades. He laughed softly. "Did you have a bad dream?" I asked, my own head feeling dreamy.

"No..." he murmured. "I had a good one actually." His voice was low and soft; I could have wrapped it around me like a blanket.

"Hmmmm...what about." His fingers moved along my spine and I made a soft noise in my throat.

"You," he said idly. His fingers stayed where they were when I made the noise. He pressed slightly harder and I made a deeper noise.

"Hmmmm...nothing naughty, I hope. We are keeping this innocent, right?" His fingers moved down to my low back, pressing deep and I exhaled loudly at the ache being released from me.

He laughed softly again. "No...nothing even remotely scandalous, I promise." He started bringing his hands up my back and I made another deep noise as even more tension drained from my body; his fingers were magic.

"Hmmm....good, I don't need you thinking about me that way," I mumbled.

He didn't say anything to that, just continued working his way up my pleasantly tingling back. I sighed deeply and relaxed even more into him, making even more satisfied noises. He shifted slightly behind me but said nothing further. Too relaxed to maintain a conversation, I enjoyed the comfortable silence. His fingers started back down again, reaching farther out to my ribcage. It was heaven. I practically growled in pleasure. He stopped for an extra minute anywhere I made a noise, so I started making the noises more frequently.

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