Broderick, the lucky bastard, was already suited, booted, and ready to rock. It really was annoying how much easier men had it on occasions like these. A shower and a shave and they were done.

It was as the hairdresser was almost done with me that my nerves from the night before started to settle in. I told myself to stop thinking about Sean, to just enjoy my brother’s big day without any additional drama. I owed it to Ronan and Annie. Today was their day.

After the ceremony and reception, Sean and I could talk. Kiss. Make up. Shag each other’s brains out for days on end. The usual.

Unfortunately, that things had been silent on his end worried me. I hadn’t received a single phone call or text, and I didn’t know what it meant. Did he get my messages? Or did he just not care? Was he still mad at me for the note? Or was he simply giving me space to work things out with Ronan?

When Annie came out in her dress, I momentarily forgot my worries about Sean, because I was suddenly welling up. She looked beautiful. Stunning. Like a flipping fairy princess. I sniffled and tried my hardest not to cry so I wouldn’t ruin my makeup. Her white dress had short lace sleeves, a sweetheart neckline, and a floor-length skirt that flowed gorgeously over her curvy hips. Her hair was in an elegant updo, with lots of intricate twists and curls.

The bridesmaids all wore calf-length, champagne-colored dresses, with lacy sleeves and matching champagne heels. Our hair was styled into sophisticated, loosely-curled chignons. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d looked so hot.

Mam sat in a corner seat, all dolled up in her pale-blue tulip dress. I could tell from the look she was giving me that my hair was bothering her, mainly because it was so mismatched against the blondes and browns of the other bridesmaids.

Remembering my promise to Ronan last night, I sucked it up and prepared to ignore her disapproval until we could have a serious talk. I knew I needed therapy, but I thought maybe my mother needed it even more than I did.

Somebody handed me a mimosa, and before I knew it we were heading downstairs for the ceremony. Since Annie’s parents were deceased, Broderick was going to give her away. As usual, he didn’t seem at all nervous, and in typical Rick style, took on the role with effortless confidence. Annie, on the other hand, looked a little bit peaky.

I was supposed to be heading up the bridesmaids, but instead I ran quickly back to her, took her clammy hands in mine and told her earnestly, “Ronan is the luckiest man alive to be marrying you. And I’m the luckiest girl to be gaining you as a sister. Don’t be nervous. You’re going to rock this.”

She swallowed and looked up at me with wide brown eyes. “Thank you. I needed to hear that. There are going to be so many people down there. It’s a little scary.”

“Just do what I do,” I told her with a grin.

“What?” she asked. “Imagine them all naked?”

“Nah. Too obvious. Imagine they’re all naked Henry Cavills. You’ll be smiling in no time.”

She laughed, her anxiety melting away.

With that I hurried back out. The function room had been decked out in cream ribbons and pretty flower arrangements. It was the epitome of bridal. Tom, acting as Ronan’s best man, took my arm to walk down the aisle. As we approached the front, I cast my gaze over the attendees, only spotting Sean when I’d almost reached the top. He sat next to a pretty, willowy redhead. This must have been his younger cousin, Eilish, the one he thought of as a little sister.

I caught his eye but he wore no expression. Despite my best intentions to focus on Ronan and Annie, my heart caught in my throat. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. Goosebumps broke out on my skin as I shot him an unsure smile. His non-expression didn’t change. He looked away. I almost got the impression he was embarrassed and my heart took a nosedive to my fancy shoes.

When we reached Ronan I rallied, wanting to be there for my brother. Tom slipped his arm from mine and I went to stand in the section reserved for the bridesmaids. I noticed my brother fidgeting with his cufflinks, so I smiled warmly and gave him a look that said, relax.

Jeez, he and Annie were as bad as each other today. Then again, it was their wedding. I couldn’t really blame them.

To a string quartet playing at the back of the hall, Annie finally walked down the aisle. Ronan’s eyes almost popped out of his head. He stared at her like he wanted to devour her right there in front of all the guests. It was just too funny.

When the ceremony began, I kind of lost focus, my attention wandering back to Sean to find he was already staring at me. Every small hair on my body stood on end as my heart began to pound.

I love you, I wanted to say.

I’m sorry for leaving you last night. It was stupid and idiotic and I wish I could take it back.

I tried to convey all this with my eyes, but I wasn’t sure it was doing the job. In fact, I was certain it wasn’t when Sean suddenly looked away, a muscle in his jaw ticking. By the time I brought my attention back to the ceremony it was almost over, and I tried to focus on my brother and Annie for the next few minutes.

They were announced man and wife. They were kissing. Everybody was oohing and aaahing at the loveliness of it all, while I was swept up in a sea of uncertainty.

It felt like Sean was pissed at me.

Was he pissed at me?

I would be pissed at me.

After everything that went down yesterday, it made sense. I suddenly felt sweaty in my dress, as Tom took my arm again and led me outside for pictures. But I pushed thoughts of him from my mind and tried to live in the moment, smiling widely and with feeling.