We all started talking about the party, and I looked over at Tracy again. She hadn't mentioned a word to me about what she'd seen between me and Ryan. And I didn't feel like bringing any more drama into my life. I just needed to survive my finals.

"Hey, Teresa," I yelled across the table. "You took Spanish three last year, right?"

"Si," Teresa responded.

A lightbulb went off in my head.

"Hey, guys." I stood up and everybody stopped talking. "Maybe we should use the next couple meetings to do study groups for finals." I heard some groans. "I know, I know, but think for a second. We can all help one another with our finals, especially members who have been in classes the year before."

I wanted to get even better grades this semester, just to prove Principal Braddock wrong. And, of course, I wanted everybody in the Club to ace their exams. When Jen had gone to the office that morning to give Braddock the money, he'd just grunted while he counted the bills.

Could anything make that man happy?

Chapter Thirty-six

IT WAS WEIRD, BECAUSE EVEN though I was a believer in Club secrecy, I wanted someone to let Ryan know the new rules. And at the same time, I still wasn't sure I was ready to date again, to take the risk that it wouldn't work out. it was so unfair: the more I liked Ryan, the more I knew he could break my heart.

I decided a study session was a safe non-date. So I invited Ryan over to review World History, He seemed a little surprised by the invitation, but didn't hesitate to say yes.

"So exactly how do you know all this inside information?" Ryan asked me, as we went over notes in my basement,

"Oh, I've got my resources." I took out a map of Nazioccupied Europe during World War it.

During Saturday's meeting, I'd found out that Ms. Barnes had asked a lot about World War it last year, I knew teachers didn't use the same exams, but it was good to get the scoop on what they had done before.

Plus, I didn't consider it cheating, as we weren't given any answers, just information on what happened the past year. I took anything I could get.

"Oh, hello, Ryan," Mom said, coming downstairs. "Do you want to stay for dinner?"

Ryan looked at me and I shrugged. "That would be great. Thanks, Mrs. Bloom."

Mom looked at both of us with a big smile on her face. It wasn't like we were up to anything -- there were textbooks spread across the floor, and Ryan and I were at least a few feet apart. I kept looking at her, waiting for her to say something, but she was just staring at us.

"Mom .. !'

"Oh, sorry!' She headed back upstairs.

Could that woman, for once in her life, just try, try to not embarrass me?

Although I was pretty impressed with myself, both Ryan and I had been able to be friends for nearly two weeks without any drama. That seemed to be our agreement. I did sometimes think about him in non-appropriate friend ways, but I was only human.

"Any big plans during the break?" Ryan got up and stretched. I looked at the clock, surprised that we had been studying for two hours straight.

"Wedding dress shopping." I unfolded my legs and tried to get feeling back in my left foot.

"So who's the lucky guy?" He winked at me.

I rolled my eyes. "Not for me, for Lucy. She's coming home for Christmas and she, Rita, and I are going to look for bridesmaid dresses." Rita had made it very clear to Lucy that we needed to be involved because she refused to look "like a pink taffeta nightmare."

I lay down on the floor and stared up at the ceiling. "I cannot watt for them both to be home. I just wish finals were over already!'

"Just one more day," he reminded me as he sat back down. "Hey, I'm really looking forward to Amy's party tomorrow night,"

I jerked my head up so fast that I felt a little faint. "What? You're going?"

Ryan's eyes widened. "Yes, is that a bad thing?"

"No, no, I just didn't know that Amy invited you."

He shook his head. "Well, I obviously wasn't going to get an invitation from you." He threw his folder at me.

"Oh, sorry . . ," Why hadn't I invited Ryan?

"But Amy wasn't the one who invited me."

Of course, Diane. How stupid of me to have thought that she wouldn't have invited him.

"Tracy asked me out."

Tracy? My Tracy?

Asked him out?

I tried to comprehend that not only had Tracy invited Ryan to the party, but that she hadn't told me. She usually told me everything.

I was the one who kept secrets.

My stomach tightened up. Oh my God. I knew exactly what this meant,

Ryan had finally made it onto Tracy's list.

That was ridiculous. Tracy had never once expressed an interest in him before. Maybe this was why she didn't mention seeing us near our lockers that one time. But hadn't she said earlier in the year that he and I would've made a good couple?

Of course, the last thing I'd said about the issue was when I was proclaiming that I'd never go out with Ryan in a million years. And it wasn't like I'd told Tracy what I was feeling. No.

I looked across and saw Ryan copying down some notes.

I couldn't really blame her.

I'd had weeks -- months! -- to ask him out.

But I had stayed silent.

And Tracy's hadn't,

Tracy wanted Ryan,

And I wanted to curl up in a ball and die.

Chapter Thirty-seven