“You can’t know that.”

“Yes, I can. Tell me.”

I felt her pulse flutter against my fingertips, her breathing growing panicked. She was like a small bird trapped in a cage, desperate to break free. I hated putting her in the cage, so I decided to take the bullet instead. It felt like all the air went out of me as I exhaled heavily and said, “Look, you don’t need to worry about anything. I already know.”

Time slowed. Annie frowned. I swallowed. Every muscle in my body clenched tight, and comprehension lit in her eyes.

She moved away as far as she could go, which wasn’t far, and I hated how she was looking at me in that moment. She was looking at me like I was a stranger. Suspicion laced her words.

“You know what, Ronan? What do you know?”

In a heartbeat, the tables had turned, and now I was the one panicking. She tried pulling away from me again, but I gripped her shoulders, pinning her in place. “I know about your blog,” I said, trying to sound strong and confident and failing miserably. My voice was all scratchy and uneven. “I know that you’re really The Socialmedialite.”

Her eyes flickered back and forth between mine in disbelief for what felt like forever. When she finally spoke, it was just one word.

“No.”

“Please let me explain.”

She squeezed her eyes shut. “This isn’t happening.” One second she was weak, distraught, but the next second, that all changed. She opened her eyes and glared at me. “How long have you known? How did you find out?”

“Your phone,” I confessed. “That time you lost it. You left it in my car. A tweet came on the screen from your Socialmedialite account. I put two and two together.”

Her chest rose and fell in anger, but I didn’t let her push me off. “That was weeks ago! You…I…we…we’ve exchanged emails since then. You pretended….”

“You pretended, too,” I said, cutting her off. “You pretended for longer; but I forgave you, and now you need to forgive me.”

“Get off me,” she fumed.

“Don’t run away from me,” I begged.

“I said, ‘GET OFF ME!’” she yelled, and my body went limp. I let go of her immediately, and she climbed from the bed, feet stomping on the carpet as she paced the room. I was shattering into tiny pieces as I felt her emotionally sever all ties. I couldn’t handle this. I was in too deep, and if she left me now, I’d never recover.

“I’m so sorry, love; please come here, and let me explain. Let me explain why I lied,” I said, sounding like a desperate man. She was the only woman I would ever be desperate for. I had to make this right.

She stopped pacing and turned to face me, speaking in stops and starts like she was putting pieces of a puzzle together in her mind. “You manipulated me. You wrote me emails looking for romantic advice, and you knew it was me all along. You wrote that email saying you loved me knowing I’d be the one to read it. You can’t just….” Her voice broke as tears took over. “You tricked me, Ronan!”

“I wasn’t trying to trick you. It was the truth!”

“The truth? Was it? Or has this all been a game? Did you send that email just so I’d let you fuck me?!”

Okay, now I was pissed. I stood from the bed and walked toward her, backing her up and slamming my hands into the wall behind her. I faltered a little when she flinched. “I don’t play games, and I’ve only ever been real with you, Annie. I sent those emails because I wanted you to know how I felt, but I knew that if I told you in person, I’d scare you off. Writing it down and letting you read it without having to respond gave you safety. No matter what you might think, you always come first for me. And I asked you to marry me because I want you to know I’m all in. You have me, body, heart, and soul.”

She closed her eyes when she spoke. “Please, stop. Just stop….”

A lump formed in my throat as I stepped away. Turning her head, she glanced at me then looked to the floor. Her voice was tiny when she spoke, staring at her feet, “Can’t you see? I feel…violated and exposed having you know, having anyone know.”

“Am I just anyone to you?”

She didn’t answer me. Instead, she shook her head and continued as though I hadn’t spoken. “Blogging…blogging has always been my biggest secret. This is probably going to sound crazy, but it’s the only place I can be free and completely happy—it’s the only place where I can be my true self without fear. If people know it’s me, then it’s not my escape anymore. You took that freedom away from me, Ronan, and I’m not sure if I can forgive that.”

I wasn’t a crier. In fact, I could count on one hand the number of times I’d actually cried in my life, but right then I felt a tear leak out. She was so, so damaged by her experiences, and writing was her way of escaping. But it had to be anonymous. That’s the only way it worked. And now she felt like I’d ruined it.

“I’d never tell anyone,” I began; but she cut me off, and her passion returned as she threw her hands out in anger.

“That’s not the point! That thief has my laptop. Soon he’ll know my secret and will sell it to the highest bidder. I’ll be hounded. My life will never go back to the way it was. It had been safe and comfortable, and though it might have been lonely, it was perfect for me. I wish I’d never met you! If I hadn’t, then none of this would have happened!”