The Hooker and the Hermit Page 34
“You have….” He paused, sniffed, lifted a hand to wipe his eyes, and waited until I looked up at him. “Ah, God….” He shook his head, smiling at me. I knew he was trying to collect himself, so he wouldn’t dissolve into another bout of uncontrollable hilarity. “You have the most astonishing laugh I’ve ever heard.”
I let my forehead fall to his muscular chest and pressed my lips together; my words were muffled when I finally trusted myself to speak. “This is why I don’t laugh around people. I have the worst laugh. It’s the worst.”
“It’s wonderful.”
I tilted my chin upward and glared at him. “It sounds like the sound a pig would make if it were having sexual relations with an alligator.”
Ronan threw his head back, and—surprise, surprise—he laughed.
I allowed myself a smile but swallowed my giggle before it could bubble beyond my lips.
“Come on.” I tugged on him. “I’m hungry, and we still have two blocks to walk.”
“Good.” He pulled me backward against him then threaded my hand around his waist. He placed it on his hip and me once more under his arm. “That’ll give me time to tell you some of my favorite knock-knock jokes.”
***
I didn’t realize that I was relaxed until I’d already been relaxed for over an hour. True to his word, Ronan had fun watching me eat, maybe too much fun.
The bakery was quite small and had only two tables, both pressed up against the glass storefront and overlooking the sidewalk. He claimed the only vacant table while I ordered my food. I joined him, sitting across from him like it was the most natural thing in the world, while he picked up a terrible knock-knock joke where he’d left off before we’d separated for me to order.
I ignored his eyes, which were dancing with challenge, daring me to laugh, and instead set a cup of water in front of him, arranged my tea, and then stuffed my face with the sweet, soft, creamy éclair.
I might have moaned. I know I closed my eyes while I chewed. It was…it was heaven with cream filling.
When I opened my eyes, I found Ronan watching me. His elbows were on the table, and he was leaning slightly forward, sitting straight in a chair that looked too small for his athletic form. One of his thumbs was brushing against his lips, and his eyes were trained on my mouth like it had just cured cancer.
I stiffened. “Do I have something on my mouth?”
When he spoke he sounded a little dazed. “Not yet….”
I lifted an eyebrow at him as his eyes refocused on mine; they were hot and…interested. Almost predatory. Actually, they were definitely predatory. Definitely.
I swallowed unnecessarily, my stomach fluttering, and I looked at him sideways. “What?”
“I could watch you eat that all day.”
I lifted my eyebrow higher but was silent.
“It’s true. I could. We should do that. I should have you over to my place. I’ll provide the éclairs, now that I know where you get them, and you provide the entertainment.”
“No, please, no. Based on your gift-giving track record, you’d buy every pastry north of 59th Street.”
“Liked the flowers, did you?” His grin reminded me of a very wicked and very pleased little boy. “I like the idea of filling up your place with treats."
“Wow, that’s a very tempting offer.” I endeavored to sound both unimpressed and demure, but really, an apartment full of éclairs was right up my proverbial alleyway of bliss.
“But you should know….” Ronan leaned close and glanced over his shoulder like he was making sure no one else was listening. I sipped my tea and tried to look bored as he continued, “You’ll have to do it naked.”
I spit out my tea.
I spit out my tea right in Ronan’s face.
It was horrible. I was horrible, even though it wasn’t at all purposeful.
A terrible moment of shocked and mortified paralysis passed where I could only belatedly cover my mouth and gape at him and what I’d done. Meanwhile, after his initial flinch of surprise, he sat motionless, his eyes closed and my warm tea all over his face and white shirt.
“OhmygodIamsosososorry!” I jumped up, grabbed at the napkin dispenser, and pulled out at least ten paper napkins in quick succession; then—because I didn’t know what else to do—I began mopping his face and neck and shirt. But I was so focused on the mess I’d created, I didn’t notice where I’d placed the cup of tea until it was too late.
That’s right. I knocked it over with my elbow just as he opened his eyes, and it rushed across the table, splashed on his shirt, and puddled on the front of his pants. Ronan sucked in a sharp breath then stood abruptly, his chair falling in his haste to stand, and he cursed (likely because the tea was still hot).
“Oh, my God!” I stepped back and away, lifted my hands to cover my face, and held perfectly still because, if I was still and silent, then I could cause no more damage. I still clutched the damp napkins.
I’ve always been slightly clumsy, but this was ridiculous. The trip and slight stumble earlier were more my modus operandi. I was always tripping over my own feet or colliding with things because I wasn’t looking up. Spit-takes and drenching people with hot tea were well beyond my normal. I closed my eyes and willed myself to disappear.
Then I heard his laugh.
I opened one eye and peered through my fingers; I found him leaning against the window, holding his stomach, laughing uncontrollably. I watched him for a few moments, wondering if he was laughing because he was frustrated or because he was actually finding my abuse of him funny.