"It seemed unthinkable to me, performing this. It was not service after all, not the dressing and adorning of my Queen, not the fetching for her to show I accepted her power and worshiped her. Not suffering for her, receiving her blows. But rather a series of willfully executed ignominious positions. I couldn't endure the thought of it. But worst of all, I couldn't imagine myself managing to do it. I should be dreadfully humiliated when I failed in will, and was then dragged off again to the kitchen surely.

"I was beside myself with rage and fear, and this menace, this brutal Lord Gregory whom I hated so was smiling at me. He took hold of my c**k and pulled me forward. Of course he had it at the root, not near the tip where it might have given me some pleasure. And as he tugged my hips so that I lost my footing, he said, 'This will be a grand spectacle. The Queen, the Grand Duke and others shall witness it. And Princess Lynette shall be very eager to impress the Court. See to it that she does not outshine you.'"

Beauty shook her head then and kissed Prince Alexi. She now saw what he meant when he said he had only just begun to yield.

"But Alexi," she said gently, almost as if she could save him from his fate, as if it hadn't already happened long ago, "When you were brought by the stable boy to the Queen's presence, when she made you fetch the golden balls for her in the parlor, was this not something of the same thing?" She stopped. "O, how shall I ever do these things!"

"But you can do them, all of them, that's the point of my story," he said. "Each new thing seems terrible because it is new, because it is a variation. But at the heart it is all the same ultimately. The paddle, the strap, the exposure, the bending of the will. Only they infinitely vary it.

"But you do well to mention this first session with the Queen. It was similar. But remember I was raw and shaken from the kitchen, and thoughtless. I had regained my strength since then, and my strength had to be broken down again. Now perhaps had the little circus been constructed when I was fresh from the kitchen I would have taken to it eagerly then too. But I think not. It encompassed much greater exposure, much greater stamina, much greater surrender of self into positions and attitudes that appeared grotesque and inhuman.

"No wonder they need no real cruelty, no fire, no whips, to teach their lessons or amuse themselves," he sighed.

"But what happened? Did it come about?"

"Yes, of course, though Lord Gregory had no need of telling me beforehand except to rob me of sleep. I spent a painful restless night. I awoke many times thinking others were near, the stable boys, or the kitchen servants, that they had found me helpless and alone and meant to torment me. But no one approached me.

"During the night I heard whispers of conversation as Lords and Ladies walked under the stars. Now and then I even hears a slave driven past, crying fitfully under the inevitable smack of the leather. A torch would flicker under the trees, nothing more.

"When the morning came, I was bathed, and rubbed with oil, and all this time, my penis was not touched, save when it flagged. Then it was cleverly awakened.

"At twilight, the Slaves' Hall was full of talk of the circus. I was told by my groom, Leon, that the circle of performance had been prepared in a spacious hall near the Queen's apartments. There would be four rows of Lords and Ladies surrounding it, and they would bring their slaves, too, to see the amusement. The slaves were in a state of dread, lest they be made to perform. He said nothing more than that, but I knew what he was thinking. It was a grueling test of self-control. He combed my hair, rubbed much oil into my bu**ocks and thighs, even oiled my pubic hair a little and brushed it so it would be glossy.

"I was quiet. I was thinking.

"And when I was finally brought into the room, into the shadows near the wall from which I could see the illuminated circle, I understood what I had to do. There were stools of various heights and various circumferences. There were trapezes hung so and great hoops mounted perpendicular to the floor. Candles burned everywhere on high stands among the chairs of the Lords and Ladies who were already assembled.

"And the Queen, my cruel Queen sat in state, with the Grand Duke Andre beside her.

"Princess Lynette stood in the middle of the circle. So she would be allowed to stand, I mused, and I should be driven in on hands and knees. Well, I must make up my mind.

"And as I knelt there waiting I decided that resistance was impossible. Were I to try to hide my tears, were I to grow tense, my humiliation would only be more dreadful.

"I must make up my mind to do what I had to do. Princess Lynette looked exquisite. Her flaxen hair hung free down her back where it had been trimmed only enough to expose all of her bu**ocks. She had no more than a pink blush there from the paddle, and a blush on her thighs and calves too, which far from disfiguring her, appeared to shape her and improve her. It was infuriating. About her neck she wore a collar of gilded and worked leather that was a mere adornment. She wore boots as well, heavily gilded with high heels.

"And I of course was utterly naked. I did not even have a collar, which meant I must control myself at her commands, I could not even be dragged this way and that.

"So I could see exactly what I must succeed in doing. She would put on a great show of inventiveness. She would be ready to vent her anger on me in commands of 'Hurry,' and 'Quickly' and scold and condemn for the slightest disobedience. She would therefore win the applause of the audience. And the more I struggled, the more she would shine, just as Lord Gregory had indicated.

"The only way I could triumph was through perfect obedience. I must execute all her commands to perfection. And I must not struggle either externally or inwardly. I must weep if I must weep, but I must do all she commanded, even if to think of it sent my heart to thudding in my wrists and temples.

"Finally everyone was ready. A handful of exquisite little Princesses had served the wine, swinging their pretty little hips and showing me some delightful sights as they bent over to fill the cups. And they too were to see me punished.

"All the Court, for the first time, was to see it.

"Then with a clap of her hands, the Queen ordered that her pet, Prince Alexi be brought in and that Princess Lynette 'tame' me and 'train' me before their very eyes.

"Lord Gregory gave me the usual quick smacks with the paddle.

"At once I was in the circle of light, my eyes hurt by it for the moment, and then I saw my trainer's high-heeled boots coming nearer. In a moment of impetuousness, I rushed to her and kissed both her shoes at once. The Court gave a loud murmur of approval.