I shrugged, not caring much, and sipped my mint tea. I’d partied more in the last ten years than the entire squad put together. I’d earned my newfound lifestyle of peace and quiet, so they could slag me off all they wanted. I looked to the door and met Eilish’s gaze one last time before she went.

There was a quality in her lingering look I couldn’t identify right away. Then it came to me: curiosity.

Something about the encounter tonight changed her mind about me.

Which made me wonder what her opinion had been before.

Chapter Five

ECassChoosesPikachu: I’m not crying, I just have onions, pepper spray, and severe acute depression in my eye.

SeanCassinova: See you after work, I’ll be the bloke holding the sign: Free Hugs

*Eilish*

Today was Patrick’s first day at primary school, and I was a wreck.

He seemed excited, not nervous at all. My boy rarely got nervous. He simply took new experiences as they came. I, on the other hand, felt like I had placed him in a wicker basket and was about to send him down the river. Yes, I was being ridiculous. No, I couldn’t seem to help it.

“What’s wrong, Mummy?” Patrick asked, his small hand tugging on my sleeve as he stared up at me with wide, concerned eyes. I dabbed at my tears and bent down on one knee to give him a hug.

“Nothing, baby. Nothing’s wrong at all,” I whispered, my voice cracking.

“Everything will be okay,” said Patrick, patting my shoulder. “Don’t cry. When we get home, we can play Pokémon with your cards.”

I let out a watery laugh. Of course he’d be the one to comfort me. Some days I wondered if I needed him more than he needed me. The prospect of not being with him all day made my heart feel like it was breaking. I’d been spoiled over the last few months; finishing school with Sean’s financial assistance meant I’d been able to spend all day, every day with Patrick.

Now it was time for reality.

Stupid reality, keeping it real all the time.

“We’re a team,” Patrick went on prosaically, and I grew even more emotional. It was something I always said to him. It was our motto. The two of us against the world.

Sean cleared his throat from somewhere behind us.

And maybe Sean.

“Yes, baby, we’re a team,” I sniffled and pulled back slightly. “You’re the most amazing boy in the whole wide world, do you know that?”

Patrick chewed his lip. I couldn’t get over how adorable he looked in his uniform: tiny white shirt, tiny blue jumper, tiny gray slacks, tiny black shoes. The sight of him made my heart melt. “Do you think I’ll make friends?” he asked with just a hint of apprehension.

I laughed softly to cover my maniacal maternal instincts, which had me thinking, They better be friendly to you, or else I’ll be handing out wedgies to four-year-olds . . . and likely being arrested for giving wedgies to four-year-olds.

I ran my fingers through his short hair. “I think you’ll make more friends than you’ll know what to do with.”

He wriggled excitedly in place and started to grin. “I hope they like Pokémon.”

“I’m sure they will. Now give Mummy one last hug. She’s going to miss you like crazy.”

He threw his arms around my shoulders and squeezed tight. “I’m gonna miss you, too,” he whispered in my ear, like he was telling a secret.

Standing back after a hug that lasted too long, but never long enough, I finally let him walk into his classroom, but I couldn’t bring myself to leave. I stood at the door, peering through the window, my heart in my throat.

Please be nice to him. He is my world. If you make him cry, I’ll destroy you.

“Okay, Eilish. Time to go.” Sean came up behind me, his hands gripping my shoulders and turning me away from the door.

“Just one more minute.”

“No. We have to go. Do you want to be late for work on your first day?”

Sighing sadly, I let him steer me from Patrick’s classroom, down the hall, out the door, and to Sean’s car. Once we were buckled in, Sean had us back on the road.

“Oh, come now. Cheer up.”

I sighed again. It was still sad.

“He’s growing up so fast,” I said mournfully.

“Yes. Pretty soon he’ll be beating his Uncle Sean in an actual ruck, and not just ones we play on the game console.”

I slid my eyes to the side and peered at my cousin. He was a trickster. Last night, as Lucy watched Patrick at my place, we’d gone to Sean’s to pick a little something up.

The little something had turned out to be a big something.

“We’re not keeping it.”

“I don’t understand why this is such a big deal.”

I coughed, then sputtered, then coughed again, finally managing to choke out, “How can you say that?”

My cousin shifted in the driver’s seat, casting me an ill-tempered gaze. “You make it sound like I gave him a pony or a nuclear submarine. The Russians have several for sale, you know. You should be thanking me for not buying him one of those.”

“No, Sean. Not a pony or a nuclear sub. Just a giant television and a brand new Wii U game system. That’s it. That’s all.”

“So?” Sean’s hands tightened on the steering wheel as he pressed on the gas, the car accelerating so suddenly I had to grasp the door handle.

“Sean.”

“Eilish.”

I pressed my lips together, staring out the windshield, attempting to arrange my thoughts. How could I explain to my cousin that his lavish gifts made me feel . . . they made me feel . . .