Quain rubbed a hand over his head as if smoothing down imaginary hair. “Flea told us you couldn’t heal Yuri even though you tried. I think we shouldn’t tell Prince Ryne about the attempt or he’d be upset.”

“Upset is putting it mildly,” Loren muttered.

Quain ignored him. “Yuri was going to die regardless—”

“But I had no right—”

“Hush, I’m still talking. I think if it was me, and you turned me into the not dead, or whatever you call them, I’d want you to learn as much as you could from me in order to help our army.”

“A rather long-winded way to say he agrees with Odd,” Loren said.

I glanced at Flea. “Quain just had to talk it through.” And he made another good point. While my heart agreed with Flea, the logical choice would be to wait. “Let’s hear what Ryne has to say first.”

Flea’s face paled. I turned to him. “Remember, it’s your magic. You decide if and when you’ll use it. Not Ryne. Not me. Not anyone.”

“Yeah, but Prince Ryne will talk circles around me, confusing me, and the next I’d know I’d be doing what he wants.”

“Just follow your instincts.” I reached out to touch his shoulder.

He jumped back in alarm. Stung, I stood with my hand hovering over empty space. I’d thought I had achieved the maximum amount of guilt a person could ever feel, but I was wrong.

* * *

We had a single day before we needed to leave to rendezvous with Captain Drisana. I informed Lieutenant Macon of the situation with Yuri, since those of us who knew were included in the rescue mission.

“He needs no care. He won’t move. Just make sure no one enters this cavern.”

Macon eyed Yuri with a queasy expression. Yuri remained on the cot.

The lieutenant gestured to Yuri. “You sure he won’t move.”

“Yes. I’ve sent a message to Prince Ryne. Once I hear from him, I’ll decide what to do with Yuri.”

“What if you don’t return from the mission?”

Good question. “Then follow Prince Ryne’s advice.”

“And if he causes problems before then?”

“He shouldn’t. But in that case, you can decapitate him.”

Not happy about the situation, Macon grumbled, but agreed to assign a guard at the cavern’s entrance.

I spent the rest of the day checking on my patients with Ginger. Flea avoided me, dashing away any time I even stepped in his direction. I would have laughed if it didn’t hurt so much. The monkeys and Odd packed equipment and sharpened their swords, preparing for the mission. Gathering extra medical supplies, I put together an aid kit in case we had injuries.

We planned to leave an hour before dawn. Most of the team settled down next to the fire right after supper. Flea planted himself between Quain and Loren. They’d only had about four hours of sleep two nights ago. Me, too. But the thought of Tohon’s sleek voice invading my dreams prevented me from lying down. He would gloat with glee, claiming Yuri was more proof that I carried his magic. Bad enough my own fears whispered that very same thing.

A few hours later, Ginger guided me to an empty cot. “Sleep. Or you’ll be useless for the mission,” she said, pressing down on my shoulders.

I perched on the edge, uncertain.

“Do you want a sleeping draft?” Her stiff-backed posture meant she wouldn’t go away until I stretched out. She flicked her long brown braid over her shoulder, waiting for my answer.

Ginger reminded me of Loren—practical, intelligent, and stubborn when it suited her. Like now. Around forty years old, she didn’t tolerate overly whiny patients, either.

“No, thanks.”

“Then what are you waiting for? An order from the prince?”

I smiled for an instant. Should I tell her about how well I obeyed orders from Ryne?

Ginger pointed to the pillow.

“Okay, okay.” I kicked off my boots and eased back onto the cot, resting my head on the pillow. Every muscle relaxed as a heaviness spread throughout my body. “Are you always this bossy?”

“Only when needed.” She remained standing next to the cot. “Stop fighting it and close your eyes.”

“Yes, sir.” I managed to provoke a slight grin from Ginger before she faded. “All right, Tohon, your turn.”

“My turn for what, my dear?”

“Tell me things I don’t want to hear. Your turn to gloat.”

We walked through a forest, holding hands. I gazed at the greenery, flush with life. No autumn colors. Familiar clumps of trees and bushes passed and I realized we were in the silent-training area near Zabin.

“There’s no need to gloat. You’ve finally accepted the truth. And see what you’ve learned already.”

“That I’m capable of doing horrible things?”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself, my dear. Experimenting and learning are essential. You already discovered quite a bit about the Lilys and how the toxin and serum work. You may even find a cure for the toxin and save lots of lives.”

“Searching for a cure created the plague, Tohon.” As he was well aware, since he’d helped the healers with their research. “I’m not going to be the cause of another one.”

“How do you know another one hasn’t already been started? You’ve even considered how strange it was for Ryne to get sick years after being exposed to the disease. And don’t forget, I know all about Death Lily toxin. I’ve been experimenting with it for a long time.”