I shake my head. “No, it needed to be said.”

She bites the corner of her lip. Then she opens her mouth slightly and I pray that whatever comes out of her mouth will make me feel better about myself, will silence the voices that have been screaming at me since that day. “Ethan …”

“EMME!” Sophie’s voice blasts through the quiet, and like that, the moment is gone.

She runs over and hugs Emme. I ache when I see how happy this makes Emme. How she can’t see what everybody else sees. That Sophie is just using her.

“How was your first day, Em?” She puts her arm around Emme and doesn’t even bother to acknowledge my existence.

I’m wounded by her neglect.

“Carter told me that you’re going to be in the band for A Little Night Music?”

And here we go.

Emme nods. “Yeah, both me and Ethan.”

“Really?” Sophie looks over at me and forces out a smile. “That’s so great! I’m thinking of auditioning for Desirée.”

Wow, Sophie wants to play the part of a self-absorbed actress? That’ll be a stretch.

“You totally should!” Emme encourages her. Emme always encourages her (or enables her, depending on who you’re asking).

“Really?” Sophie acts surprised. “Do you think you’d help me get ready for the audition?”

Emme looks so happy. “Of course!”

I excuse myself. I’ve watched this play out for so long. Sophie needs Emme. Emme drops everything for Sophie.

I’ve never understood it. But Emme always stands up for Sophie. She’s her best friend after all. (That always stings a little, since I’m the one who has to wipe her tears away whenever Sophie blows her off.)

But Sophie is the reason Emme is at CPA. And as much as it pains me, I will always be grateful to Sophie Jenkins for that one thing.

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a worrier and that I spend too much time stressing out over stupid things. And that I don’t speak up when I should. But out of all the things that weigh me down on a daily basis, there is one item that I feel the need to finally get off my chest.

I’ve been working up the courage to do it all day. But I forgot about one thing.

Mr. Abs.

Carter’s been watching us rehearse a few new numbers in the recording studio my parents built for me at the Park Avenue apartment (a benefit of being an only child).

He’s a little too enthusiastic after every song. He can’t seem to find another word to use besides awesome.

But everybody in the band is eating it up. Emme keeps smiling at him, Ben is practically throwing himself at him, and Jack is “totally stoked” to have him here.

I’ve decided that I’m finally going to tell Emme how I feel tonight. But I can’t do it with Carter permanently attached to Emme like a barnacle.

She starts to wrap her guitar cord around her arms as we pack up for the night. I quickly move toward her as Ben asks Carter about some homework assignment.

“Hey, Emme, can you stay after so I can talk to you?”

Her eyes dart to Carter for a moment. “Um, sure.” It comes out like a question. “I, ah, was going to …” She stops herself. “Yes, of course.”

I think she knows this conversation has been a long time coming, and it’s best if we both get it out of the way.

She goes over to talk to Carter, and Ben enthusiastically offers to leave with him. Jack keeps looking back between the two of us with a smile on his face. He’s had this fantasy since the beginning that Emme and I would end up together.

But we all know Emme’s thoughts on me as a boyfriend, so that is never going to happen.

“What’s up?” She looks nervous. She keeps plucking at the guitar in her lap.

“What’s going on with the Soap Stud?”

Emme glares at me.

I continue. “What? He comes to one gig and all of a sudden the two of you are…?”

She gets up. “This is what you wanted to talk to me about? Do I even need to remind you who he’s dating? Please, Ethan, you should know better. Just because a guy and a girl are friends doesn’t mean there is anything romantic going on.”

That’s not devastating to hear. “No, that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about, although I’m just trying to figure out when good ol’ Six-Pack became such an important part of your life.”

“He has a name.” She reaches for her jacket.

“Okay. Carter.” I take her jacket from her. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you. It’s just …”

“I know. It’s …” She bites her lip and my heart sinks. “I don’t know.” She falls back down on the couch, looking defeated. “The last few weeks have been weird. Sophie keeps disappearing, and I don’t think I need to tell you how things have been between you and me. It’s nice to have someone to talk to.”

A lump rises in my throat. I used to be that person, but I don’t know what I am to her anymore.

We sit in silence for a few moments. I figure she needs to hear it. “Do you have any idea how much you hurt me?” I try with every ounce of strength I have to not cry. But I think back to that day and what happened.

I walked into practice fifteen minutes late and I felt like crap.

“Sorry I’m late,” I said. So it’s not like I didn’t say I was sorry.

“Dude, did you just wake up in a gutter?” Jack asked.