Shadows in the Silence Page 100


But now my power had returned to me. It surged through me like a torrential river waiting to be unleashed. Now that I had ascended, everything had proven worthwhile. Yet there was something inside of me that churned and whispered to me, something that had a different and immeasurable power of its own: my soul. It had stayed with me through my ascension, because it had become a part of me. My soul was who I was, the unique individual I had become.

And yet…That human version of me proved to be stronger than any previous incarnation. As a human girl, I had felt insurmountable fear, yet I had surmounted it. I had felt love, and I had fought harder for my friends and family because of it. I had faced enemies that should have defeated me, and yet I walked away alive. There had been strength in my human self that no one could have ever anticipated—or perhaps someone did and He had been right. Perhaps this human soul was a gift after all, just as God had promised me.

But would it save me? Save us all?

I found the key to my hotel room in my pocket. once inside, I tossed my burned clothing in the trash and put on fresh jeans and a shirt. My stomach rumbled, surprising me. I hadn’t expected to feel hunger now that I had ascended. This made me wonder how human I had remained.

The door burst open and my Guardian emerged, his face clenched with anger, and as soon as he saw me, relief poured over him. “Thank God you’re here. Why would you take off like that?”

“You said that we would meet everyone back here,” I said.

“You’re supposed to wait for me!” he shouted. “We’re supposed to stick together!”

I put my palm to my belly. “I’m hungry.”

His eyes bulged. “You’re—? What is wrong with you?”

“This form is strange to me.”

“Strange?”

“I was human only minutes ago,” I said. “Now I am an archangel.” I held out my hands and tightened them into fists, watching tendons and joints move and contract. “There is blood in my veins. I’m not supposed to hunger, or feel tired, or need to breathe. In truth, I don’t know what I’ve become. I am an archangel, but I am more than that.”

He lifted both his hands and touched either sides of my face, letting his fingers spill into my hair. “You know exactly what you are.”

I studied how the hard look on his face softened as he touched me, as if the feel of me did that to him, comforted him. “You are very peculiar.”

“I’m just being me,” he said. “You’re the one acting weird.”

“I remember everything,” I told him, and I didn’t push him away. “You loved me.”

“I still do, even though you don’t love me anymore. I promised you I would.”

I couldn’t look away from his face, no matter how hard I tried. “This is not permitted.”

His gaze fell and he reached for one of my hands. He drew it close to his lips. “What isn’t?”

“You are not permitted to touch me.”

“Then stop me.” His eyes flashed brightly. His nose and lips brushed my palm, his breath warm on my skin, and that uncompelled sensation returned to me.

“I don’t want to,” I told him. “I’m not supposed to want you to touch me.”

“You smell like jasmine,” he said very softly. “It’s the cream you put on your skin every morning after your shower. You still smell like the human girl you were minutes ago. You still are her. I know this body of yours as well as I know my own. You’re still my Ellie.”

His lips found my wrist and he closed his eyes as he kissed the tender skin there. I shivered and drew away from him, afraid of this feeling he gave me that was more than physical. I remembered too well the way he made me feel, but I didn’t understand it. I knew what he felt and that I had felt the same, but those emotions were gone and never should have existed in the first place.

He looked at me with eyes full of a mixture of hurt and determination. “I’ll bring you back to me.”

I started to say something, but the door opened again and another reaper stepped through. This was the demonic reaper, the brother of my Guardian, and behind him, a second demonic reaper appeared.

“Hey, guys,” Cadan greeted. “You remember Ronan, right?”

I recognized the tall vir’s ginger-colored hair and candy-orange eyes. He wore a wary expression and his gaze shifted from Will to me. “Gabriel,” he said, his tone careful.

Cadan watched me cautiously, studying me. As he grew closer, I sensed his demonic energy scratching at my own power like cat claws on a wall, digging through paint and plaster with an ear-splitting screech. I gritted my teeth hard and crushed my nails into my palm to keep myself grounded. I had called this demonic reaper my friend, this demonic reaper who had told me he loved me. The emotions in me now were so stirring, so conflicting, and I did not know what to do with myself. I was an archangel. What had I done to deserve the love of a demonic reaper? It was a strange thing.

“Are you okay?” he asked, watching my fists tighten as hard as they could. He took a step forward, but stopped himself. There was fear in his eyes as he gave Will a panicked look. “What did you mean by ‘sort of’ on the phone?”

“She’s an archangel,” Will confirmed. “But things are…complicated.”

“How complicated? Is she dangerous?”

I glared at both of them. “I am still able to hear you.”

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