I sighed. “And once again, when you say it like that, it sounds ridiculous. But it’s not just that—it’s other stuff. Like, aren’t you supposed to struggle a little? Isn’t part of a great romance the chase? The push and pull, the hunt, the uncovering bits and pieces of the great penis puzzle?”

“Um. What?” Caroline asked, and I dropped my head to the table.

“Didn’t you and Simon take forever to get together?” I asked from underneath my arms.

“Yes. But it was all foreplay. It was going to happen; it was just a question of when,” she said, her voice going all dreamy. I looked up at her, and her face was dreamy too.

“Well, that’s how it is with me and Hank,” I insisted, frowning even as I said it.

“But there’s another piece of this penis puzzle, right?” Jessica said.

 Caroline nodded emphatically. “Totally. I think you’re missing something here, Viv. You’re missing the biggest piece of all.”

I sat up straight, stretching my back and looking toward the bar, wondering where my drink was. I didn’t see John. But I did see . . .

“Clark,” I whispered.

“Exactly!” Caroline and Jessica said at the same time.

I shook my head, not taking my eyes off him. “No, I mean at the table by the bar.”

Their heads swiveled, and we all watched as he pulled out a chair. For a girl.

Tall. Thin. Blond. Gorgeous. Smart, I assumed. She had that look. She must be the plans he had for the night.

Clark laughed at something she said, and I winced as that dark chuckle made its way over the din of a hundred conversations, a hundred glasses tinkling and forks forking. She unfolded her napkin, placed it squarely and daintily in the middle of her lap, and then placed her hand squarely and daintily in the middle of the table. And brushed the side of his hand. Brushed the side of his hand! Slut!

I was out of my chair and across the bar, dodging Caroline’s grab and ignoring Jessica shouting my name. Clark turned just in time to see me barreling toward him, and he jumped up from his chair.

“Well hello!” I sang out, planting myself in front of the table, squarely and decidedly undaintily. “Sit down, Clark, don’t let me interrupt,” I chided, putting my hand on his shoulder and firmly pushing him back down. “Just wanted to come over and say hello. Hello!” I turned my attention to the cool blonde in front of me, who looked at me with amusement. Wrong emotion. “I’m Viv, nice to meet you,” I said sweetly, offering my hand to her.

“Nice to meet you, Viv. Wait—as in Vivian?” she asked, and I looked from her to Clark. He blanched.

“As in Viv, yeah.”

“Oh my goodness, why don’t you join us?” She clapped her hands in delight.

“Oh no, I’m sure Vivian has better things to do tonight than to—”

“I’d love to!” I cried, grabbing a chair from an empty table and straddling it backward. “What are we drinking?”

“I don’t think that’s a great idea—” Clark started, and I gave him a pffft.

“Nonsense, it’s a fine idea. How else can—sorry, what was your name?” I asked the blonde.

“Chloe.” She looked from me to Clark.

“Chloe! What a lovely name. Let’s all have a drink together, shall we? Hey, John!” I shouted, and he yelled back. “Bring my drink here, okay?”

“You got it!” he called back, and I settled in, crossing my arms over the back of the chair. I grinned at Clark, who mimicked my grin tightly.

“Vivian, I was hoping we might run into you tonight. I’ve been dying to meet you,” Chloe said.

“Chlo,” Clark said with a groan, and I winced at the familiarity.

Why would I wince? Matter of fact, why the hell was I over here? I looked back toward my own table, and saw Caroline and Jessica waving frantically, trying to get me back to our table. But I was committed now.

“You were hoping to run into me?” I asked, looking at Clark. Who was staring at my chest. I looked down, noticing the top of my black bra was peeking out from behind the buttons I’d undone earlier. Not taking my eyes from his, I flicked one more open. He groaned again, in a very different way. In front of Chloe? What the hell were these two into?

She just laughed. “Vivian this and Vivian that, can you believe she said this, and can you believe she wants to do that—what a piece of work he made you out to be!”

I looked at her in confusion.

“I haven’t heard my cousin talk about someone like this in the longest time, but now that I’ve met you, I can understand why!” She made a face at Clark when he threw eyeball daggers at her.

“Whoa whoa whoa. Clark’s your cousin?” I turned to him and threw a few eye daggers myself. “Your plans were with your cousin? What the f**k?”

“Watch your language, Vivian,” he warned, throwing back his own Scotch as quickly as John put the drinks on the table. He stared at me over the rim of the glass, eyes smoky hot and angry.

I leaned on the table, two legs of the chair now in the air. I looked him right in the eye, and lowered my voice. “What. The. Fuck. Clark.”

“Chloe, would you excuse us for a moment?” he asked, not taking his eyes off of me.

“Sure thing,” she said with a chuckle. “Nice to meet you, Viv,” she offered, patting me on my shoulder as she left the table. I didn’t actually see her go, since I was engaged in a stare-off with a librarian.

“She’s nice,” I said.

“You’re drunk.”

“That’s correct,” I agreed.

“I’m curious about something, Vivian,” he said, still not breaking eye contact with me.

“Curious?”

“Mm-hmm. About why you were so interested in who I was here with tonight.” He leaned forward; I leaned forward even more. We were within inches of each other. “You almost looked . . .” He looked at my hair, my lips, my shoulders, my br**sts, still pushed forward and half bared. When he met my eyes again, he lifted one corner of his mouth. “Jealous.”

“Jealous? Me?” I breathed, then turned it into a laugh. Which turned into a sputter. “I just came over here to say hi. To my friend, who I used to talk to all the time. My friend who used to want to help me with my house, and call me in the middle of the night, and go for rides in a kick-ass car with a ridiculous knight in shining armor hanging out of the back. Where did he go?”