Two Man Advantage Read online

  “Because he wouldn’t come out to your family,” Wells added, and Matty shot him a look.

  “I was gonna say that.”

  “Oh, I don’t doubt you a bit,” Wells teased, and Matty glared as he looked back at Avery. She was smiling, though. She seemed hesitant, but at least she was smiling. Which was a good sign, he hoped.

  “What made you come out now? You’ve been gay a really long time, haven’t you? Or are you bi? Not that it matters. Please don’t think I’m judging you—I’m not,” she insisted, and Matty shook his head. “I just wasn’t sure.”

  “No, I know,” Matty said quickly, waving her off. “Though you have every right to.”

  “Either way, I thought Mom said you were dating a girl a couple months ago.”

  Wells’s shoulders snapped back as he looked over at Matty. “What?”

  Matty swallowed awkwardly as he nodded. “Yeah, I dated this girl from high school, Marie, for a couple weeks, but it was only to please my mom. Nothing ever happened.”

  “You didn’t tell me that,” Wells said after a moment, staring a hole in the side of Matty’s face. Looking over to him, Wells could feel Avery watching them, but he didn’t care. The fact that Matty dated a woman was something he should have told him. It was common fucking courtesy! Who else had he dated?

  “She didn’t matter. Really, it was like three weeks of awkward dates and even worse kisses.”

  Wells took a breath, letting it out in a harsh gust because he sure as hell didn’t like that. He hadn’t expected Matty to stay single, but with a chick? It didn’t feel right.

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean—”

  “Don’t apologize,” Wells said, meeting Avery’s gaze. “It had to come out.”

  “It was nothing,” Matty reiterated once more. “I’m gay. Strictly dickly.” A moment of complete silence stretched between them, but then Avery laughed out loud, her body shaking with the emotion, and Wells felt his own lips curving. When he glanced over at Matty, he was giving Wells that stoic look he swore Matty had mastered. “Or better yet, strictly you.”

  Shooting Matty a sideways glance, Wells looked back at Avery and smiled. “I guess I’m the same.”

  “You are.”

  Wells met Matty’s heated gaze. “I am.”

  “Yup.”

  “Wow.” They both turned to look at Avery as she beamed back at them. “I never thought I’d ever see you smile like that. You were always so unhappy when we were teenagers.”

  Looking down at the table, Matty wrapped his hands around the beer, twining his fingers together. Wells could see the pain on his face, and it actually hurt him. “Because I couldn’t be who I wanted.”

  “Because of Dad?”

  He nodded. “Yeah. I don’t think he’ll accept me. He’s the fucking commissioner of the NHL, Av. I mean, come on.”

  Avery bit into her cheek as she nodded. “It will be a shock, for sure. I mean, I’m not really shocked, but I knew even before I confronted you about it. And I’m sure Mom and Dad are the same.”

  “No, they aren’t.”

  She eyed him, shaking her head. “Well, I suspected, but after I talked to Caleb and he told me you did have a thing for him, I knew I was right. But you were so dead set on denying it when I accused you.”

  “I think I pushed you that day too,” he added, and Wells had to look away.

  “You did.”

  “I was angry,” Matty said after a long pause. “I’d wanted so badly for Caleb to love me, to want to be with me, but all he wanted was you.”

  Avery pressed her hand to her chest, her eyes widening. “I had nothing to do with that, he came after me—”

  “I know,” Matty said, interrupting her. “It wasn’t you, it was me. I couldn’t handle the jealousy that was brewing inside of me. I couldn’t handle the fact that I couldn’t be who I wanted because I was scared. In no way does that excuse my actions, but believe me, if I could go back, I’d change it all.”

  When Wells looked up, the siblings were holding each other’s gaze. “Why can’t you be who you want? Who cares if Dad doesn’t agree? You gotta be happy, Matty. You can’t hide and stay so angry. You hurt me.”

  “I know—”

  “No. Really,” she urged before slamming her arms on the table. Two intricately designed tattoos covered her forearms. Wells couldn’t get a good look before she turned back to Matty. “These tattoos cover cut marks, marks I inflicted on myself because I didn’t understand what I had done to be treated the way you were treating me.” When her voice started to crack, Wells had to look away. His heart ached for her. “I looked up to you. Though we are the same age, you are my older brother, along with Seth and Laurence. I wanted so badly to be great like you three, and I wasn’t. But in no way did I change. I was me, but when it got to be too much because of what I now know to be your actions, I tried to end it all because I was a coward.”

  Wells could see the tears welling up in Matty’s eyes as he stared at the table. “No, I was the coward, and it pissed me off. It still does. I wanted to be strong, I wanted to be free—like you.” He looked up then, a single tear trickling down his face. When Wells looked to Avery, she, too, was crying. “I wanted to be you, but I couldn’t, and I was so unbelievably jealous of you. Which is not fair, I know, but—”

  “Why, Matty? That’s what I don’t understand, and I’ve always wondered. I wasn’t any different from you. We are twins, we seemed to like the same things, we got along great, but still, I’m pretty sure Mom and Dad loved you more.”

  “Never,” he said, shaking his head. “Yeah, they were very involved in our hockey lives. But when we were at those things, all they did was talk about how fucking successful you were going to be. How talented and beautiful you were. If it wasn’t you, it was Seth and Laurence, and I just felt like I wasn’t enough to anyone.” When he paused, taking a shaky breath, Wells reached over, rubbing his back. This story, the way Matty felt, rattled him. He couldn’t imagine being so scared that he would hide the way Matty had, or could hurt Wren like Matty had hurt Avery. He would die before he did that, but Matty wasn’t him. He had been lost for a long time, but he would never be lost again.

  Not when Wells would be right there beside him.

  “Because of all that, I took it out on you. That was wrong. Very fucking wrong.”

  “It was,” she agreed, wiping her face. “It was unnecessary. It almost killed me.”

  “I know, and I can’t even begin to explain the guilt I have inside of me because of it,” he urged as he looked up at her. “I’ve been in therapy for the last year. And no matter how I spin it, or even try to think of an apology for you, I don’t think one exists anywhere that could even come close to explaining any reason I deserve forgiveness from you.”

  Wells’s shoulders fell as Avery looked away, toward the table. “I assume you came here for that? Forgiveness?”

  Matty shook his head, though. “No, that’s not it.”

  Confused, Wells glanced back at Matty as Avery’s brows drew in and she asked, “Then why did you come?”

  “I came because I want so desperately to have you in my life, to be in Ashlyn’s life. I know it’s probably too much for you even to fathom ever forgiving me, but maybe in time, you might be able to.”

  Wells’s gaze moved between them, his heart beating so fast and hard he almost couldn’t hear anything they were saying. He wasn’t even sure he should be there, but he wouldn’t leave Matty’s side. He’d promised he wouldn’t. But he did wish that Jace were here for Avery. Wells could tell this was hard for her.

  Silence stretched between them until Avery looked up, wiping the tears from her cheeks, her makeup smearing a bit. “You’ve gone to therapy?”

  “I have.”

  “I never thought I’d hear you say that.”

  “I had to. It got to be too much, especially with all the pictures of you and Ashlyn on Instagram. I wasn’t invited to any family events where you were, and the guilt ate and ate awa