Falling for the Backup Read online

  Aynslee felt as if Leanna was trying to rub something in her face, but Aynslee couldn’t have cared less. With a condescending smile, she mimicked, “That’s so nice.”

  Leanna’s smile faltered for only a second before she said, “I hope it works out for you two.”

  The words were like knives, because Aynslee wasn’t sure if it would work out. At this point the future was unknown. The past month and a half had been blissful, but they still hadn’t talked about what was going to happen after the season was over.

  “It will. He is a dream come true,” Aynslee said, batting her eyes for good measure. “I wish you the best with your marriage and pregnancy. Congratulations.”

  Aynslee was proud of herself, because what she really wanted to do was pour nail polish all over Leanna’s feet and then stick out her tongue like a three-year-old. But she managed to refrain and instead turned back around to her friends.

  Unfortunately, though, the damage was done. Meeting Leanna had officially ruined Aynslee’s day, and probably her night with Jordan too.

  Jordan was standing by the kitchen counter when Aynslee got home. A smiled played on his lips as he watched her throw her things down and take off her coat. She looked beautiful, as always, but her usual sunny smile was missing.

  That was weird.

  “Hey,” she said, sliding her flip-flops off before walking toward him. He thought she was going to come to him, but she went to the fridge instead and took out a bottle of water. He knew then that something was definitely wrong.

  Coming up behind her, he wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing her neck before nuzzling his nose in her wild red hair. When she didn’t respond, he asked, “Want to tell me what’s wrong?”

  She fell back into him and let out a long breath. “I saw your ex today.”

  “How?” he said cautiously.

  “She was at the nail salon.”

  “So what happened?” he asked with concern. It was obvious that Leanna had said something to upset Aynslee, and it worried him.

  Aynslee left his arms and leaned against the counter. “She’s pregnant and getting married to some rich guy,” she said slowly.

  Okay, he knew that, and if he didn’t care, then why should she?

  “Yeah, I know.”

  She nodded as she looked down at the ground. “Oh.”

  “I don’t care. She means nothing to me now, you know that,” he said reassuringly.

  “No, I know. It isn’t that.”

  “What is it, then?”

  “She kept saying how happy she was, and it was annoying. But then she said, ‘I hope it works out for you two,’ and it just stung because …” She paused as Jordan’s heart pounded hard against his chest. He knew what was coming, and he wasn’t ready for it. Her eyes glazed over with tears, and it was like a shot to the heart. He couldn’t even look at her as she whispered, “I don’t know if we will work out, and it scares me.”

  Jordan felt himself shutting down. This conversation wasn’t supposed to happen yet. Everything had been great and they were happy. Why put a kink in their happiness? With a shake of his head, he said, “I want us to work out.”

  “I do too, but we’ve gone this whole time acting as if you aren’t leaving. I don’t know what’s going to happen when it’s time for you to go.”

  “I understand that, but, Aynslee,” he said, looking directly at her, “we said we would reevaluate everything when the time came. Let’s not worry; let’s enjoy what we have together right now. I am so happy, and it’s because of you, baby. Why upset us both with the logistics of what could, what will, or what won’t happen?”

  “Because I don’t want to let you go,” she said softly. “And I feel like I’m going to lose you.”

  Jordan let out a long breath as he ran his hand through his hair. He didn’t know what to say or what was the right thing to do. All he knew was that he loved this girl, and as much as he wanted to tell her that, he knew it would only make things worse. One day soon he would leave her, and they both knew that. The scariest thing was that, with each passing day, he wanted to give it all up, just for her. He knew he could ask her to go with him, but that didn’t feel right. Shaking his head, he said, “I told you from the start I was leaving. I don’t know what to say; I don’t know how to make this better. I’m sorry.”

  Aynslee slowly nodded as her lips started to tremble. When a stray tear rolled down her cheek, she turned away quickly and went to the sink, where she dumped out the water she hadn’t even taken a sip of. Jordan couldn’t move. He felt as if she had kicked him in the stomach with just that one small tear.

  “You’re right,” she said with a shaky voice. “Listen, I’m not feeling well. I think I’ll skip the benefit tonight. I’m sorry.”

  She started for the hallway, but he stopped her, taking her in his arms and dropping his mouth to hers. He could feel the tears rushing down her face, and it killed him. Holding her close as he pulled his mouth away, he slowly moved his thumb along her cheeks, catching each stray tear. She looked up at him, holding him hostage with watery green eyes, her red lips still wobbling. He wanted to say so many things, but he didn’t know how. He shifted to whisper in her ear, “We’ll figure something out. I can’t just walk away from you.”

  She choked on a sob before closing her eyes tight and wrapping her arms around him. He held her as she cried, feeling his own tears about to fall. Walking away from her was the last fucking thing he wanted to do, but what other choice was there?

  Pulling back, she looked up at him, her eyes filled with sadness. “You’ve walked away twice before; why wouldn’t you once again? The only good thing is that at least we had this time together.”

  His heart stopped as he held her gaze. “Don’t say that, Ayns. I’m not going anywhere yet.”

  He closed his eyes, wishing that things could be different for them. He wanted to get lost in her kisses, take her to bed, and never leave. In a perfect world, he would be with her and they would both have awesome careers. That’s what he wanted, but it seemed impossible.

  As he ran his nose along hers, she whispered, “Yeah, not yet.”

  Chapter 9

  “How about the Predators, do they need a goalie?”

  Jordan stood outside a little pub in the heart of Buffalo, on the phone with his dad. The Assassins were playing the Sabres the next afternoon for an early Sunday game, and it seemed as if everything in Buffalo reminded him of Aynslee. She had told him so many stories about growing up in the charming city that it felt as if he had lived there with her. Thinking of her prompted the usual smile, but it also brought on a little heartache. After skipping Jakob’s charity event, he had lain in bed with Aynslee, holding her and then making love to her all night long. He was such an idiot. He’d known this was going to happen, and he still fell in love. Now he was scrambling, trying to figure out a way to keep them together.

  Bill cleared his throat, and Jordan could hear his father’s fingers typing on the computer. After finding the answer he needed, Bill finally said, “Maybe. I could reach out to them.”

  “Yes, please do,” Jordan said, feeling a glimpse of hope. It would piss some of his teammates off if he went to the Assassins’ most hated rival, but if it allowed him to stay in Nashville, he’d do it.

  “Why? I thought you wanted to play for the IceCats.”

  “I don’t want to leave Nashville,” he admitted, pinching the bridge of his nose and bracing for a fight. Jordan knew his father. Bill loved his wife more than anything, and if bringing her son back home to play would make her happy, he’d do it, no matter how Jordan felt about it. Jordan wanted to be close to his parents, but Aynslee was becoming the most important thing in his world.

  “Why?”

  “I met someone.”

  Bill paused, and Jordan took the opportunity to hold the phone out from his ear before the screaming started.

  “Are you fucking kidding me? You knew you were leaving at the end of the season. You wanted this!