Boarded by Love Read online

  “I’m scared, Claire,” he says, his own eyes filling with tears, and it fucking kills me. “I’m scared that I’m going to trust you and then you’ll break me again. I mean, I know this is probably not as big a deal as I’m making it, but I don’t do lying. I’ve been one hundred percent honest with you. I never lied, and you held this part of you away from me? Is it ’cause you thought I wouldn’t support you?”

  I nod slowly. “I didn’t think you’d want me if you knew I danced like this.”

  “Did you give me the chance, though?”

  I shake my head, biting into my lips because he may very well miss me, and probably still loves me, but if he can’t trust me, what is the point?

  “No, I didn’t,” I whisper. “And I know that’s wrong, but I couldn’t lose you. I knew the dancing wasn’t forever, I knew that it was just until I got the money I needed, and then I would quit. I had nothing, Jude, and I refused to live through that again. I don’t ever want to go back to that life, where being alive didn’t matter. A time when I didn’t believe in anything.” My throat is closed tight with emotion, and I have to look away to compose myself. “I thought I was going to be her; I thought I was going to be alone, no one loving me, and I couldn’t do it. I knew that I had to work. I had to make sure that I never quit and did everything I could to secure my future. I thought I was on my own. I never believed in trusting someone, in being in love, but Jude, that all changed the moment I met you. You’ve opened my eyes, my heart, and now I know I don’t need anything but the love of the people I love.”

  Chancing it, I take a step toward him, and thank God, he doesn’t move. I then reach out, lacing my fingers with his, and I shake all over from the connection. I’ve been dreaming of touching him for the last two weeks, and to feel his warm, callused hands against mine causes the tears to almost choke me as I try to talk again. Taking in a deep breath, I clear my throat and very softly, I say, “Everyone makes mistakes, and I made the biggest one, but I promise you I will work my ass off to prove that I love you and that I will never lie to you or hurt you again. All I need is another chance. All I need is for you believe in me. I just need you to trust me again.”

  His eyes are swimming in tears as he looks into my eyes intensely. His chest is rising and falling very quickly, his lips parted as he breathes in and out. My stomach feels empty, fluttery even, and everything inside me is frozen waiting for him to respond. When his lips start to move, nothing comes out, and I squeeze his fingers, my heart stopping. Suddenly he brings me to him and then his lips are moving against mine. I sob against his lips, crumpling into his arms as he holds me close to him. Kissing my lips, the side of my mouth, my nose. A hysterical laugh leaves my lips, but when his lips meet mine again, I close my eyes tight, savoring this moment.

  When we part, he cups my face, looking deep into my eyes and everything just feels perfect. Magical even. Wrapping my arms around his torso, I smile and he smiles back.

  “I’ve dreamed of doing that every second I breathed.”

  I nod. “I’ve missed you so much.”

  He moves his nose along mine. “I’ve missed you way more.”

  As he moves his lips with mine, we hold each other as we kiss slowly, drawing out each kiss, making up for our time apart. Pulling back, I run my fingers through his beard and smile. “I’m so sorry.”

  “I forgive you,” he whispers against my mouth.

  I swear it’s like Mount Rushmore just fell off my shoulders. Leaning into him, I kiss the side of his mouth and say, “Thank you.”

  Smiling, he says, “You’re welcome, but really, I don’t think there is any other option but to trust you. It was my pride that kept me from you. I couldn’t let it go. I was worried that I would turn into my mom.”

  “I would never do that to you,” I promise.

  As he nods, his nose rubs against mine. “I know that now but it took me some time to realize that.”

  “What made you change your mind?”

  Pinching my jaw between his thumb and forefinger, he says, “I had someone tell me that that I had to think about never seeing your smile or hearing you say I love you, and if I could go on without it, then I didn’t need you. But if I couldn’t, then I had to let you into my heart and then I could make it better.”

  “So they went all ‘Hey Jude’ on you?”

  He nods. “To the fullest. It was kinda weird.”

  Running my hands up his back, I curl my hand along his shoulders and lean into him. “I’m glad they did, because we’re way better together than we are apart.”

  Closing his eyes, he places his lips so close to mine and then whispers, “I couldn’t agree more.”

  He then takes my lips with his, drawing the sweetest and hottest kisses out of me. I mold against him, cherishing every second his lips are on mine. Parting ever so slightly, he whispers, “I thought that I could let you go, and I thought that having yours lips tattooed on my chest would be a great reminder of our love, but all it did was make me realize that I don’t want memories, I want us. I want to be with you for the rest of my life, Claire. When I watched you dance tonight, I knew I couldn’t let my baby go to Vegas without knowing her man is right beside her, cheering her on.”

  “So you heard?” I ask, my lips curving in a grin.

  “Oh yeah, and man, I’m so proud of you,” he says with a beautiful grin on his face. Seeing it makes my heart hurt since I missed it so much. “The crazy thing is I trust you on that stage. If you want to dance, go ahead. You don’t need to, but if you want to, I support you and I love you.” My heart warms, my head feels fuzzy, and I can’t believe the words that are coming out of his mouth. Smiling, he says, “It took losing you to know that. I had to grow a little more, and I think we needed those two weeks to realize that this wasn’t some fast, crazy love, that this is real.”

  “It is real,” I say through tears. “I knew that from the beginning.”

  “Yeah, I think so too.”

  “But I won’t ever be on that stage. My contract is strictly to be a director and choreographer of the revue.”

  He lets out a breath and says, “Oh, thank God.” I start to laugh and he smiles, holding me close to him. “I would have supported you, though.”

  “I know, and I’ll always support you,” I breathe, running my fingers through his hair. “I don’t want to ever be apart, but there is a good chance we will be.”

  “I know, especially with you going off to Vegas and me going wherever, but Claire, you know that you’re it for me, right?”

  “I’ve always known that,” I whisper, moving my thumb along his beard, my heart exploding for this guy. “And we will be fine.”

  “Of course we will because you’re the one. You’ve always been the one.”

  I couldn’t say it better myself. Wrapping my arms tighter around him, I go to goo when he hugs me back just as tightly. With his mouth so close to mine, he looks into my eyes and I want to cry I’ve missed him so much, but now I’ll never have to miss him like that again. We may be apart in the future, but I’ll always know that he’s mine and I am his. We’re going to fight and we’re going to want to kill each other, but in the end, we will always love each other, and I can’t wait to see what the future holds.

  Getting lost in his gaze, I smile, running my thumb along his jaw. With a grin on his face, he kisses the side of my mouth and I suck in a deep breath, completely in awe of him. This is my boyfriend, my man, and I get to spend the rest of my days figuring out ways to show to him that he’s mine, and I know he’ll do the same.

  “By the way,” he says against my lips. “I love you.”

  I’ve never been one to believe words – I’m an action kind of girl – but when Jude’s eyes meet mine and those three words leave his lips, I completely believe him.

  So with a grin on my face, my head dizzy from the hit of love he just gave me, I whisper, “By the way, I love you too. So very much more.”

  “Just want I wanted to hear,” he says w