Whiskey Prince Read online

Kane shakes his head. “I don’t know.”

  That’s not a good enough answer for me. “Well, I’m going to fuckin’ find out!”

  Passing by him, I go out the door and out to where Cathmor is waiting for me by a tree. Kane is running behind me, coming to a halt beside me. “What are you doing?”

  “I’m going to go see Amberlyn and find out why she lied to me.”

  “Now?”

  “Seems like as good a time as any,” I reply before I greet my horse.

  “Well, it just seems like you’re mad. I think you might want to calm down.”

  “Well, it’s either her or Casey. Pick one.”

  “Ugh, neither? Let’s get drunk,” he suggests, but I know I can’t do that. If I do, I’m bound to do something stupid. I shake my head, looking back at Kane.

  “I’ll calm down before I get there. I need to know why she lied to me. Why she didn’t tell me what was going on. Why doesn’t she trust me?”

  I have so many questions but I don’t want to sound like a total eejit, spilling my heart out to my best friend. I feel like I did the day before when she told me she was going out with him, like a failure, something I don’t like. I don’t understand what I have done not to earn her trust. I thought I had been really open with her, but maybe I haven’t. I don’t know, but I know I need answers and I need them now.

  Thankfully, Kane doesn’t say anything more and within seconds, Cathmor is carrying me to where I need to be.

  And that’s with Amberlyn.

  I just want to go back to bed.

  My head is pounding, and I just feel empty. Add the stuff that is happening with Casey and Declan to the fact that today is just a ‘bad Mom and Dad day,’ and that means I am just having the worst day ever. I woke up feeling like shit. Utter crap. I miss my mom, I miss my dad, I hate what Casey did, and I hate how things have played out with Declan. The night before has played over and over in my head, and I keep trying to figure out if there was a way I could have prevented it from happening.

  Maybe I should’ve never gotten involved with him. Maybe I should have listened to the warning signs when they were flashing in my face. The first time he kissed me without even knowing my name should have told me that he wasn’t the guy I was meant to get involved with. Instead, I used him to distract me from my feelings for Declan, and I can’t believe how utterly stupid that was. I should have just left it alone, and let everything play out. Instead, I made bad choice after bad choice and now, I just feel stupid. Downright dumb. I don’t even know what I was thinking. He isn’t my type, and I still took the risk when it wasn’t the right one to take.

  Blah.

  I’ve always seen myself with someone like my dad. My dad was so respectful, worked hard to provide for his family, and loved with everything inside of him. There wasn’t a day, and still isn’t one, that I didn’t know he loved me. It was all in his eyes and the things he did. He would buy my mom flowers just because, and he would leave little notes for me. He was never too tired to do things with my mom and me. We were his world, and I always said I would be with someone like him.

  The main thing is that I want to be wooed, I want to be wined and dined, and I want the romance that my mom had. What a whirlwind it was! She didn’t like my dad at first, said he was obnoxious, but he wouldn’t give up. He relentlessly showed up wherever she was. He’d sing to her with a whole crowd around them. He’d bring her tokens of his love, little sweet nothings she called them, that made her fall for him completely. He promised her the world and he gave it to her, she said, the day I was born.

  Clearing my throat, I look away from the customer talking to me to collect myself. This isn’t the place to reminisce about my family, but I just miss them so much. It seems like I never stop thinking about them. Sometimes I wonder if I would be the same person I am now if I had both of them today. I know I probably wouldn’t be in Ireland, but would I still be the naïve girl that I am? Never been thoroughly kissed by a man, never been in bed with one, or even touched in a sexual way. I don’t know why I am thinking so much about being a virgin but, since last night, that’s the second thing that has been flooding my thoughts.

  All I could think as Casey was forcing himself on me was that I was going to be raped my first time. I know it happens to women all the time, and I hate that more than I can ever express, but I always pictured my first time, like every other girl, all romantic and sweet with the man I love. Or even hot and passionate, in the back of my long-time boyfriend’s car, because we didn’t have anywhere to go since both our parents were home. I never got that though. I never really did anything wrong. I was always the perfect daughter. I’m not saying I want to start doing crazy shit, but I just want to stop feeling like my life has been nothing up to this point.

  Because I know it hasn’t. I cared and loved my mother until her dying breath. I was and still am a straight A student. I know how to run a household and I know how to love, because I watched two of the most unbelievable people in the world do it. I just hate that I let myself get in the position I did last night and more than anything, I hate that I pushed Declan away today.

  I should have told him about Casey, maybe not all of what happened, but I just couldn’t. I am so embarrassed, and I’m positive he’d think I am as stupid as I feel. A stupid, naïve girl that isn’t worth his time. It was bad enough that I turned him down despite my gut feeling not to, but now I put myself in a position with Casey. One I don’t like. I mean, I get that flowers are a good things to send when you need to apologize, but I am sure that Kane’s message was clear when he told him to stay the hell away from me. I guess that Casey didn’t fully understand that.

  Instead, he spent money of a beautiful bouquet of yellow daisies and wrote me a note that he really shouldn’t have because I do not intend to speak to him ever again. Even though I threw the flowers and card away, I’ll never forget the words he messily wrote to me.

  Amberlyn,

  I am sorry for the way I acted last night. I never meant to hurt you or make you feel that I forced you into something you did not want. I assumed you felt for me what I feel for you and acted on the feelings. I hope that we can move on from this and maybe you will consider giving me another chance. I know that we just met but I just feel this insane attraction to you, and I hope you feel the same.

  Casey.

  I still can’t believe he actually thinks I want to have anything to do with him. He scared the living shit out of me, and I don’t think I’d ever be able to be with him alone. I don’t know if I believe the stories that I have heard since. Of course, it is still only a rumor, but I was there to feel him dig his nails in my face and that alone has me not wanting to be anywhere near him. The mere thought has me physically shaking as I fill my regular’s pint.

  “You all right?”

  I look up at Fiona. “Sure. Just super tired.”

  She moves around me, filling her own pints. As she does, she leans in and whispers, “I heard you crying, Amberlyn. I know you’re not. You can talk to me.”

  I move around her to pass a pint before grabbing another. “I know I can, but not now. I’m fine.”

  She looks around, cupping my shoulder in a loving way. “All right, we won’t be busy much longer.”

  “I hope not.” I sigh as I put a fake smile on my face when my favorite college guy comes to the bar.

  “I love you, Amberlyn. Marry me?”

  I smile. “Sorry Brian, I’m not in the marrying mood tonight.”

  He looks deflated for only a second before he asks, “Mrs. Maclaster, are you and your husband still together?”

  My aunt Shelia laughs loudly from where she is working the register. “Of course, we are, Brian. Go on before I call your gran!”

  Brian’s eyes widen before he scurries off with the pint I filled. He is always here for a good laugh, but tonight I just don’t feel like laughing. Letting out a sigh, I reach for the plates my uncle placed on the food counter and serve them to table nine. My patrons a