Wild Tendy (IceCats Book 2) Read online

  I roll over, excited to see her, only to find she isn’t here. I blink a few times. I know I went to bed with her last night. I sit up quickly, looking around. “Aviva?”

  No answer.

  And her clothes are gone.

  And so are her rubber boobs that I had picked up and placed on the nightstand in the night.

  What the fuck?

  I throw the blankets off my naked body and head into the living room. My heart is pounding in my chest, and I’m utterly confused. Why would she leave? I thought we’d go to breakfast, hang out, anything other than her leaving.

  “Aviva?” I call out, but no answer.

  I check the bathroom, the patio, and finally, I accept that she’s not here. I search the house for a note. Something telling me why she left or even her phone number so I can call. Sweat is dripping down my back and beading along my brow. I can’t find any sign of her, and I don’t understand. Did she not have a good time? Did I not satisfy her? Did she not like me?

  My throat starts to tighten as I rack my brain, replaying the whole night. The hot touches, the sweet glances, and the talking. We talked a lot. She shared part of herself that she’s never shared with anyone. Why would she do that if she didn’t want to be here? If she didn’t want to be with me? My heart is pounding in my chest to the point that I need to sit down. I lower myself into a chair as I inhale deeply. Did I let her see too much of me? Was I too honest? Was it the come thing? Did she want me to come on her? She seemed okay with it, didn’t even laugh when I went to get a towel. She was understanding, cool, and even with the cuddling thing, she was good. Or at least, she seemed like she was. Fuck. Why the fuck did she leave?

  No one has ever left. Usually I have to kick women out of my bed, but she left. Just left. No note, no number, no nothing. Gone. I realize I’m breathing really hard, and I sit back in my chair. I lean my head off the side as I draw in deep breaths and let them out. What if it was all a lie? What if she thought I was a head case? I had mentioned my therapist a few times. Did she figure it out? Fuck me… What the hell happened?

  I feel like I’m suffocating. My eyes are crossing, and I feel my skin crawling. What if she figured it out and couldn’t stand to be near me? What if she thought I was pathetic? What if she thought I was a weirdo? I swallow hard before I stand up quickly, reach for my helmet, and then sit on the floor. I slam it down over my head, needing the protection. I cross my arms over my chest, taking in deep breaths and trying to calm down. As the years have passed, I’ve learned how to cope when I get like this. As pathetic as it is, the helmet helps. Maybe Aviva figured that out, or she assumed so when I wouldn’t let her touch it. It is my grandfather’s, though. My safe haven. Through the cage, I stare at the wall as my vision normalizes. My breathing is still heavy, but my chest doesn’t hurt. I take in deep breaths, forcing myself to let them out slowly.

  “Is there a reason why you’re sitting on the floor, naked, with your helmet on?” I don’t even look at Chandler or acknowledge him. “Is this some kinky sex game you play? I mean, I get you’re good on the ice, but I’ve never known someone to whack off while they wear their gear. Interesting, though I don’t think I’m gonna try it. I get off just fine with my sexy woman.”

  I hear him moving around my kitchen. He is dropping off some food from his mom. She makes me dinners for the week because she spoils me. I lick my lips as I continue to stare at the wall.

  I hear him lean on the counter. “Didn’t you have someone over last night? When I went for my run, the lights were on, and I saw her.”

  Finally, I trust myself to respond. “Yeah.”

  I peel the helmet off and lay it in my lap, though Chandler has seen me naked plenty. Neither of us cares. “Are you okay?”

  I swallow past the lump in my throat. “She just left.”

  “Who?”

  “Aviva.”

  “Aviva? That’s a really cool name.”

  It is. She is a cool chick. When she’s not fucking leaving without a word or a note! “She just left. No note. No number. Nothing. Gone.”

  I look up at him as his eyes widen. “This is a first.”

  “It is.”

  He nods and then shrugs. “Dude, it happens. Sometimes it’s good for you but not her—”

  “No!” I roar, standing up and throwing down my helmet. “It was fucking good for both of us. We had a damn good time, and we clicked. For the first time in almost a year, I felt like I could click with someone else other than Shelli.”

  Chandler holds his palms up at me. “Whoa, dude. I didn’t fuck you and leave. Don’t take this out on me.”

  I grip the counter and take in a deep breath. My heart is jackhammering in my chest, and I hate this feeling. What did I do wrong? Nothing. I did nothing wrong. “I was honest, I was up front, and I told her what I did and didn’t like.”

  “Good, but that doesn’t mean that’s why she left. Did she have something to do?”

  “Probably, but why didn’t she leave a note?”

  “Couldn’t find a pen?”

  “Or she thought I was fucking crazy!” I yell, shaking my head and feeling stupid. “This is why I keep shit to myself—”

  “But you don’t. You try, but then things get messy and you freak.”

  He’s right, but still. “Whatever. I just don’t understand. I told her I didn’t like bars, and that’s how we ended up here—”

  “Was it a line to get her here?”

  I mush my brows together. “What?”

  “Did she think it was a hookup?”

  “No,” I say, but then I’m unsure. “Well, I don’t know. I mean, it wasn’t a line for me. It wasn’t a hookup for me.”

  “Did you tell her that? Did you two talk about it?”

  I give him a dry look. “No, Chandler, we were too busy fucking!”

  He rolls his eyes. “Then what do you expect?”

  “Dude, you don’t get it!” I yell, heading to my bedroom since my cock keeps slapping my thighs. I reach for a pair of shorts. “She shared shit with me, and I thought I meant something to her.”

  “What shit?”

  “Personal shit. I’m not telling you!”

  I walk back out, and he’s staring at me. “Why, thank you so much. I know you think that thing is too big to contain, but it’s not.”

  “Shut up,” I grumble at him as I run my fingers through my hair. “I just don’t get it.”

  “Why are you so upset? So, she left. Go find someone else. You’re not hurting for females.”

  “No, it was different. She’s different. Fuck.” I inhale sharply as I crouch down, cradling my head. “I actually feel something when I’m with her. Like, I want to be myself. Damn it. What if she isn’t into me? What if this was all a joke? But it doesn’t seem like that.”

  I feel him staring at me. “Nico.” I glance up, but I don’t want to look in his eyes. “What in the hell is going on?”

  I shrug, and I feel so small. I’m bigger than Chandler in every way, but right now, I feel like I come to his waist. “It’s the same shit, different girl.”

  “What?”

  “Shelli didn’t want me and left me. Dumped me because I wasn’t Aiden Fucking Cuntbasket Brooks. I thought maybe Aviva wanted me, that I was good enough. I mean, I’m not saying it was love at first sight, let’s get married and have babies, but shit, I wanted her to like me.”

  I know this surprises my best friend and probably confuses him. I don’t share feelings with him much. He’s the touchy-feely one. I don’t know how many times I listened to how much he loved Amelia and blah, blah, blah. Now it’s me. Now I’m blah, blah, blah.

  “Nico, who says she doesn’t? Maybe she had somewhere to be?”

  “Where is the note? The phone number? Dude, I mean, it’s not that hard.”

  Chandler shrugs. “I’m giving her the benefit of doubt that maybe she got overwhelmed and bounced. Figured she’d see you sooner rather than later.”

  I didn’t think of that