Dark Guardian #2: Full Moon Read online

  “I’m a Dark Guardian. That’s my job.”

  “You’re a novice. You can’t heal like we do. You can’t transform, and you can’t escape as easily if there’s danger.”

  “You’re not mad about the danger,” I said softly.

  “Do you want to be with him? I mean, are you going to choose him?”

  “I don’t know, Connor. But he’s not the only reason I’m here. I asked to come because I wanted to help. Maybe because we found Dallas, and I feel partly responsible for his death.”

  Connor looked shocked by my words. “It’s not your fault.”

  “In a way it is, because of the whole blackberries incident—but whatever. I wanted to feel useful; I wanted to take an active part in making Bio-Chrome pay. I didn’t want to guide birdwatchers. It’s not the first time I’ve opted for adventure over the ordinary.”

  Some of Connor’s anger dissipated, and his mouth twitched toward a smile. I knew he was remembering a dozen occasions when I’d convinced him to do something that eventually got us into trouble. I didn’t always think through to the ramifications of my choices, but we’d always had fun.

  Gently, he tucked my hair behind my ear. “Do you…do you love him?”

  He wouldn’t say Rafe’s name, as though if we talked about him in the abstract, he wouldn’t be significant. I told him the truth.

  “I don’t know. I didn’t expect it to be this hard. Kayla said she felt an instant connection with Lucas, and Brittany doesn’t feel a soul-deep connection with anyone. I care about both you and Rafe. I don’t want to hurt either one of you, and I worry that I’ll make the wrong decision.”

  “Maybe you need to stop worrying about it. Just”—he sighed—“let us figure it out.”

  By us, I knew he meant him and Rafe. I scoffed. “Yeah, that’s gonna work.”

  “I was winning,” he said petulantly.

  It was such a guy thing to say.

  “I thought you were the one who wanted us to be more civilized,” I reminded him.

  “Hey, I was civilized. I didn’t shift.”

  Any other time, I would have laughed. Instead, leaning over, I put my head on his shoulder. “I’m sorry I don’t know the answer.”

  “Yeah. Me, too.”

  He put his arm around me and we sat there for a while, just absorbing the feel of each other. We were always like this. We were each other’s rock. But did it make us each other’s destiny?

  After a while, we got up and walked back into the main part of the cavern. It didn’t even register with me that we were holding hands—until I saw Rafe leaning against a wall and his gaze dipped to where our hands were joined. A storm of emotions passed through his eyes.

  “I’ll keep watch tonight,” he said tersely, and he strode out of the cavern before anyone could respond.

  I wanted to go after him, but Connor squeezed my hand. Was it a silent plea to stay with him, or a reminder that we’d been together forever? How loyal was I supposed to be while I figured things out?

  “I’ll fix us a place to sleep,” he said quietly.

  I glanced over to where Connor was laying out a sleeping bag on the opposite side of the cavern from where Kayla was preparing one for her and Lucas. I rubbed my hands up and down my arms. I’d never slept beside Connor. If he was truly my destined mate, shouldn’t I be excited about it instead of worrying that it might be awkward? And could I sleep beside him tonight, knowing that I’d slept beside Rafe last night?

  When everything was ready, he took my hand and led me over to the pallet. It took us a while to get settled. I bumped his chin with my head. He chuckled, told me to relax. I shifted around until my back was to him and he was spooned around me. His arm came around me and I threaded my fingers through his. He smelled different than Rafe. He felt different than Rafe.

  Lucas turned out the lantern and plunged us into darkness. I could hear him and Kayla talking low, like lovers do.

  “This doesn’t feel right, Connor,” I whispered.

  “Okay, roll over and put your head on my shoulder.”

  “No, that’s not what I meant. Lying here with you…If you were the one guarding us tonight, would you want me here, sleeping beside Rafe?”

  “It’s not the same, Lindsey. Until you decide otherwise, you’re mine. I have a symbol representing your name inked on my shoulder.”

  “So does he,” I said quietly.

  I felt him tense, right before he cursed. The ink was never done lightly, and Connor knew it.

  “He didn’t declare for you in front of everyone. I did.”

  “It’s not about who observes more traditions. It’s about our hearts.”

  “You’ve always had mine.”

  I squeezed my eyes shut. One minute he was understanding, and the next he was making it so difficult by declaring his feelings. I didn’t doubt his. I no longer doubted Rafe’s. I doubted mine. But how did I explain that?

  THIRTEEN

  Connor fell asleep. I was pretty sure that Lucas and Kayla had drifted off as well. I, on the other hand, didn’t sleep. Not a wink. I kept thinking about Rafe and the storm of emotions in his eyes before he’d walked out. After the fight, I’d consoled Connor. I should have done the same for Rafe. Guilt over what I was beginning to feel for him had kept me from his side. It was totally unfair.

  Gingerly, I eased away from Connor. He was fast asleep, dead to the world. I crept toward the cavern’s covered opening. Although it was dark, I knew my way around the cavern, and there was nothing for me to trip over. I slipped outside, surprised to discover the sun just starting to lighten the sky.

  I glanced around but couldn’t see Rafe. He’d said he was going to guard us, but I didn’t think we really needed a guard. We were pretty well hidden. I suspected he just wanted to avoid another fight.

  A shiver went through me. It was cold out, but there was more to it than just the chill in the air. Something didn’t feel right—just like the night we found Dallas. I had a sense that something ominous was lurking around.

  I started to go back into the cavern when I heard movement off to the side, from the direction that Rafe and I had originally arrived at the lair. Pressing back against the wall of the mountain, trying to make myself as invisible as possible, I inched stealthily along the path, holding my breath, trying not to make any sort of noise. I wasn’t certain what I’d do if I ran into anyone, but I felt like I needed to check it out.

  I went around a curve in the pathway and rammed into someone. My heart jumped into my throat, turning my scream into a pitiful squeak. Then, with a rush of relief, I realized it was Rafe. I pressed my hand to my thundering heart. “Oh my God! You scared me. I thought you were Bio-Chrome.”

  I took a couple of deep breaths, trying to calm my erratic heart. Rafe was all but ignoring me as he pulled his T-shirt down over his head.

  “What are you doing?” I asked.

  “Getting dressed.” He dropped down and began pulling on his hiking boots.

  I crouched beside him. “I thought you were going to keep watch.”

  “Felt a need to run instead.”

  I knew without asking that he’d shifted in order to do it.

  “I thought about not coming back,” he said as he jerked on his shoelace and tightly tied it. “But I’ve never been one for avoiding a situation. If you loved him, why didn’t you just say so?”

  Him. He was doing the same thing as Connor: not using his name, as though that somehow lessened whatever he was feeling.

  “I don’t blame you for being mad because I went to him in the cavern. I shouldn’t have. Or maybe I should have gone to you as well, given you equal time. I’m sorry I didn’t come to you sooner. I’m sorry about a lot of things, but I’m not sorry that you and I have had this time together. You want to hear something crazy? It was Connor’s idea.”

  “Like hell.”

  “No, really. Right before we found Dallas, we were arguing about you. He said I needed to spend time with you. Now he says he