Hurt the One You Love Read online

  "Jeremy? That nerdy gamer with the glasses?" Teresa stretched herself into another pose Simone wasn't even going to try.

  "Yes. Him. Five-nine, a hundred and forty pounds, and a nine-inch cock." Simone grinned. "I used to tease him that it was his secret weapon. His power-up."

  Teresa shifted a little. "I'd never have guessed."

  "Nobody did. And he knew how to use it, too." Simone smiled fondly, remembering, then shivered a little bit. "It was when my hair was longer, and he used to wind his fingers in it while we were watching movies or whatever. Just sink his fingers into my hair and tug, tug, tug. We were at that stage where just about anything he did to me got me all hot and bothered, but I wasn't confident enough to make the first move, usually--"

  Teresa laughed. So did Simone. She rolled onto her back to do some pelvic thrusts.

  "It's true!"

  "I have known you since we were twelve years old. I don't think you've ever been not confident to do anything," Teresa said.

  Simone smiled, but it quirked a little. "Yeah. Well. I'm not always."

  She thought of Elliott telling her he didn't want to see her again. It had taken confidence to go to his office, and look where it got her. She frowned, wriggling halfheartedly on the mat.

  "Screw that Elliott guy," Teresa said, knowing Simone well enough, as always, to figure out what she was thinking. "He's not worth it."

  "Ugh."

  "Hey! I mean it! If he can't appreciate how lucky he was that you even ever gave him the time of day, he's not worth it." Teresa shook her head.

  Simone laughed. "Yeah, he's really suffering without me."

  "I bet he is." Teresa gave her a knowing look.

  Simone had seen him in the lobby a couple times since that day, but she'd ignored him so fiercely there'd been no way to tell if he’d even been looking her way. She wasn't going to give him the satisfaction, even if by denying him she'd also denied herself. She'd even rearranged her office to face her desk a different way so she wouldn't be tempted to spy on him in his office.

  "So. Jeremy," Teresa prompted.

  That was the way of conversation with good friends. It went around and around in a circle until you ended up at least somewhere close to where you'd started, even if it took a damned long time to get there.

  Simone laughed and shook her head, letting herself get lost in the pleasantly sexy memories. It had become so much a part of her that she hadn’t thought about it in a long time, this desire for pain. She and Tree, sweet Tree who’d been with the same man since eleventh grade, had never discussed it. Tree knew Simone was kinky the way she knew Simone had dark hair . . . it was a part of her.

  "He'd pull my hair and let his fingers run along the back of my neck. Over my shoulders. Touching me all over, you know? Driving me crazy. And so this one day, we're at his place, all his roommates are there, they're all playing video games, right? And the girlfriends are either hanging around trying to get their attention or in the kitchen making food, which you know, is so not me."

  Teresa laughed. "It probably wasn't really them, either."

  "Anyway, I'm playing along with the guys, and to give them credit, most of them aren't giant dickbags about it. Jeremy’s touching me all over, but totally sneaky about it. Pulling my hair. Tweaking my nipple. Sliding his hand between my legs every so often, you know? Getting me off right there in the middle of everyone, but nobody knew it." Simone shifted, glad for the thick sports bra that hid the fact her nipples were hard from the memories.

  "I bet someone knew it." Teresa chuckled.

  So did Simone, but the time to be embarrassed about it had long past. "Anyway, the soft little touches were driving me crazy, but it was the pinching that was making me lose my mind. Every time he did it, it was like a little spark got lit inside me, all of them gathering and making me hotter and hotter, until I thought I was going to explode. So then he tugs my hand, right? To get me to go with him into the bedroom, and we have to be fast because he shares that room with two other guys, right, and none of them have any concept of privacy. So we're in there and he's got his hands in my panties and he's fingering the hell out of me, and he's twisting my nipples, and I keep saying 'more, more, more,' and so he keeps going harder and harder. And then all of a sudden, just on the edge, I'm about to go over, and he . . ."

  Simone stopped herself, struggling to find the words adequate to describe how it had felt. She swallowed hard to keep her voice steady. She and Tree had shared a lot over the years, but . . . "I've never told anyone this before."

  Teresa smiled. "Keep going."

  Simone closed her eyes, remembering. "He smacked me across the face. And you'd think my first reaction would've been to punch him in the nuts, but I didn't, Tree. I fucking exploded. I mean, he smacked me hard enough to rock my head back--I'd have gone to my knees if he wasn't holding me up--and the pain was enough to make me see stars. Or maybe I was coming so hard I saw stars, I wasn't sure. All I knew was that nobody had ever hit me like that, and I knew I should've hated it, but I didn't."

  "Were you ashamed?"

  "No." Simone gave a breathless laugh. "I knew I was supposed to be. Or I was supposed to be angry at him. Something. But I wasn't. I loved it. And when I asked him what had made him do such a thing, all he could say was that he'd seen it in a porno movie and thought he'd try it."

  "Oh my god." Teresa laughed and shook her head as she manipulated herself into another set of poses. "What if you'd hated it?"

  "Right?" Simone punched the air, one-two-three, and burst into laughter. "What if I had punched him in the nuts or like, pressed charges for assault? It left bruises. Split my lip."

  "But you didn't."

  "I did not."

  Teresa shook her head. "You figured out that you liked it."

  "I did. And I guess I'd probably known it for a while, I mean, I don't remember it being a surprise. Other than how good it felt. And then I wanted to do it more and more, but we sort of stumbled around it, you know. Neither of us really had any idea how to go about it. And as it turns out, we didn't last much longer after that, anyway. But he was the first guy who helped me figure out what really, truly gets me off."

  "Think how sad it is for women who never figure it out."

  Simone nodded. "Yeah. Totally."

  "Wanna work on your core?"

  Simone groaned. "How about we drink margaritas and eat nacho chips instead?"

  "We could do that, too. Ed won't be back with the kids until closer to nine." Teresa grinned. "Sucker."

  Simone sat up, hugging her knees to her chest. There weren't many times when she envied her friend's life. Kids, husband, pets, house. But for a moment, something panged inside her.

  "You okay?" Teresa unfolded herself and stood in a fluid motion that emphasized her lean shape, unchanged even after kids.

  Simone got up, too, much less gracefully. She'd prided herself on trying to stay fit, but there was no denying that everything about her creaked when she got up. She steadied herself for a moment with a hand on the back of Teresa's armchair.

  "It's hard to find someone," Simone said.

  Tree frowned. "Is this about this guy again? This Elliott."

  Sudden, unbidden, and surprising tears burned in Simone's throat and her eyes. She blinked rapidly to keep them from falling. She cleared her throat, again struggling uncommonly to find the words to describe what she wanted to say.

  "Oh. Oh, honey." Teresa reached to hug her, and Simone let her. "Hey. Don't."

  "It's hard to find someone who gets it. Who gets what I like. And who likes it, too, without all the trappings and . . . and rigmarole. Without the bondage and submission stuff. And he gets it, Tree. He gets off on it, the way I do. And he's smart and beautiful and he smells so fucking good. And he's got this smile, Tree. He doesn't smile a lot, but when he does . . .it's amazing."

  "He sounds wonderful."

  "He is."

  "But he doesn't want to see you, honey."

  Leave it to Tree to