Secrets Read online

  “When I get this thing with Althea finished, then maybe you and I can be together, but not now. And I know that’s not right because you’ve waited so very long.”

  “Waited so long for Althea?”

  “No, of course not. Waited so long for me . Sometimes I think about it and I marvel that a little girl could make up her mind and never deviate from it. I could see it if you were born with a talent—say, to play the piano—and you grew up to be a concert pianist, but to see some man and set your heart on him and never let up even when you were an adult…” He looked at her with admiration in his eyes.

  At last, at long, horrible last, Cassie was beginning to understand what he was saying. “When did you and I first meet?” she whispered.

  Jeff squeezed her hands and smiled. “When you were twelve. It was just before Lillian and I got married and we found you facedown in a swimming pool. Do you know that you almost died?”

  Cassie pulled her hands out of his. “And you’ve always known that I was that girl? Ever since you hired me?”

  “Yes,” he said, but the smile left him. “Cassie, I kept track of you after that day at the pool. It was like I was responsible for you, so I kept in touch. Well, not in touch, exactly, but I kept tabs on you. I even had a copy of your grades in college sent to me.”

  “My grades sent to you,” she said softly.

  “Is something wrong? You don’t look so good.”

  “I’m fine. So you had my grades sent to you, then what?”

  “Nothing. After Lillian…died, I lost touch with you for a while, but then you started calling me about the nannies.”

  “I called you about the nannies?”

  “Sure,” he said, smiling again. “When they didn’t show up, that sort of thing. I can tell you that I was impressed that you’d managed to get a job at Elsbeth’s nursery school. You have a degree in American history but there you were, wiping snotty noses.”

  “But you knew that I’d done it to be near you,” Cassie said quietly.

  “Yeah,” Jeff said. “I knew it and I was pleased by it. It was good of you. But I didn’t know why you’d done it until you asked me for the job of taking care of my daughter.”

  “Then you understood everything.”

  “Yeah. Cassie? Are you sure you’re okay?”

  “Yes. Tell me about the part where you love me.”

  Again, he took her hands. “Of course I fell in love with you right away. How could any man not love you? You’re—”

  “Trustworthy and sweet,” Cassie said.

  “Yes,” he said hesitantly. “But you make it sound as though those are bad traits. I think they’re wonderful.”

  “But of course you’d want someone trustworthy and sweet to take care of your daughter and your father. Tell me, I’m just curious: Why didn’t you tell me that you loved me when you decided you did?”

  “The time wasn’t right.”

  “I see,” Cassie said, moving just a bit away from him. “And why should you tell me? You had a great life as it was. I was taking care of your home, your daughter, your father, and Skylar was taking care of your body. What more could you want in life?”

  “Ah, I see. You’re angry about Skylar. There’s more to that than I can tell you about.”

  “I know. Something about her father. But then, you didn’t have to explain things to me, did you? I was just good ol’ Cassie, quietly living in your home, baking myself into a stupor to take care of your life and your family. Why should you have to explain anything to me? Sweet, trustworthy Cassie, who had been in love with you since she was twelve years old. Tell me, Jeff, now, when you told me you were in love with me, what did you expect me to do?”

  “Cassie, you’re taking this wrong. What was I supposed to do when I first saw you at Elsbeth’s school? Embarrass you by telling you that I knew you were the girl who’d hidden in the bushes and followed me around when she was a kid? I couldn’t do that to you.”

  “So, instead, you let me call you, not Dana, as it was on Elsbeth’s cards, and tell you about the nannies. Then you let me ask you to give me a job that entailed living in your house. And you let me move in and take care of every aspect of your life. Tell me, Jeff, how hard did you laugh on those nights when I went downstairs when I knew you were down there alone?”

  “Cassie, it wasn’t like that. If you knew how much I wanted to take you in my arms and tell you what I felt—”

  “But you didn’t, did you? You let me do your laundry. You even let me mend your clothes. You let me do everything for you, all while you knew what I had done. I made you my lifelong goal, isn’t that what you said? I was like my mother and set myself out a goal, then I went after it. I’ll have to call her and tell her that I am just like her. I’m sure she’ll be so proud. She may not agree with my goal, but she’ll certainly understand that I went after it without so much as a thought about my dignity or my self-respect. The truth is that I never thought about myself at all.”

  “Cassie,” Jeff said, reaching for her as she got up. He stood up and tried to take her arm, but she pulled back. “Let’s talk about this. We’ll talk this through and maybe we can work things out.”

  “What does that mean?” she asked, glaring at him. “That in order to keep your maid, nanny, and cook, you’ll what? Decide that you can find time for me? Or maybe you’re going to tell me that you aren’t in love with Skylar after all, that you were just hinting that you were going to marry her for some reason that has to do with her father?”

  “It’s a great deal bigger than that,” Jeff said, his hands at his side. “There are things in my life that you know nothing about. Cassie, you can be angry with me all you want, but I’ve done nothing to be ashamed of.”

  “Okay, so tell me all about your life,” she said.

  “I can’t. I can’t tell you anything. I made a mistake in allowing you to get involved with Althea, and I made a mistake allowing you to come here.”

  “‘Allowing me?’ Is that what you said? Oh, I see. You think that since you’ve known me since I was a kid that you need to take care of me. But then you said that, didn’t you? What was it you said? You’re responsible for me.”

  “Cassie, please don’t do this. There are things that I can’t tell you. Things about Lillian’s death that influence every decision in my life.”

  “I’m willing to listen,” she said.

  “I’m sorry, but I can’t.”

  “Well, that’s that, then,” she said.

  “Cassie…,” he began as he reached for her. “I think I made a mess of everything. I’ve hurt you when I never meant to. I’ve worked hard to keep it light between us. I can’t begin to tell you how difficult it’s been to have you in my house and not be able to touch you. I wanted to do things like tonight.”

  “Dance?”

  “Yes. That and more. You’ve been good to all of us. You’ve made our lives pleasant and easy. You’ve—”

  “Saint Cassandra who does a strip on the countertop.”

  “I could have done without that,” Jeff said, grinning, but she didn’t smile back.

  “This has been a lot of information,” Cassie said. “I’m going to have to think about it all.”

  “Yeah, sure,” Jeff said. “Cassie—”

  She put up her hand. “I’ve heard more than I can process tonight,” she said, then went into the bedroom, shut the door, and began to quietly pack her bag.

  Thirty minutes later, she heard the shower running. She picked up her bag, tiptoed out of the room, and took Jeff’s keys off the top of the dresser in his bedroom. She slipped the car key off the ring and left the others. Silently, she left the cabin, got into his car, and drove away into the night. There was only one place and one person who she knew to go to: Althea.

  15

  Six Months Later

  Fort Lauderdale, Florida

  CASSIE STEPPED OFF THE TREADMILLand mopped the sweat off her face.

  “One hour?” her trainer, Xavier, said,