The Black Moth: A Romance of the XVIIIth Century Read online

  CHAPTER IV

  INTRODUCING THE LADY LAVINIA CARSTARES

  Richard went slowly back to his chair. After a moment he sat down,staring blankly out of the window, his hands loosely clasped on the deskbefore him. So he remained for a long while, immobile. At last, with thefaintest of sighs, he moved and picked up a quill. He dipped it in theink, and, with his other hand, drew towards him a sheaf of papers.Presently he was writing steadily.

  For perhaps twenty minutes the quill travelled to and fro across thepages; then it paused, and Richard looked up towards the door.

  It opened to admit Lady Lavinia. She came rustling into the room withher embroidery in her hand. She dropped her husband a mock curtsey andwent over to a high-backed armchair, stretching out a dimpled hand todraw it forward. But even as her fingers touched it she had changed hermind, and fluttered over to the couch, there to seat herself with muchswirling of brocades and arrangement of skirts. She then proceeded tooccupy herself with her work, plying her needle hurriedly and jerkily.

  Richard watched her in silence, following each turn of the pretty handand each movement of her fair head.

  The silence was evidently not to my lady's taste, for she presentlybegan to beat an impatient tattoo on the floor with one slender foot.Still he said nothing, and she raised her pure china-blue eyes to hisface.

  "Why so glum, Dick? Why do you not talk to me?" Her voice was ratherhigh-pitched and childish, and she had a curious way of ending eachsentence with an upward lilt and a long drawn-out accent, veryfascinating to listen to.

  Richard smiled with an obvious effort.

  "Am I, my dear? I crave your pardon. Warburton has just been."

  Her face clouded over instantly, and the full-lipped mouth droopedpetulantly.

  "He has seen him."

  "Oh?" She made the word twice its length, and filled it withdisinterest.

  "Yes. Jack will have none of it. He asks me to be his steward and to useWyncham as I will. He is very generous."

  "Yes, oh yes. And you will, Richard?"

  He ignored the question.

  "He--Warburton--says he is not much changed."

  "Oh?" Again the long-drawn monosyllable, accompanied by a tiny yawn.

  "He says he does not think--Jack--bears me ill-will--" He paused, as ifexpecting her to speak, but she was absorbed in arranging twoflowers--culled from a bowl at her side--at her breast, and took nonotice. Carstares turned his head away wearily.

  "If it were not for you, my dear, I would tell the truth. I believe Ishall go crazed an I do not."

  "Dick!" ... She dropped the flowers on the floor and thought no moreabout them. "Dick!"

  "Oh, you need have no fear! I do not suppose," bitterly, "that I havethe courage to face them all now--after six years."

  Lavinia moved restlessly, brushing her hand along the couch.

  "You will not do it, Richard? Promise! You _will_ not? I could not bearthe disgrace of it; promise me you will never do it?"

  "No," he said slowly, not looking at her. "No, I cannot promise that."

  She sprang to her feet, flinging her broidery from her carelessly, andwaved fierce, agitated little hands.

  "That means you will do it. You _want_ to disgrace me! You do not _care_how you hurt me by holding this threat over my head so cruelly! You--"

  "Lavinia, for heaven's sake!" he implored, pushing back his chair. "Calmyourself!" He knew she was about to fly into one of her sudden passions,and frowned with acute vexation.

  "I will not! Oh yes, yes! You think me a shrew! I know! I know! But youneed not frown on me, sir, for you are worse! No, I will not hush. I ama horrid woman, yes, but you are a cheat--a cheat--a cheat!"

  Carstares strode over to her.

  "Lavinia!"

  "No--no! Leave me alone! You make me miserable! You refuse me everythingthat I want most, and then you threaten to disgrace me--"

  "That is untrue!" cried Richard, goaded into replying. "I will notpromise, that is all. What have I refused you that was within my meansto give you? God knows you try your best to ruin me--"

  "There! There! 'Tis _I_ who am to blame! Pray, did you not induce mylord to leave his money to John when you knew he would have willed itall to you an you had kept silence? You took no thought to me--"

  "For heaven's sake, Lavinia, be still! You do not know what you aresaying!"

  She pressed her hands to her hot cheeks.

  "No--I am unreasonable! I know it, but don't _tell_ me so, for I cannotbear it! And don't look reproach at me, Richard! You drive me mad, Itell you!" She was sweeping up and down the room like some caged animal,lashing herself to a worse fury.

  "Say something, Richard! _Do_ something! Don't stand there so quietly!Oh, you should never have married me! I displease you, and you make meworse; and you do not see how 'tis that I cannot live without pleasure,and money! I am despicable? Yes, yes, but what are you? Oh, why did youtell me you cheated _after_ you had wedded me?" Angry sobs escaped her;her handkerchief was in shreds upon the floor.

  Carstares turned his back to her, that she might not see how she hadcontrived to hurt him, and the movement drove her to fresh fury.

  "Don't do that! Don't! Don't! You make me worse by your dreadfulsilence! Oh, if you really loved me!"

  "You cannot doubt that!" he cried out, wheeling suddenly round. "Youknow how I love you! Don't you?" He gripped her by the shoulders andswung her to face him.

  She trembled and gave a sobbing little laugh. As suddenly as it hadcome, her anger left her.

  "Oh, yes, yes! You do love me, Dicky?" She twined her arms about hisneck and shrank closer.

  "God help me, yes!" he groaned, thrusting her away. "And you--you carefor no one save yourself!"

  "No! No!" she cried, pressing up to him again. "Do not say that, Dick.Indeed, I love you, but I cannot live without gaiety--you know Icannot. Oh, I do not doubt but what I am very selfish, but 'tis the wayI am fashioned, and I cannot change my nature. And now I have hurt you,and I did not mean to! I did not mean to!"

  "My dear, I know you did not; but try to be less a child, I beg of you!You are so uncontrolled, so--"

  "I knew you would say that," she answered in a dead voice. "You do notunderstand me. You expect me to be good, and patient, and forbearing,and I tell you 'tis not in my nature."

  "But, Lavinia, you can control your passions," he said gently.

  "No! I cannot! We Belmanoirs--as God made us, so we are--and He made usspendthrift, and pleasure-loving, and mad!" She walked slowly to thedoor. "But you do not understand, and you try to make me staid, andthoughtful, and a good mother, when I am dying for _life_, andexcitement, and care not that for housewifery!" She opened the doorslowly. "And now my head aches, and you look grave and say 'tis mywicked temper, when I want you to be sorry, and to be ready to doanything to comfort me. Why can you not take me to London, when you knowhow I long to be there, instead of in this gloomy house with nought todo, save mind my child and my needle? I am so tired of it all! So verytired of it all!"

  She would have left the room then, but he detained her.

  "Wait, Lavinia! You say you are unhappy?"

  She released the door handle and fluttered her hands expressively.

  "Unhappy? No, I am dull. I am ill-tempered. I am discontented. I amaught you please, so do not be sad, Richard. I cannot bear you to besolemn. Oh, why do we quarrel?" With one of her impulsive movements shewas again at his side, with her beautiful face upturned. "Love me,Richard! Take me to London and never mind an I _do_ squander your money.Say you do not care! Say that nothing matters so long as I am happy! Whydo you not say it? Does anything matter? Don't be prudent, Dicky! Bewild! Be reckless! Be anything rather than grave and old!" Her armscrept up to his coaxingly. "Take me to London!"

  Carstares smoothed the soft hair back from her forehead, very tenderly,but his eyes were worried.

  "My dear, I will take you, but not just yet. There is so much to be donehere. If you will wait a little longer--"

  "Ah,