Hunger Moon Rising Read online

  “Dani…” I squeezed my hands into fists, feeling the solid steel key ring crumple and contort like a cheap wire hanger in my grip. “God!” I exploded, my voice echoing down the empty street.

  “Don't you mean 'Goddess'?” Dani inquired coldly. “Isn't that who you pray to?” She shook her head. “I thought you were a Buddhist—a pacifist.”

  “I am,” I said, still struggling for control.

  “Tell that to the guy you beat to a bloody pulp in there.” She motioned at the bar again.

  I took a deep breath. “I explained why I had to do that.”

  “Oh, right.” She put her hands on her hips, her anger obviously overcoming her fear. “It's part of the rules of this weird secret society you apparently belong to. You had to either beat him up or…or fuck me.” The word seemed to stick in her throat and she turned pale.

  I nodded, unable to deny it. “Yes. That's pack protocol.”

  “Pack? Pack? What pack? What the hell are you talking about, Ben? And who or what are you?” she demanded, her eyes blazing.

  “I'm the same person you've always known,” I said. “The same man who's been your best friend and partner for the last five years.”

  “Bullshit,” she spat. “That's complete and utter bullshit. The Ben I know wouldn't have grabbed that bum in the alley last night. The Ben I know wouldn't have beaten that man in the bar. The man who's been my friend for the last five years wouldn't have grabbed me and…and…” She shook her head, her hand coming up unconsciously to wipe her lips as though she was trying to wipe away all traces of my kiss.

  “Fine, you're right.” I felt the tension building in my muscles and made a conscious effort to relax. I couldn't let this confrontation push me into a change—I couldn't. I took several deep breaths. “I've worked very hard to be that man,” I told her. “But you're right—tonight, I wasn't the same Ben you've come to know.”

  Her mouth twisted into a disbelieving sneer. “Listen to you, talking about yourself like there are two of you. Are you going to blame your behavior on some kind of multiple personality disorder? And what about your face? How did you heal so quickly?”

  “That's part of it,” I said, reaching up reflexively to touch the place where my cheek had healed with supernatural quickness. “Of what I am.”

  “Which is what? An alien? A god? A superhero?”

  “A werewolf,” I said. “Dani, I'm a werewolf.”

  “You're a what?” She seemed to be having trouble wrapping her mind around the concept, which I could understand. My partner was nothing if not practical, and the idea of supernatural creatures living and working among humans would not exactly fit into her worldview.

  “It's true,” I said quietly. “I'm a were. A shapeshifter.”

  Dani's eyes got wide. “You're telling me this after you acted like that poor man, McKinsey's father, was crazy when he came in shouting—”

  “Well he was crazy,” I protested.

  “Apparently not as crazy as I was led to believe,” she shot back, her eyes flashing.

  “You're right,” I said. “I guess I deserved that.”

  “Damn straight.” Dani gestured to the moon, which was almost full, riding high in the black sky overhead, dodging in and out of the ragged, wispy clouds. “So if you're a…a…”

  “A werewolf,” I supplied.

  “Yeah.” She nodded. “If you're a…that, then why haven't you changed by now?”

  “Because.” I clenched my fists at my sides again, distorting the key ring even more. I tried to keep my voice low and controlled. “Because I'm resisting it with everything in me. I'm holding myself back, the same way I've been holding myself back all night.”

  Her eyes widened, and I could tell she'd gotten my message. I wasn't just holding myself back from changing—I was holding myself back from taking her, from claiming her and making her mine the way every fiber of my being insisted she should be. God, how I wanted her! I would have taken her right there against the side of her car if she hadn't been looking at me with such fear in her eyes.

  My need to be inside her, filling her, fucking her, owning her, must have shown on my face because Dani took a wary step back.

  “I guess this…explains a lot,” she said in a slightly breathy voice. “The way you got so upset when McKinsey's father came running in yelling about werewolves. The way you've wanted nothing to do with this story from the first.”

  “This story is dangerous,” I said. “For you and me both. You need to drop it, Dani. Whatever happened to McKinsey Cullen, she's gone now, and getting yourself mixed up in the local pack won't bring her back.”

  Dani frowned. “You're asking me to drop the story?”

  “Hell, yes, I'm asking you to drop the story. I'm telling you to,” I said. “Haven't you heard a word I've said, Dani? Those people are dangerous. You could get hurt.”

  “I've already been hurt.” The look she gave me was sharper than any knife could have been. “And don't talk about those people like you're not one of them when you know damn well you are.”

  “Dani, I'm sorry—” I began. She held up a hand to stop me.

  “Tell me one thing, Ben. Do you know where McKinsey Cullen is? Did you or one of your…your pack do something to her? Is that why you're trying to keep me from going after this story? Because you have a personal stake in it?”

  “No.” I took a step forward, my voice filled with frustration, but Dani backed up again. Clearly she didn't trust me. I made myself stop and hold my ground. “No, Dani,” I said. “I swear to you—the other day when her father came bursting into the news room was the first time I had ever heard of McKinsey Cullen. I found out she was missing the exact same time you did. I didn't have anything to do with her—I have as little to do with any of this as I can.” I indicated The Cloven Hoof, meaning the whole were lifestyle.

  Dani's eyes narrowed to green slits. “Oh? Then why did you get so upset when I decided to follow it up and try to find her?”

  “Because I was afraid you'd find out. About me—about this.” I gestured at myself helplessly. “I…I didn't want you to know.”

  Dani sniffed. “Small wonder. Didn't want me to know you were living a double life doing God knows what to God knows who.”

  “It's not like that!” I burst out.

  “Oh?” Dani raised an eyebrow at me. “Okay, then what is it like? Can you deny you've been keeping this from me? Pretending to be someone and something you're not? Acting like one person when you're actually someone completely different inside?”

  “No, but, Dani, if you'd just let me explain…” I took a step toward her and this time she held her ground.

  “I've had about as many of your explanations as I can take tonight, Ben.” She held out her hand, palm up. “Now give me my Goddamn keys.”

  I untwisted the metal ring as best I could, forcing the steel to conform to a rough circle again, although it wasn't the perfectly smooth shape it had been. Dani didn't say a word as she watched me work with the metal, showing her my strength for the first time on purpose. She only kept her hand out, waiting until I was done.

  “Here.” I handed the mangled mass over to her, the keys dangling limply from their smaller rings on the larger, distorted one. “I'm sorry. For everything.” I put my hand on her shoulder, but she shrugged it off. “Dani, please,” I said. “You're the most important person in my life. Please say this isn't the end of our friendship.”

  She was looking down, studying her keys as though searching for the right one. When she looked up at me, her eyes were bright with unshed tears. “I thought I knew you, Ben,” she said, her voice breaking over my name. “But I never did. Not really. I trusted you.” She shook her head. “I guess I was wrong.”

  “Dani.” I stared at her helplessly and reached out a hand I knew she wouldn't take.

  She shook her head. “I have to go.” She unlocked the car with shaking hands and started the engine, staring straight ahead. I stood on the curb and watched her drive