Letting her head fall back, she swallowed hard and told herself to pull it together, that he didn’t love her. But a small voice inside of her whispered,

Maybe he does.

Letting her head fall forward, she looked at her reflection, and she shook her head. As she took in her flushed face, her eyes that were full of bewilderment, she decided she had no clue who or what Jordie Thomas was. She had not the slightest idea, and that meant she really needed to go to bed and eat her ice cream. At least she understood Ben & Jerry’s.

But before she could step away from the door, the strum of a guitar stopped her. It was faint, so of course, being the nosy one she was, she got closer. Her nose pressed to the door as the music fought to reach her, causing her heart to race. It was as if the music was getting louder and she worried that he would open the door, but he didn’t.

When Jordie’s low, rough voice started the lyrics to “Draw Me a Map” by Dierks Bentley, she closed her eyes, leaning her head against the door as his voice burst through the wood and washed over her. Each word of the song hit her square in the chest, and it gutted her. The words could be applied to them easily, but she wouldn’t read into it. She loved this song, he knew she loved this song, and he was singing it to her. Hoping she heard it. But she couldn’t tell him she had.

She had to let this go. Jordie wasn’t the man she wanted. He didn’t love her the way she loved him. She had to just walk away. But her feet wouldn’t move. And as the tears streamed down her face, she had no clue what she was going to do.

Leaning against the wall outside of the massage room, Jordie played on his phone while he waited for his turn. He probably didn’t need a rubdown, but if it meant Kacey touching him, he was there. She had been doing everything to avoid him; she wouldn’t even look at him while they worked out each day. When they were at the house, she acted as if he wasn’t there. He still picked at her every chance he got, just for her to acknowledge him, but it wasn’t enough. He needed more. It had been three days since he’d walked out of the shower in his birthday suit, and she still hadn’t looked him in the eye.

He didn’t know if he should chalk that up as a good thing or bad.

She wasn’t usually this quiet. She told him what she thought at all times and didn’t hold back. He was unsure what that meant and didn’t know how to proceed with her. Was she really happy with Liam? He honestly didn’t believe so. Especially with Lacey chirping in his ear that Liam was no competition. A part of him wanted to leave her be, let her be happy with someone else, but the selfish part of him wanted her with only him. Forever. He could be the one to make her happy, he believed that now. He just needed the chance.

He had spoken of her at his AA meeting the night before, and everyone urged him to wait it out if he really believed she was the one. The problem he was having was that he never did share well with others. Kacey was his. He just needed her to remember that and leave Liam in her dust. He also didn’t understand why she hadn’t asked him what he wanted to talk about. Anytime he brought it up, she’d basically run. It was really weird and out of character for her. It was as if they both had changed from the shitty breakup, and he wanted nothing more than to know the girl he’d hurt. To mend the wounds he’d caused and love her more than she could ever imagine.

He just needed the chance.

Turning the Snickers in his hand that he had gotten for her, he waited for Shea to come out. It was a ballsy move to expect her to rub him down after the intense workout she’d inflicted on him, but Jordie was a lot of things, ballsy being one of them. He was craving her touch like a crackhead craved a hit. He needed it, and if this was the only way he could get it without crossing the lines of her relationship, he’d do it.

He knew she wouldn’t cheat, nor would he ask her to. One of the many reasons he’d never gotten into a relationship was because he couldn’t not cheat. It was in his blood; his mom was notorious for it. But now, after everything, he knew he would never do that to anyone.

Especially not Kacey.

He wanted her, his happily ever after. And after everything he had been through, changing himself completely, sobering up, he saw things in a different light. His mom issue was still loud and clear, but he was working on it. He wasn’t done with himself. He still had a lot of work to do, but the great thing about Kacey was that she wouldn’t hold him back—she’d lift him up. And he needed that lift from her. He was ready. At least he thought he was. Hoped he was. Prayed he was.

Letting out a long breath, his nerves getting the best of him, his phone vibrated with a text.

It was Natasha.

Natasha: What’s up?

Tucking the Snickers bar in his pocket, he typed her back.

Jordie: Nothing much. About to get a massage.

Natasha: Mm. Sounds like fun.

Jordie: It will be. U?

Natasha: Nothing much, just saving people.

Jordie: You do it the best. Make sure not to get trapped in the shower with a hockey player with a busted leg. I hear they are trouble.

Natasha: haha. Trouble, indeed. But no worries, you’re the only hockey player I’ll blow in a shower.

Jordie grimaced a little. He’d kind of brought that on himself, but he was trying to be funny. Trying to keep it light with her. He liked his friendship with Natasha, but lately, ever since he’d told her about Kacey and the baby, she had been coming at him hard with sex. Basically serving herself up on a silver platter for him. Old Jordie would have jumped in dick first, but new Jordie had his dick and mind set on another.