Madison nods.

“If I pull my hand away and let you up, will you help me?”

She nods again, so I remove my hand slowly. She stares up at me with tears rolling down her cheek and blood on her lips from where I had to shove my hand against her mouth to keep her quiet.

“You’re bleeding.” I lean in and kiss her blood away. “Shhh. I just need your help. Everything will be okay then. I didn’t want to hit you. You shouldn’t have closed the door like that.”

“I’m sorry.” She’s shaking, and her voice sounds rough. She swallows before she asks, “What do you need?”

“I need you to come with me to give Eva a message.”

“I could call her,” Madison offers.

It’s cute how she thinks she can come up with a better plan. I laugh and kiss her nose. “No. I know what I’m doing.” I straighten up so I’m straddling her rather than pressed against her whole body. I grab her right arm and pull it down so it’s pinned under my knee. That’s when I notice my hand. “You tore my glove.”

“I’m sorry.” She starts shaking again. “I didn’t mean to.”

I reach over and grab the water bottle that I dropped. “Here. Take a sip.”

She stares up at me, but her mouth doesn’t open. Her lips stay tightly closed.

“There’s blood in your mouth, Madison. I’m going to give you some water.” I open the bottle with my teeth, biting it and tugging up. “Open your mouth.”

Her h*ps buck as she tries to shake me off, and her left hand comes up to try to scratch me. She catches my arm, scoring her fingernails across the bottom of my throat, and I drop the bottle to grab her wrist.

“Amy was very happy at the end,” I tell Madison. “We’d been together for months. Robert never knew. That’s why she went to him the night Eva got hurt. I told her to tell him that he should break up with Eva. I knew he wouldn’t though. Then Eva would be alone. I thought she’d die when I hit her. I thought I killed her, but the Lord spared her. That’s how I knew that what I was meant to do was work harder to teach her.”

Madison sobs, but she stops trying to throw me off her. “Please, let me go. I’m sorry. I don’t want to die.”

“Would you touch me like Amy used to?” I stare down at her. I feel ashamed that I feel excited by the movement of her h*ps under me, but the only time anyone has ever arched up like that was when we were naked. I think it’s probably normal to be excited. “If I asked you, would you?”

She doesn’t answer. “Would you let me go if I did?”

It’s not a no, but she doesn’t want me. That much is clear. I hoped, but she doesn’t want me. Eva will. Once she knows I did what she asked, she’ll want me. I pick the bottle up and put it on Madison’s mouth.

“Drink the water,” I tell her.

She tries to turn away, so I grab her chin to hold her still. She bucks up again.

“Stop that. You don’t really want to, so stop.”

The water is a stream, not so fast that it’ll choke her. It was easier with Amy. She trusted me. Madison doesn’t seem to want to help me. It’ll be okay though. All I need is about fifteen minutes. The GHB is quick acting, and then she won’t resist.

“In a few minutes, we’re going to get up and go to the car, so we can give Eva her message,” I explain. “I’ll help you out to the car so you don’t fall.”

“Please!” Madison smiles up at me. “You’re not a bad guy. I won’t tell anyone you were here. Just go. Leave me here, please. I’ll make it up to you. Do . . . do what Amy used to for you.” She sniffles. “I could. Just don’t kill me. Please?”

If she hadn’t waited until she had the medicine, I could’ve let her, but she’ll be unconscious soon. I don’t want that. I shake my head. “I just need you to help me with a message.”

For about twenty minutes, she keeps making offers, promises, but it’s too late. I do kiss her when she asks because she sounds so honest. That’s all. I suspect this was a test, to see if I was worthy of Eva. I wonder if she even told Madison to offer herself to me. Later, I’ll explain to Eva that I was faithful to her. All I did was kiss Madison. It’s probably a little frightening to know you’re going to die but not understand that it’s for a greater cause.

Finally, the medicine kicks in enough that she can’t fight me, so I help Madison to the car and fasten her seat belt. I’m a little nervous that my car was outside so long, but I still take a moment to tuck red and white roses inside the top of her shirt. I’d already cut the thorns off before I came here, so I don’t hurt her.

I don’t like the extra time, but I want the message to be perfect, and it’s not like I ever keep the same car anyway. I get them for a little while, and after each message, I get new ones from my uncle in Durham. He buys junkers, and if I run a few errands for him, he lets me borrow cars. I don’t tell people—mostly because I know that the packages I pick up are drugs, but also because he’s one of the relatives we don’t mention.

I have to drive past the lake the first time because there’s a mom and her kids, but when I loop back, they’ve gone. After I park, I put duct tape over Madison’s mouth. I’m not sure if she’ll scream. Then I gather up the knife I had under my seat and carry it and Madison to the edge of the water. After I lower her to the ground, I use my knife to write: TO EVA. FOREVER. Then, I pull out my phone and take a picture. I don’t send it yet. I want to be with Eva when she sees it.