143,10. “He cares for me,” I say with certainty.

    “I hope you’re right. I hope he’s changed. If so, I won’t protest if he works my case with you. But if you’re wrong, and he’s doing this to make you think he’s changed, make you think he’s willing to help you, well... I’m sorry. You deserve better.”

    My mind whirrs with questions and yes, even secret fears as Clay and I set up the perimeter. An easy task, considering we simply place a disk in each corner of the room, press a button and, boom! A Buckler forms.

    As for my fears...before Killian, another ML pretended to be a guard at Prynne, simply to play me. He made me think he loved me, that everything he did was meant to help me.

    I fell for his act. And why not? He comforted me when I was beaten, ensured I was given food when I was supposed to be starved, and pretended to aid my escape. Actions meant to prove his feelings for me...to prove I was his soul mate and belonged in Myriad with him.

    Dr. Vans killed him before we cleared the building. Or so I thought. It was just another set up. James was a Shell, and his spirit returned to Myriad.

    For the first time, I’d seriously considered making covenant with Myriad. I’d wanted to be with him. What a mistake that would have been. I’d been one of thousands to him.

    What number am I to Killian?

    TROIKA

* * *

    From: T_L_2/23.43.2

    To: L_N_3/19.1.1

    Subject: Rant alert

    I’ve decided to trust you with my life, Levi Nanne, because I’ve trusted you with something far more precious to me and you’ve exceeded my expectations. (My brother’s life, in case you’re wondering.)

    There’s a spy among us. Don’t ask me who it is; I don’t know. (Possible spoiler alert: it’s not me.)

    What I do know? Everything I learn about everything opens a Pandora’s box of questions, and everything I thought I knew I know I never really knew. Now I’m a walking question mark and I do not like it, so you need to help me.

    Light Brings Sight!

    Conduit-in-training,

    Tenley Lockwood

    PS: thanks for letting me take the lead with Dior

    PPS: Did you notice the complete lack of typos????

    PPPS: I am so rocking thes

    TROIKA

* * *

    From: T_L_2/23.43.2

    To: L_N_3/19.1.1

    Subject: Argh!

    I meant this.

    I am rocking this.

    This, this, this

    TROIKA

* * *

    From: L_N_3/19.1.1

    To: T_L_2/23.43.2

    Subject: Good thing I speak Teen Girl.

    You can think or know something in your mind but until you know it deep in your heart, you don’t really know anything. Also, making a decision based on fear is the fastest way to arrive at the wrong place at the wrong time. Where there’s peace, there’s your answer.

    I know there’s a spy among us, but I appreciate the heads-up. (And I never thought it was you.)

    I can predict what your next message will say. How did you know about the spy, oh, magnificent General? Let me save us both a little time. The answer is: I’m very good at my job.

    General Levi Nanne

    Light Brings Sight!

    PS: I’m half impressed with your cojones and half disappointed. We’ll discuss my reasons at your debriefing.

    PPS: before you freak out, debriefings are standard operating procedure…and yours is scheduled to take place five minutes before now. Hustle!

    chapter twelve

* * *

    “Mercy forever walks hand in hand with your doom.”

    —Myriad

    Five minutes before now? A fancy way of saying I’m late. Great!

    I return to Troika, my heart pounding. There’s no one waiting for me on the other side of the Veil, but I receive a message from Kayla with directions to the Tribunal, located inside the Temple of Temples. I do as Levi commanded and hustle my bustle, even though I would prefer to avoid any kind of debriefing.

    I’ve never attended one, but I can guess how this one will go down. I’ll explain what I did and why I did it, and Levi will tell me what I did wrong...which will be...oh, absolutely everything.

    I rush through Gates and Stairwells, my mind whirling. Levi knows about the spy. That’s good. It’s a burden I don’t have to carry alone. I just have to keep my head on a swivel, note anything out of the ordinary—not that I know what’s ordinary in Troika—and sleep with one eye open.

    I smack into Raanan, Nico and Hoshi. The trio catches me, though it’s Raanan who prevents me from falling. His eyes glint with amusement.

    “Cool your jets, little girl,” Nico says with a laugh. “We’re about to—”

    “Sorry, no time to talk. But thank you.” I keep going, staggered by the difference our training has made in our attitudes.

    The trio exuded relaxation; they were probably out having fun between classes. I’m constantly on the go, constantly working to save Troika and stop a war. I both envy and pity them. Action today prevents regret tomorrow.

    I throw a glance over my shoulder. Nico and Hoshi have moved on, but Raanan is exactly where I left him, his gaze glued to me. Intense, curious. I wonder... Is he envious of me?