“Yes. God help me, yes, it does.”

Erin couldn’t tell if the anguish in his voice was because he was nearly ready to come or if he was fighting the moment. She didn’t want to know right then.

All she wanted was to feel him inside her.

Todd could not f**king believe he had his c**k in a woman in public! And it felt good, damn it. He felt alive and turned on. Erin was his own personal siren.

He licked the column of her neck, taking in the salt of her skin as her honey seeped down his c**k to his balls. The woman was on fire. Need throbbed inside him, making his skin feel too tight over his bones. Images flashed through his mind; he wanted to hold her wrists high against the scrape of the wall at her back, wanted to sink his teeth into her shoulder.

She began to writhe against him, grinding her swollen clit against his fingers. He heard her breath catch and a soft moan as she came around his cock, squeezing him with those muscles until he wanted to weep with how good it felt.

Instead it was as if all his organs shot out his c**k when he came, pinning her to the wall as she quietly sobbed her own release.

Catching his breath, he rested his forehead on her chest as he pulled out, tied off the condom and tucked his c**k back into his pants.

He didn’t know what to say, but when he looked into her face, she winked and leaned in for a quick kiss. “That was incredibly hot.”

He shook his head and tugged her toward his car, disposing of the condom in a nearby Dumpster, wondering what magic she possessed to make him want so very much the things he should not.

4

For the next two months their contact remained at a fever pitch. Any time they were alone for more than five minutes, they had sex.

Standing up, sitting down, on the kitchen table, on the stairs at her place, in the shower. He was on fire for her, and the freedom made his blood sing. Erin was good for him in so many ways. He truly believed it. Enjoyed her company, loved being around her. At the same time, he battled his guilt and shame over his desires and he didn’t quite know what to do about it. He was raised to believe men didn’t harm women, even if the woman liked it. Raised to see that the union between the genders was about gentleness and kindness, and when those dark urges of his had bubbled up before, he’d tamped them down.

Only, with Erin, those urges were encouraged. She reveled in them, and in doing so, he found himself craving more. He distrusted the rawness in that, distrusted his behavior, because it was far from what he’d been led to believe was good and true.

On one hand, when he was with her, he felt as if he were coming into his own, growing into the man he wanted so badly to be. But at the same time, he struggled with the belief that the man he wanted to be was wrong. If she made him feel that way, didn’t that make her bad for him? In the end, feeling good also felt bad, and who the hell was he going to talk to about it? Not his parents, that was for sure. His friends? How would he broach that he liked to leave little bite marks on her shoulder so he could look at them while he f**ked her from behind? If it wasn’t shameful, why would he be afraid to talk about it?

One afternoon, at lunch with some friends, he’d seen her come into the small restaurant and he lifted a hand. His stomach warmed at the sight of her.

She saw and smiled, approaching them.

“Who the hell is that?” Ron Dyson, his old partner, mumbled. Dyson was old school. A lifelong beat cop, a man in his early sixties with very set opinions. A good cop, great instincts, but not the most open-minded man around.

“Hi, Officer Keenan. What’s doin’?”

Todd couldn’t help but return her smile. She looked so beautiful there, her dreads back in a bandana, her long, lithe body wrapped in some funky blue dress thing.

“Just having lunch.” He wondered if he should invite her to sit down. Wondered if their worlds could ever accommodate each other. “And you?”

“I’m picking up a to-go order. I’ll see you later. Have a good day.”

She grabbed several large bags and waved as she left with another woman and headed up the block. He knew her older brother’s tattoo shop and the adjoining coffee bar she ran weren’t very far away.

“Um, she’s not your usual type. Where’d you meet her? Did you arrest her or something?” Ron snickered.

“She’s a friend. She lives a few doors down. Her name is Erin.”

“Don’t get your boxers in a bunch. I was just askin’. It’s not like I thought you were marrying her or anything.”

Todd looked up the street and back to his friends, sighing.

Erin knew something was up when she got home from a show and he’d left a note asking for her to come over. She showered quickly and changed before going to his place.

Rolling her eyes inwardly at the music he played, she plopped down on his couch. The scent of pizza hung in the air.

She smiled her thanks when he handed her a plate with two pieces of hot, melty pie. “You’re a god. A genius in bed and pizza too. Why are you single anyway?”

He looked at her, surprised.

“I’m not kidding. I’m curious. You’re like, incredibly, unbelievably handsome. You have a steady job. You’re responsible. You make sure I come before you do. You have a good car. You’re intelligent, funny when you’re not trying to pretend you don’t get off on the wild sex we have, and you’re hot.”

“I don’t know how to talk to you.” He scrubbed his hands over his face.

“Why do you make simple things so complicated? Maybe you should stop worrying so much and just talk to me. Be yourself. Why don’t you tell me about yourself? We’ve been, um, dating for a few months now, but you don’t talk about yourself much.”