Something she just couldn’t be after being with him.

Knowing that he might suspect that she didn’t want children killed her too. It furthered her assumption that he would just brush her decision under the rug and go on with life like it wasn’t a big deal. But it was. She could still remember when they were younger and they discussed having kids. They were so young and silly, but they were Karson and Lacey. She loved the way they were together.

“I think we should have two boys and a girl,” he said, his eyes shining with excitement. “But not till we are old, like thirty.”

“For sure,” she agreed. “I’ve got to start my business, and you’ve got to kick ass in the NHL before we bring kids into the world.”

“Absolutely. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure we are good and rich in a huge house before we have kids.”

She rolled her eyes, flicking her finger along his chin. “Doesn’t matter if we are rich or have a big house, Karson. It matters if we are happy.”

“Well, yeah, but my kids aren’t going to grow up without everything they need.”

“They’ll have everything they need as long as we love them,” she pointed out as she met his gaze. “I didn’t need anything but my mom’s love, and that’s all you needed from your parents.”

“You’re right,” he agreed, a grin pulling at his lips. “So we’ll wait till we are thirty, and we’ll have two boys and a girl, right?”

“Why two boys?” she laughed. “What about three girls?”

“The hell? I’m not paying for all those weddings!”

She giggled. “Weddings? No one will get near your girls,” she teased and he nodded, stone-faced.

“Damn right, I’ll have my shotgun cleaned out every day,” he said. “But no, really, I need hockey players.”

“Fine,” she shrugged. “Two girls and a boy.”

“No, two boys and girl. So she can be our princess and you can be my queen,” he said with a wink.

Her face warmed. “Okay, you talked me into it…since you know we can control this,” she said and he laughed.

“This is true, but still. I think we should name them Karter with a K, Kameron, with a K, and Kami, with a K, of course.”

Her brows came in as she shook her head. “Let me remind you, I am not down with a houseful of K names. No way.”

“K is a solid letter.”

She laughed. “So is every other letter in the alphabet.”

“I wouldn’t be scared of some dude with a Y name.”

She gave him a deadpan look. “You’re right, but still. Only one K name.”

“I’m telling my mom,” he teased and she laughed.

“Shut up, what about Karter with a K, Greyson, and Addison?”

His lip curled as she shrugged. “Let’s let this go for a while. We have ten years till we have kids, so we’ll revisit this when I knock you up. Maybe by then you’ll come up with something a little better than those names.”

She glared. “I like my names. They are better than all Ks.”

“I tend to disagree, but it’s okay because I like you and all your stupid names,” he smirked, cuddling his nose against hers. Leaning her back in the bed, his hand went up her ribs, and when she stopped him, he grinned. “So no practicing for babies yet?”

She smiled. “Not yet.”

He nodded, wrapping her up in his arms and kissing her nose. “I can wait. For both.”

“Me too,” she agreed. “I can’t wait, though.”

“Me neither,” he said against her lips. “It’s going to be amazing—our life together.”

And it was. It was everything she’d ever imagined. The love, the sex, the togetherness—they had it all, but would it be enough for him when she told him the truth? She wasn’t sure, but she couldn’t think of that right now. Not when she was watching him pull his bag out of the trunk so that one of the Assassins’ workers could take it.

He was leaving.

For two weeks.

She had been so stressed out about the kid thing that she hadn’t even realized time was slipping through her fingers. Looking around, she saw all the players with their families. They were hugging, some kids were crying, but the wives seemed to be pros while Lacey was a big, blubbering mess. Big fat tears ran down her face as he handed his bag off and then looked over at her, his lips curving at one side.

“It’s only for two weeks. Don’t look at me like that,” he said before reaching for her and pulling her into his chest, hard. Wrapping her up like he was never going to see her again, he kissed her lips, wiping her tears away with his thumbs. “It won’t be long at all, sweetheart. Don’t cry.”

“I just don’t want you to leave,” she cried, sucking in a deep breath.

“I know. I don’t want to leave, but we both know I have to.”

“Yeah, I know,” she said with a nod. “I’m going to miss you.”

“I’ll miss you more,” he promised, kissing her lips again. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she deepened the kiss, praying that it would hold her over until he returned. It was going to be a long fourteen days, and she hoped it wouldn’t be too much torture without him.

“I’ll call you every chance I get.”

“I’ll be waiting,” she said, her lips dusting against his. His eyes were full of worry and maybe a little bit of regret. She didn’t like that at all and mentally slapped herself. There was no reason to worry him or make him feel bad for having to leave. This was his career. This is how he helped support them. Wiping away her tears, she smiled and said with as much strength as she could muster, “I’ll be okay.”