Rider was drinking.

Rider did not drink.

Ever.

Jumping to my feet, I ran over to him and pushed away his hand from his face. I gently lifted his chin and asked, “Rider? Good Lord! Are you okay? What happened to you?”

Rider stared at me for just a moment too long, then gently pushed away my hand. The bleak look in his tired brown eyes cut me in half. “Ask your man.”

“What?” I whispered, my stomach churning. “Styx did this?”

“Yeah, sugar. He knocked me the f**k out after we shared a few words when he came and collected your stuff.”

“Why are you both fighting over me?” I asked brokenly. I covered myself with my arms, suddenly feeling cold. “You are both important to me, so why…?”

Rider regained his composure; then raked back his long hair with his hand, a small disbelieving smile on his lips. “You know why, Mae. You can’t be that blind.”

My eyes widened, reality dawning. “Rider, no!” I reached for his hand. “Please, do not say any more. I cannot hear it.” I fought back the swell of tears in my eyes. “Rider… I am with Styx. You… to me… you are my closest friend. Not…” I trailed off, not wanting to hurt his feelings.

Rider took back his hand and his entire body stilled. “You know what, Mae? Maybe Lois was right. Maybe it would’ve been best if you’d never come here to the Hangmen. Right now, the way I’m feeling, I wish I’d never met you at all.”

I stepped back in horror, unable to believe the words that had fallen from Rider’s lips. I did not believe him capable of being cruel or mean, and it felt like I had been stabbed in the heart. Rider’s words hurt more than a dagger.

“Doc,” Letti warned. “Prez’ll give you more than that damn bruised jaw if he hears you talking to his bitch like that. In fact, keep upsetting Mae, and I’ll tell him myself.”

Brushing past me, Rider ignored Letti and went behind the bar. Pit stepped back, clearly not wanting to get in his way. I frowned. I had not even noticed the prospect had been here all this time. I could not understand why he was not out searching for Styx?

Grabbing a cloth, Rider filled it full of ice with his good hand, then pressed it to his jaw. Rider’s eyes then scanned the room. He frowned and asked of no one in particular, “Where’s everyone?”

Letti walked over to the bar and confronted Rider. “Styx went after the Nazis alone. They’re out looking for him.”

Rider’s face reddened with rage. “Why the f**k wasn’t I called? I should’ve been told. I don’t believe this shit. I’m the f**kin’ Road Captain!”

Letti slammed her fist into his injured shoulder. Rider gritted his teeth and roared out in pain.

“I’m guessing because of that!” Letti replied, a sarcastic tone in her voice. She smiled to herself as she walked back to sit on the couch.

Rider glared at Letti, then Beauty, before looking at me. A flash of guilt followed by pain crossed his brown eyes. Turning to the shelves of liquor at the rear of the long, well-stocked bar, Rider chose a green bottle with an elk on the front. He then staggered back to his room without uttering a single word.

I stared at Rider’s bunched-up back and watched him go, his good hand favoring his injured shoulder.

Beauty linked arms with me. “Let him be, Mae. He’s just in a whole worlda hurt right now. Brother spends ninety percent of his time on his Chopper, out on the road. His shoulder’s keeping him caged here at the compound, and it’s killing him. Seein’ you with Styx, looks like it’s killing him too. But your focus needs to be on Prez. You’re his old lady now. Rider’ll sort himself out on his own. Mae, you pull up those big girl breeches and live the life you made for yourself. Styx, he’s Prez of the Hangmen mother chapter. Girl, you need to be the perfect old lady for him.”

Mother chapter? Once again, I had no idea what she meant, but I got that she thought I should be acting stronger than I had been of late.

I could do stronger.

Slowly inhaling a deep breath, I asked, “What do we do now?”

Beauty pulled me back to the couch. I was sandwiched between her and Letti. “We wait,” she replied. “We just sit and wait and pray our men come back in one piece.” Beauty then added, “With their hearts still beating in their chests.”

***

Over two hours passed and one by one the brothers made their return. No Styx. Each time the front door swung open, my stomach muscles tensed to the point of agony. My lungs seemed to stop working and crushing disappointment followed crushing disappointment on seeing every face but that of my man.

The only brother left to arrive was Ky. I felt if anyone could find Styx, it would be him. Ten minutes later, Ky returned, empty handed.

No Styx.

It was at that point my heart finally broke.

Ky had ripped through the entrance like he was being chased by the devil himself. He immediately scanned the lounge, his blue eyes desperately seeking Styx’s face. When Ky realized his best friend was absent, a distraught expression contorted his chiseled visage.

It was obvious. Ky now believed my Styx, my River—his best friend, his brother—was dead.

No one talked; brothers and sisters alike barely moved. A pall of silence hung heavily in the room as each brother contemplated the inevitable. The large Harley Davidson clock above the bar ticked loudly, telling us all that time was running out for Styx. The Hangmen sat on couches and chairs around the room and they all stared at the floor… waiting, just waiting. All any of us could do was wait.

Ky walked toward me and Beauty gave up her seat. She walked across the room to sit on Tank’s lap and she pressed her lips to his as they shared a gentle embrace. I envied Beauty at that moment. I watched her lovingly caress Tank’s cheeks, press her lips against his head. And there was Tank, holding Beauty as if she were the only woman in existence. I realized this is how a couple in love should be with each other. Would I ever get to be like that with Styx? Perhaps… perhaps not.

The brown leather couch sagged as Ky sat down beside me and I picked up my clenched-with-worry hand and gripped it in his; his hand was equally tense.

I lifted my head. Ky looked straight at me and blurted, “I kept you apart.”

Startled by his confession, I could only muster a weak frown. Ky squirmed in his seat, his blue eyes darting around the brothers to check they were not listening, before landing back on me.