Inside Out Page 63


Still, as she undulated her hips, rising and falling over his cock, she burned herself into his heart, into his soul, and there was nothing else inside but what she did to him.

He came as he looked up her body, over the curves of her br**sts, the points of her ni**les, puffy from desire, the line of her collarbone and the elegant neck. “Beautiful.”

He was addicted to Ella Tipton’s presence in his life. Needed her in ways that scared him, even as they thrilled him.

Ella smiled up at Cope as he put a mug of tea at her left hand. She’d been working on a paper, the last major assignment she had. She finished her practicum already, had done her fieldwork. Essentially, she was done once the paper was turned in.

But she was neglecting him, and he’d taken the time to be with her. He was probably mad about that.

“I’m sorry. Let me put this away, and we can hang out,” she said, finishing up the sentence she’d been typing into her notebook computer.

He leaned in, touching her arm. “Hey, no stress at all. It’s important, and I’m not going anywhere. Just reading the paper and watching you. Take your time, Red.”

Oh. The shame of it washed through her as she realized she’d been reacting like she had with Bill. Stupid and totally unwarranted.

She got up on not quite strong legs, and he jumped forward to steady her. “Babe, you okay?” He peered into her face, and to her great mortification, she burst into tears. He drew her into his arms, running his hands up and down her back. “Shhh. What is it? Ella, what’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry.”

He picked her up then, like it was easy, and bought them both to the couch before sitting, keeping her snuggled in his lap.

“Sorry for what? Did I do something wrong?”

Which only made it worse that he’d think it was him instead of her being all stupid and bound up inside over something that happened to her years before.

She shook her head. “No. Not you at all. It’s me. Just something stupid.”

“Your ex?”

“I’m dumb, Andrew. To be affected by something that happened so long ago. You’ve never done anything to merit a reaction like this. I’m”—she clapped her hands over her eyes—“humiliated. I’m so sorry. We can go back to Seattle. I’ve ruined everything.”

He tightened his hold, kissing her cheeks, kissing her eyelids and her temple. “Shhh. You’re not dumb. You’re one of the smartest people I know. Tell me. Tell me and let it go.”

She didn’t want to taint the weekend with that. “It’s not a pretty story. It’s not nice, and I don’t want to bring it here between us.”

He tipped her chin up, kissing her lips softly. “Baby, it’s already between us. You’re apologizing for something I don’t even understand over something that seems like nothing you’d need to apologize for.”

She tried to duck her head, but he wouldn’t let her. Finally she shook her head and moved his hand. “I can’t. I can’t look at you when I say it. I can’t. Please.”

He paused, blinking a few times. “Christ. Ella, I don’t know what to do here. I don’t want you to be ashamed. It’s not your fault. I don’t want you to think I agree that whatever you say is something you can’t say to my face. Because you can trust me not to judge you.”

“I can’t. It’s too humiliating. Please. I want to try to tell you, but I can’t deal with looking at you when I do. You’re something beautiful, and I don’t even know how I ever ended up with you like this. You’re something right. But what was before wasn’t right.”

“All right. Tell me how you need to tell me. But I want you to understand something, Ella Tipton. You can tell me anything. I admire you. I like you, and though it’s probably the way wrong time to say it, I love you. Look away if you need to, but you need to know that.”

She blew out a breath, her eyes widening and her heart thudding in her chest. Maybe he meant it like he loved her in the same way Elise loved her.

“You’re totally transparent, did you know that?” He grinned, kissing her hard and fast. “We can talk about the love thing after you tell me the other stuff. It can be a palate cleanser.”

She frowned at him, but he kept wearing that damned sexy grin. She took a deep breath and ducked her head. But left her hand wrapped in his. “It’s just that he had to be in the center of my focus at all times. I couldn’t read at home or do homework. He would be insulted if I paid attention to other stuff. It was just second nature, I guess. To see you there and feel guilty. And then ashamed.”

“It wasn’t the act of me bringing you tea that brought this on. Ella, please look at me.”

She did, raising her eyes to meet his, hanging on for dear life.

“You smiled at me. You finished your sentence and then said you’d be right with me. I told you it wasn’t a big deal. It was after that when it hit. What was it that pushed your buttons?”

“It hits sometimes. Well, no, these days it always hits in some totally random and unexpected way.” She licked her lips. “I knew you didn’t mean it that way. I knew you weren’t upset because I brought along my work to begin with. I wouldn’t have before. I gave up pretty much everything for him, so he could always be number one. You’re not like that. I know it. But some part of me deep down reacted that way. Like an animal. It’s not about you at all. I dragged you into it.”

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