“Which is precisely why Bananach took him there,” Niall murmured. Then, he took her arm and escorted her from the courtyard with a comfort that felt familiar. It wasn’t time to dwell on the past, on the losses that she should’ve accepted years past. It was time to prepare for the future—deadly though it might be.

Chapter 24

Aislinn stood nervously outside the door to the formal dining room. Lately she’d had dinner every night with Keenan. Some nights, other faeries joined them; sometimes, a number of the Summer Girls were with them; but tonight, it would be just the two of them.

Choose to be happy.That’s what Siobhan had said, and Aislinn had been repeating it like a mantra since that night. For weeks, she’d been attempting just that: not giving up but trying not to wallow either. It wasn’t working.

She took a deep breath and opened the door.

Keenan was waiting—which wasn’t unusual. She knew he’d be there. What was unusual was the change in the room. Candles were lit everywhere. There were also tapers in the wall sconces and fat pillars on tall silver and bronze stands.

Aislinn crossed to the table and poured herself a glass of summer wine. The decanter was old, something she’d not seen before.

Keenan didn’t speak while she sipped her wine.

She looked not at him but at the candle flames flickering in the draft that came through the room. She didn’t want discord between them, especially not as he was her lifeline as of late, but she had to know how much Keenan had hidden from her. She asked the question she’d been pondering since Siobhan’s lecture: “Did you know Seth had a charm to protect him from faery glamour?”

“I’ve seen it.”

“You’ve seen it.” She let the words drag out, let the silence build, let him have the chance to say something to ease her hurt at not telling her this.

He didn’t apologize. Instead he said, “I expect Niall gave it to him.”

Her hands tightened on the wood of her chair until it started to splinter into her palms. “You didn’t mention it…because?”

“I had no desire to mention anything that could drive you further from me. You know that, Aislinn. I wanted you as my true queen. You felt it too.” Keenan came and stood beside her. He loosened her hands from the chair. “Will you forgive me? And him?…And yourself?”

Tears were streaming down her cheeks again. “I don’t really want to talk about any of this.”

And Keenan didn’t point out that she’d brought it up, or that not-talking wasn’t a solution, or any of the things he could’ve said. Instead, he said, “All I want in this moment is to help you smile.”

“I know.” Aislinn lifted a napkin from the table and studied the embroidered sunbursts that wound into vines.

“It’ll get easier,” he continued. He was like that since Seth left, constantly reassuring her.

She nodded. “I know, but right now it’s still awful. I feel like I’ve lost everything. Just like it was for you every time one of the Summer Girls refused the test…and when each Winter Girl risked the cold. Either way, each time they came to that point, you lost.”

Keenan’s expression was guarded then. “Until you.”

They stood there in awkward silence for several moments until Keenan sighed. “This conversation is not making you any happier, Aislinn.”

“It’s not the…romantic stuff that I miss…I mean, I do.” She paused, trying to figure out how to explain this to a faery who—for all his years—didn’t seem to have any true friends. “Seth was my best friend before he was anything else. He was the only one I could talk to when you and Donia were…when you picked me.”

Keenan waited.

“Best friends don’t leave without a word,” Aislinn said. Now that the words were there, they started bubbling out, and she was saying the things she’d been hiding inside. “I don’t need a boyfriend. I don’t need a mate or partner or any of that. I need my friends. Leslie’s gone. I can’t talk to my other friends about anything in my life. Doniastabbed me…not that we were close, but I thought we were becoming friends. And now, my best friend has left me.”

“And you feel alone.” Keenan came closer but didn’t intrude in her space. “So let me be your friend. That’s what you offered me when you became my queen. The approach of summer has added something else to it, but that’s…Ineed you to be happy, Aislinn.”

She nodded, and then she said the words that she wished she didn’t have to, “It’s been weeks without a word. I don’t think he’ll be back, but I can’t let go.”

“Let me be yourfriend , Aislinn. That’s all I’m suggesting today. If the rest happens or doesn’t, we can deal with that part later. No pressure, just an open door.” He held out his arms for an embrace. “For now, just let me be here for you. We need to try to move forward instead of standing here weeping and waiting.”

She let him hold her. Her sigh caught between pleasure and remorse as he stroked her hair, letting sunlight slide down the strands until she was languid, at peace as she rarely was these days.

“It’ll be okay. One way or another, things will be okay in the end,” he promised.

She wasn’t sure if he was speaking opinion or truth, but for now, she let herself believe him.

Happiness is a choice.

Chapter 25

Another month passed without word. Summer was in full strength. Graduation had come and gone, but Aislinn only knew this because her diploma was waiting at her house one afternoon.

“I’m sorry I missed it,” Aislinn told Grams. “If you’d wanted…”

“It’s okay, sweetie.” Grams patted the sofa.

Aislinn went to her. It felt like each step was through too-thick air. “I’m trying. It feels like the sun is choking me some days. And Seth…I still don’t know.”

“It’ll get easier. Being this will get easier. I can’t say I understand, but”—Grams took Aislinn’s hand—“you are stronger than you know. Don’t forget that.”