Blue Lines Page 32
Piper watched as he took off his shirt and threw it down on the back of the couch. His body was covered with tattoos, something that Piper loved on men. His back was covered with a large red heart with black wings that covered his shoulder blades, making their way around to his chest. He also had a bunch of intricate images of skulls and tribal art that ran along his arms. The ink on his arms stopped right where his shirt sleeves would end, and along one arm he had an interesting tattoo that she was sure meant more than she realized: Nothing lasts forever.
Those words should have been warning signs when Piper first saw them, in bed with him that night, but they weren’t. She was too busy running her mouth along the two large black stars that sat on his pelvic bones. His thighs were inked to look as if the flesh was being torn away, giving the impression that he was a cyborg beneath his skin. They were all pretty badass, in Piper’s opinion.
When Erik dropped into his chair and began gaming, Piper headed to her bedroom. If she didn’t, she knew she’d stay in the kitchen watching his every move. Closing the door she began changing for bed, grabbing her favorite shirt an old tattered black tee that read, “Buffalo High Bull Dogs.” Sliding it over her head, she wondered if that was the reason that Erik loved bulldogs, since her old favorite shirt was originally his. Although the shirt was getting a little tight around her midsection, it wasn’t uncomfortable. Whatever; she would wear his shirt until she couldn’t, which she hoped was never. This shirt and their baby were the only things she had left to keep from that night.
Oh, and her broken heart.
Lying on her back, she lifted the shirt back over her belly and ran her fingers softly over her extended flesh. It blew her mind how much she had started showing within the last couple of days. It was as if the baby were saying, “Hey! I’m here!” She wondered what she was having: Was it a girl with gorgeous dark eyes and dark hair? Or a little boy with dark hair and light eyes like hers? Would Erik’s features win in the genetic pool, or would hers? In a way, Piper really didn’t care; she just wanted the baby to be healthy. When she felt the slight kick along her ribs, her eyes pooled with tears.
She wanted to be the best mother in the world, but would she fail at that, too? When the next kick came, she knew she was about to have a long, unbearable night of tears. She hated when she did this to herself, but lately her self-esteem had taken a turn for the worse. She was always second-guessing herself about being a good mother. Financially she wasn’t struggling by any means, but she didn’t have that extra cushion. And being a single parent would ultimately be a challenge since she knew deep down that Erik would take off faster than he had come in, and then she would be raising a child all by herself with minimal help from him, if any at all.
Rolling over, she wrapped her arms around her belly, pulling her knees up as far as she could get them, as the tears began to fall. Closing her wet eyes, she wondered when the pain would stop. Would it be when he finally was gone for good?
Or would she always have this ache in her chest for Erik Titov?
* * *
Erik watched as Piper closed the door behind her, then heard the click of the lock, and it was only then that he let out the breath he was holding. She made his skin prickle with awareness and it bothered him that he was so affected by her. It was torture wrapping his arms around her at Jakob and Harper’s house as they played their roles, trying to convince their families of their undying love for each other. The strangest thing was, he swore every time he looked into her eyes that he wanted her, and that was driving him mad. Piper had that “kiss me” kind of smile and he had to fight everything inside himself not to. He’d have to be careful while playing this charade, to limit himself to kissing only her cheeks and forehead, despite the fact that his body yearned to make a detour to devour her mouth.
God help him when he would actually have to kiss her!
His body shook with the anticipation of their mouths meeting, while his brain chastised him for stupidly getting himself into this mess in the first place. How in the world did he think this was going to work? She was hurting; that was easy to see. She hated lying to her family and friends, and so did he, but he couldn’t risk his career. He was going to have to deal, and if he couldn’t, he might as well start packing.
The whole ride home, listening to her breathy laugh on the phone made Erik feel as if he were in a sanctuary of hell. He wanted to pull the car over to the side of the road, drag her onto his lap, and bury himself deep within her. His body wanted her, there was no denying that. When Piper got up from the dinner table to use the bathroom, he found himself watching her as she walked down the hall, those short shorts she had on riding up her butt, allowing a glimpse of her red and black bow tattoos.
It was like she was mind-fucking him with her exquisite body.
But Piper was completely and utterly off-limits. Even if she was so f**king vivacious that she made his dick harder than a frozen puck, he had to stay away. He couldn’t hurt her any more than he already had. If he gave in to his desires for her, there was no telling what would happen. He knew it wasn’t in his genetic makeup to be a one-woman man and he wouldn’t put her through that. He couldn’t.
Leaning forward into his game chair, he dropped the controller and let his face fall into his open hands. He sat like that for a long time as he tried to regulate his breathing. Any other female, he could f**k them and leave them, no problem at all. But ever since he sank himself into Piper’s body, a day hadn’t gone by where he didn’t think of her. It scared him to his core, and it made no sense.